Milkshake's posts
Posted in AITA? I moved. Should I call someone?
Posted 3 years ago
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TLDR; moved out of a hoarders house and feel better now, but feel kind of mean for it. I also am scared for her dogs.
So, my boyfriend and I were living with one of his family members and she was.. really emotionally abusive to people around her and had a LOT of issues.. money, hoarding, using her disability as an excuse for so many things, and just let her dogs use the potty EVERYWHERE.
It was a horrid disgusting situation and we tried the absolute best to make it better and it just didn't matter. The first month tht I moved in i had already helped pay a bill. I was buying myself food when I was coming over periodically and even kept doing so until I lost my job due to covid. So I let her use me for foodstamps until my boyfriend and I could get on our feet. But what happened was, we both got stuck caring for her instead of ourselves. He's been doing this for like, 4 years before I moved in (which was around 2yrs ago) and I guess so has his entire family. Helping her over and over with money or other things, mostly money though.
We would do doordash because that was our only way to get money (nowhere is hiring around here.. and if they are its ridiculously low pay and not worth it at ALL). She would ask us for our money to buy cigarettes / tobacco constantly because she ran out. Okay, fine whatever considering my boyfriend smoked a little bit we thought that was fair. But it got so bad. It was so often. She would smoke so much...
On top of THAT, remember how I said she was getting foodstamps? Yeah.. On top of her disability money. On top of her bills being extremely low to pay due to her disability. I know it isnt the most amazing amount, I was on SSI for awhile and it wasnt crap. But she also just..had so much help I never got. It infuriated me. Mostly because we would RUN OUT OF FOOD ALL THE TIME. Why? Oh, because she would buy ONLY SNACKS and ONLY MOUNTAIN DEW. Normally, like, ok whatever yknow its your money? but.. those were my foodstamps aswell!! My boyfriend and I would be stuck with having to rely on food pantries because she would rather buy 8$ potato skins and eat those for her dinner every single day along with her copious amount of junk food. My grandma (thank the gods for her bless her soul honestly) would send over food pretty often for us and every cookout would send her some food aswell. Basically, my boyfriend and I were responsible for any REAL food being in the house. She would blow extra money she had on fast food and not pay her bills.
On top of THAT, I went to help clean when i moved in. I wanted to make her feel better, and I even asked? I got b****ed at constantly for moving things around and trying to organize things. Yet if we didnt clean she would claim its all dirty due to everyone else and not her. Everytime I clean it would go back to the same nasty nicotine caked yellowness. The dogs (she has five by the way, used to have 8 but theyve died steadily) would pee and poop all over everything. Her room was full of trash under the bed. The bathrooms had diapers in the cabinets. I would set trash bags out for her to use and she just kept trying to fill the same one and it would topple over and I would have to clean it up. She would honk snot in the sink that we had to clean out. Any trashcan in the house would get filled up to the top and she wouldnt ask us to change it shed just pile more stuff until it was almost impossible to even change the bag. This isnt even scratching the surface of it though. I could go on.
I cried like, every single day. My boyfriend did his best too. We both tried so hard to get that house clean, to make her feel better.. its supposed to goto him eventually anyways so we figured thatd also be a factor to why we would want to get it together. It was a lost cause obviously, because we both got so tired we just stopped trying. Our room was so cluttered because she didnt let anyone move stuff in the other rooms (she had a spare and it was full of storage and trash.. we tried organizing so we could move stuff around and she got mad and basically thought we were stupid and were going to ruin her stuff). It really tanked my depression which sucks because I made a lot of progress with my therapist before all of this happened.
We just started doordashing super often to try and get a trailer. She eventually did a lot of the stuff (like picking up poop and cleaning her carpet) she said she couldnt do, and I was actually happy for her. I was going to say I was proud of her for trying. I did paint her dogs for her and did a few other drawings, yknow? I wasnt treating her badly.
Welp. She got angry with us. Said it "almost killed her" to do that stuff. Was being really disrespectful to my boyfriend about me. I lost it. I asked why she treats us like servants and was going to open up and talk to her 1 to 1 finally (she always asked me to and I refused due to the fact that im uncomfortable with this due to family abusing me over this in the past). She whipped around and was like "Im NOT TALKING TO YOU".. dude, hell. No. I went off and left. I tried so hard. I helped as much as I could. Its been hard getting jobs due to where we lived, its been hard to function as normal humans due to where we lived, we couldnt do anything for ourselves. Obviously we wanted to leave sooner but we couldnt. It was just.. so bad. We left. Other family members have come forward and said how nasty they knew she was and how horrible she is to be around.
