Jessamine's posts

I’m listening to Hospital Beds by Palaye Royale, my favourite song in Boom Boom Room Side B. :)

My art of Mark and Kieran in Dark Artifices:

Yum :) I like quiche, especially the mini bacon and cheese ones - i cook them in microwave and put in melted cheese bread.

Grilled chicken pesto wrap?

18 French toast.

Marmalade on bread.

@totalanimefan: Hi. :) I didn’t end up going to a disability supported workplace, even though I prepared very thoroughly with application of the general disability insurance scheme within the year we chat here about it in 2021, talking to my therapist, and contacting people of various providers. I also imagined me at the workplace with watching videos of potential providers, an upbeat dance atmospheric advertising of how opportunistic the workplace was. I was imagining myself talking to the people within there, and participating in activities like packaging. I was progressing in chatting to a provider, but then she stopped replying to me. :/ I was saying I didn’t want any suggested paths that led to more study, in a carefully crafted introducing of myself. She probably thought I was strange, and hurting quietly within my polite intro, so she is just leaving me alone.

I don’t take any medication.

I think I was okay after the second shot, and I got a booster shot in 2022.

12 French toast.

I’ve been colouring in my colouring books. I like sketching and colouring fully too. Yet I find this relaxing and slowing my heart at the moment. This girl is a rabbit assassin who kills with silent daggers in the night.

rabbit hearted girl.

I’m listening to the IndieAir channel, a compilation of soft tuned indie songs. It gives me a good feeling of nostalgic bop. Favourite songs are Awake at Night by Lowes, French Class and Good Liars by Blajk.

@justice: Hello :) I saw this thread and I can empathise. I have DID as well, yet I thought it simply anxiety and depression as well as a skull fracture or amnesia, or even intracranial pressure ( in which the latter made me hesitant to get a mri for a long time…as I read up on it, until I did eventually get mri ). This was from my many years of study and general living situation stress.

Roleplaying and writing stories and drawing also helped me during this time, as I could relate to characters in tv shows and books - a way to have hope in a long painful time, yet spidering my mind. When I was talking about flutterby dress item on here last year, a long time gap of posting absence, I was struggling really hard with my depression, and trying to reach out to a community that I felt happy in :) As I was feeling scared and lonely from all the mediation relational comm that felt like it was massacring me, with my roleplay PTSD trauma I mentioned here earthquaking in the most terrifying way.

I am becoming more aware of my surroundings in reality, by just not endlessly looking at relational comm/social media, and also listening/feeling more closely in writing and roleplaying with story drabbles to communicate my feelings. The trauma I experienced was very real, and i did feel like I needed to go to the p.olice about it, yet I am scared of them and scared of people in general for a long while.

Right now, colouring in my colouring books help, to feel the bleed in my brain of the straw void from overthinking and overworking, and same with the writing fulfilling story drabbles ( incl remembering/seeing relational comm more calmly ) and speaking to a friend of how I feel without always listening to music. Yet music and YouTube/tv can help to feel in calm understanding of what’s happening. And trying to trust myself that I can just live and be myself in the moment, within my organisation of healing from trauma. Feeling the furnace burning.

The part of you that is resisting the change could be that the hay silence is just very scary, and you need a strong mitigation of vices like you mentioned of drinking. It feels like a heater for your brain.

The minotaur in your avatar is very interesting, I like it :) It reminds me of Isi from Skam :3

I hope your app client for DID helps, as well as you chatting to people to empathise with :) I think they would believe you about your DID. I agree it is scary to lose time, and can feel frustrating especially when time passes by strangely fast, and you are still suffering so much. <3

No.6 is an anime, which I feel conveys this disorder well.

The strawberry ice-cream looks yummy. :) I like the creepy adorable style to your avatar, they hanging out at a haunted ice-cream place. :o The big eyed doll with cone legs is very scary xD

Z is for Zedd. I like his song Clarity. :)

Ezekiel from Supernatural/Bible. He is a very interesting angel, and prophet. I really love when he talks about wrath and compassion as he heals Sam. He is a Babylonian exile falling from heaven ; he could have met Gadreel in the garden of Eden — a storyline where they both survive.

Skyrim has really beautiful scenery, and I like the music too :) beautiful aurora colours of purple blue pink in the sky with trees. snow drifting down white snowed trees like lover’s kisses. billowing smoke steam rising from water like the horse merlin conjured. The fantasy premise is cool, with dragons in there, reminding me of lord of the rings.

I am writing/plotting a crossover of Skyrim & Game of Thrones with a friend, where her OC Maliina ( a violin warrior ) talks to Sansa, which is exciting & interesting philosophy of kindred spirit about dancers and warriors

I remember there wasn’t a great selection of character dress-up options though. :( it was similar to what I see geralt and other witchers wear on the witcher: a white shirt that is torn and brown pants.