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Totalanimefan

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@SorrowTheMad: I feel like I can't look away because I can't trust them not to hurt me. I try to tell myself that it isn't going to happen again but I just can't trust them.
Oh I do that a lot. I'm not afraid of flying cause I know it's way safer than driving and we do that every day (well before the pandemic.) It's not really the needle that scares me. It's a long story, but something happened when I was a teen with a nurse after getting a needle and I asked her not to touch me, and she ignored me and I fainted.

SorrowTheMad

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@Totalanimefan: Ouch. I'm really sorry to hear that that happened to you, Total. I could totally see why you wouldn't trust them very much if that was the case. That's gotta be really tough to deal with. I thought of something else that I do, I talk to the nurse with the needle, try to distract myself a bit. Maybe make a dumb joke (BEFORE she tries to stick me, not during lol). Hopefully you're able to get through this, I know that can't be easy.

Totalanimefan

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@SorrowTheMad: Thank you -hugs- It was really hard for me, and harder was that after the fact I told my mom and dad about it (my Dad's a nurse) and then both invalidated me. My Dad said he would have done the same and that what she did was just protocol and my mom was like, what's the big deal? So for 10+ years I also thought that there was something wrong with me that I acted like that. :(
I worked that part out in therapy. And in Jan 2020 I had an appt and I tried to get a shot. I let the nurses be in the room with me with the needle. I even got to the point where it was uncapped but they needed me to be still and calm before they would stick me, for safety of both parties (which I get). So I was able to get a lot further than I ever did and my husband couldn't believe the progress, but I still feel like I failed because I didn't get the shot. My therapist said that I made wonderful progress and it doesn't all happen the first time.
I do wonder how much I've regressed. Not only because of time, but because of all the traumas of 2020. The ones we can all relate to. It's a known thing that regression happens when we are stressed for long periods of time and when we go through new trauma. :(

Maybe a dumb joke and trying to see them as more human will help me. They are just a person that does a job.

SorrowTheMad

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@Totalanimefan: Oh man, that's really awful, especially the response to it :/ I'm really sorry Total. I know this is incredibly tough for you but I believe in you and I know you can get through this :) I think I'd listen to your therapist. Anxiety likes to give you all these crappy voices in the back of your head that make you question yourself, but your therapist is an unbiased mediator whose job it is to help you.

I'd definitely try the dumb joke trick. Helps a lot. Even if it's a cringey dad joke or something, whatever will get you to laugh.

Amber Lynne

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| ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴘɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ!

@Totalanimefan: I prefer the cubes, myself.
Never really price chcked the bottles.

♫They say it's not the kids, the parents are the problem // Then if you taught the kids to parent that's the problem solved then!♫

My Youtube. I upload Tuesdays

Ping me. always

ALWAYS looking for art of my Characters
If you do art, PM me

KittyBeary

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"migikata ni murasaki choucho kisu o shita kono heya no"

@Totalanimefan: Yeah, it was a weird time for sure last year around this time. ;-;

I mostly lurk, but will post from time to time.

Wildfire

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-stops through-
Happy Tuesday :3

Totalanimefan

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@Wildfire: Happy Tuesday. Your avatar looks ready for summer lol
@KittyBeary: Yeah it was. One year officially today. What's the one year date for you?
@Amber Lynne: I don't know why I switched lol. The cubes are good because you know exactly how much to put in.
@SorrowTheMad: Thanks. I know now that the nurse and my family's response to it was wrong. What I was feeling was correct. But now I have to get over the fear and the trust issues and it's not fair that I can know now I was right but still have the fear lol

Wildfire

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@Totalanimefan: lol... Well, I am in Florida, and it has been hitting 80s*F lately...

SorrowTheMad

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@Totalanimefan: I completely understand. But that's why we have guidelines, so traumatic experiences like this don't happen, so it's ok to feel afraid of it. I hope someday you're able to overcome that fear :)

Totalanimefan

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@Wildfire: Only two seasons. Summer and not as summer but still summer.
@SorrowTheMad: Thank you. I hope so too!

SorrowTheMad

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@Totalanimefan: Of course! :)

Wildfire

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@Totalanimefan: we get winter... For a week or two... Usually.
And you forgot pollen season - which we are in the middle of. :3

┤▒├ Hangout with me! ┤▒├

Totalanimefan

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@Wildfire: Soon will be hurricane season.
@SorrowTheMad: How are you today?

SorrowTheMad

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@Totalanimefan: I'm doing pretty good thanks! Not doing a whole lot, I took today off. How're you today?

Totalanimefan

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@SorrowTheMad: Nice! I have a bird stuck in my dryer vent atm. I couldn't get it out.

SorrowTheMad

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@Totalanimefan: Uh oh! Poor bird! I hope you can get him out :(

Totalanimefan

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@SorrowTheMad: I couldn't do it myself so I had to call someone.

Totalanimefan

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So they were here but didn't have the right stuff to move the washer/dryer. So they will be back tomorrow and it will be $475 T_T Feck me.
Good news is that it includes fixing it and the mesh they put on they said has a lifetime guarantee. So I guess I'm paying for it to never happen again, but damn. Damn bird.