We are living with a really awesome friend right now and trying to get on our feet. Both of us are indulging in our hobbies again and feeling much better. Having clean clothes. A clean room. A clean house. Someone to treat us like real people instead of servants. Both of us needed this move. I just wish I didnt have to get to that blackout level of anger. It doesnt happen often for me, and I feel really embarrassed about it. Shes the type that will act sweet and nice to everyone but shes really such a manipulative person.. shes still asking my boyfriend to do things for her and he has been here and there because she wont let me come into the house and get our things, so its taking awhile. Im much happier though and so is he. Im pregnant too, so we're really excited to start the next life chapter.
One thing that really bothers me though.. is her animals. Two died within the time I moved in, and one prior. She doesnt really have money to take care of them, two of them need dental care very very very badly and are in pain a lot of the time. The others are overweight as hell because she feeds them hotdogs rather than pet food. They get sick often, I would assume because of the state of her house. She fell asleep with a cigarette awhile back and almost killed the two that sleep with her, the room was filled with smoke and we had to save her and their lives basically. Shes unfit to live on her own and the dogs are definitely at risk. Should... I do something about this? my boyfriends sister helps her now, but.. it worries me about her animals.
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Posted in I am Proud of Myself
Posted 3 years ago
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@MoodyB: Thats great!! Its so good that he's supportive too.
Journaling has been a nice coping mechanism for me. I actually have two, one I write in when im upset and feeling horrible, and the other I use to counter-act all the bad and try to write good things in it. Admittedly been slacking on the good one though ^^;. Its nice to decorate them too.
Also try a hope box! I bought a plain wooden box from walmart awhile ago and some art supplies! I painted it, decorated it with glitter tape and a bunch of cute stickers, and then I put a bunch of items in it that mean a lot to me! I still need to actually keep putting things in that too ^^;;. But it helps when im feeling down. Motivates me to get moving sometimes, and other times gives me peace of mind.
Theres also an app called #selfcare that I use for my anxiety! It gives my brain something simple to focus on and my hands something to do.
Oh oh oh! and coloring! My boyfriend buys me coloring books sometimes and those are nice. I was hospitalized for awhile due to mine, and thats the like, only thing that I could do in there.
Sorry for all the advice blurbing, hope you can find some way to deal with this. Its really hard and im proud of you for taking this huge step <3! Im always here to vent to!
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Posted in Hobbies! What do YOU do for funsies?
Posted 3 years ago
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@CooperationIsKey: amoebas are soo cool ;w;! i remember learning about them in biology my sr year
i LOVE invader zim oh my gosh. I never was able to own one of those cool gir hoodies and its still on my wishlist, thanks for reminding me LOL. He was one of those things i doodled on my homework a lot when i was in school! jhonen vasquez is also a huge inspo for me. he also has some cool horror comics that i fell in love with! Which...actually freaked me out a bit when I was younger. Ill have to read them sometime again.
junji is realllly good at what he does, i was reading one of his mangas in my bathtub with a candle..had to turn on the light. its hard to spoop me, so i was kind of salty about it
even the anime had me checking my hallways! I think hes great because he doesnt NEED the over abundance of gore in his works to make me feel that sense of uncanny valley, which is a big fear of mine for some reason. Like, the rake? messssed me up. stiiiiilll messes me up.I would love to get into creepier types of drawing and sculpting but im always ending up making something pink and cute
! I finished acceptance in like two days i feel no shame. havent been that attached to a webseries since homestuck
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Posted in Hobbies! What do YOU do for funsies?
Posted 3 years ago
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@CooperationIsKey: I LOVE BORB ASADFG
i made a little pokemon oc and i liked it too much so here i am with a sprite of it and everything
yeah, it sucks. such a societal pressure to have nice teeth and good dental hygiene too, its something that people still make fun of unfortunately and it really bothers me.
oh woah, havent heard of those lol. I still need to finish like, 80% of the books on my shelf. I recently bought some Junji ito mangas though, and read them all like immediately, i even bought his art book. Guess im more inclined to pretty pictures nowadays xD
SAME. I love maud and lola, everyone has really nice character developement! All of the outfits are super cool too, im a sucker for unique fashion
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Posted in Shows You're Watching?
Posted 3 years ago
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ill finish naruto one day
lmao
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Posted in Hobbies! What do YOU do for funsies?
Posted 3 years ago
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@CooperationIsKey: Ooh yeah resin is so cool, its very vesatile and I see a lot of people on tiktok selling their crafts! Im the same way with being attached aswell. I went to go make an adoptable and got too attached to her soooo now shes mine LOL.
Yeah, I have been doing that slowly. Trying my best to get healthier, especially now that I have a baby on the way! Im terrified of chicken, so i almost never cook with it but its my favorite..
Im super unconfident in general of myself haha. Same here, though my friend group has made me feel better about that. (All of us have had depression pretty badly and its affected our teeth quite a bit ^^ good to know im not alone with that haha). I definitely want to do the 3d route, though it seems a lot more complicated, its what im more used to. plus cool movements!! itd be a really nice thing to make some extra money for if I can ever learn enough but im too scared ill end up making something subpar for someone xD.
Thats fair, lol. Im always like, "yeah ill definitely buy this thing", and then I have the money and im like MMMM maybe another time i could use this for something else. I totally want animal crossing too, it seems so cute and is such a self care game.
I still read young adult novels, its kind of hilarious seeing my big goth 21 year old self in the kids section at a library. Then again I guess im not that much older than the target audience for them. Divergent was nice, i actually loved that one. I remember little to nothing about the hunger games, lmao. Dyspotian society is right up my ally, so its weird that i hated it so much xD. My favorite books still have to be Ellen Hopkins books. Especially Crank. Cut by Patricia McCormick is good too. Guess i just really like books about things i went through..lol.
As far as comics, im reaaaally into acception! its on webtoon and such a nice comic.
I can talk for hours about things I actually am interested in! its totally fine! xD I have a hard time with small talk so this is the most ive actually talked to someone here in awhile
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Posted in Hobbies! What do YOU do for funsies?
Posted 3 years ago
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@CooperationIsKey: lol thats fair, i wouldve done the same had i gotten one xD. I really want to get into clay making, along with so many other things! Its my dream to be able to have a huge art studio in like, a trailer and travel around selling my stuff. Cooking is on the list too, but again so expensive!! I want to try a lot of yummy things, and switch over from eating meat entirely.. but it costs less to eat a burger than a salad here :{.
Having a lot of inspo for character design lately though, which has been wonderful! I need to get around to 3d, ive been able to do mikumikudance models with pre-made assets, but I would love to make my own vtuber avatar. Vroid is cool, but still sort of limiting.
Subnautica is $30, which compared to typical isnt too terrible but yeah games are still getting so expensive arghhhh. Im lucky my boyfriend bought it for me, hes the sweetest! I wanted the new RE, but i def cant afford that :C. I miss when $20 was the standard. I havent even gotten a switch to play the newer pokemon!! im upset about it lol. Hopefully I can find a job soon!
Yeah, its mostly comics right now. I used to be able to sit through like an entire book in two days, but cant sit and read for more than an hour anymore. and yes!!! gods the hunger games was not that good.. lmao. mostly hated it because i HAD to read it for school I think.
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Posted in I am quitting Voltra.
Posted 3 years ago
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this is incredibly frustrating to read considering these types of people are the kinds that i like to step on and ridicule. big yikes from me.
im learning towards leaving aswell, so i dont blame you. ive heard quite a lot of bs and experienced some stuff from staff members that i found ridiculous??
honestly... i just wish vozzy would look at who hes employing a bit better. I love him. Hes super cool. But ouch on the staff.. I havent felt welcomed here in quite awhile and thats why I am so inactive.
Im REALLY not trying to flame anyone, hence why I havent mentioned names but I probably will still get a warning or ban for even speaking out. That seems to happen here a lot. I dislike the fact that all this drama isnt addressed publicly. Hiding behind the facade that it doesnt happen really doesnt rub me the right way, because once these kinds of posts come out I always see it deleted and swept under the rug. Why wont anyone address this? Its like some weird monarchy. If im going to be part of this website, which i used to ADORE..i would like to know why posts like this continue popping up!!
I loved voltra at first. I really still do.. but its starting to concern me. Especially the fact that there are minors here that seem to be at risk. I was groomed as a child, ill be DAMNED if i let someone else be groomed on the same website that I go onto to feel safe.
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Posted in Hobbies! What do YOU do for funsies?
Posted 3 years ago
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i cant afford half of mine lol. I draw (wish I could have some actual irl supplies though so i just do digital rn), listen to music, game a LOT (loving subnautica below zero rn!), watch anime or true crime docs, horror movies, and ive just started reading again! I really have SO many itd take forever to list off
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Posted in [S] New June Crate Items! - Updated
Posted 3 years ago
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@Totalanimefan: can i get the cosmic hop<3
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Posted in The Surge: Summer Plasma Orbs!
Posted 3 years ago
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COSMIC HOP IS SO GOOD OMG
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Posted in NEW OUTFIT POG
Posted 3 years ago
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idk why but your avatar reminded me of arcus from the comic ''acception''.
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Posted in [B] Old Event Items
Posted 3 years ago
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I would also like a derby <3
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Posted in It's Not a Toy
Posted 3 years ago
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@MoodyB: yeah we get that aswell. its super infuriating. like, youre not better than me just because you have money. if anything, theyre always the worst people
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