It is 2am and I am still awake and shaking. Tonight my partner and I had a horrible altercation. In the end, police were involved and he left for the hospital and then to the police station for domestic violence. This took place in front of my 13 yr old.
My son is such a trooper and helped clean up the glass from the broken window. And pick up the mess elsewhere. We both are extremely sad and hope that he gets help for his troubles.
So now I sit here, literally picking up the pieces. I have an apartment to clean. And a heart to heal. I just pray he nor I lose our jobs. And I hope my son and I don't have to move because of the drama and now broken window.
I am not sure what else to say. This isolation is truly bringing out the worst in people. For those of you who do, I ask for prayers, good thoughts, heart hugs, and positivity for my son and I guess my now ex bf. Hurting people hurt people and I do feel as though he's hurting deeply.
Thanks for reading.
Always with love!
Forums Serious Talk Worst night in a long time.....possible triggers
@Xanthan: oh my gosh! That’s horrible. I’m sorry that you and your son had to go through that. No one should ever be abused.
I hope that your partner won’t be able to hurt you or your son again.
I see that you wrote your now ex-bf and I’m proud of you. Too many people go back to their abusers. You and your son are strong and deserve better.
@Totalanimefan: I read your comment. And you're so right. However, I don't want him to lose his job and I'm sure jail isn't being kind to him. I am extremely sad and hurt. There's still a lot to clean up but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to bail him out and hug him tight and give him a stern talking to.
I am so conflicted but so far I've simply cleaned and prayed. Thank you for the kind words and empathy.
I am so conflicted but so far I've simply cleaned and prayed. Thank you for the kind words and empathy.
I am glad you and your son are doing okay. There is no excuse for abuse ever. And I am glad you said ex boyfriend. You and your son deserve way better
@vengeance: it is ex for sure. I messaged his sister and mother simply to state where he was and needed help. Then washed my hands of it all. I need to make sure my relationships are ones I'd be proud of my son to mimic. Hugs all y'all.
I hope you and your son is alright and yes it is tough times for everyone especially when everyone is stuck in their homes. Family drama usually intensifies more around this time. And your son is indeed a trooper I'll be terrified around his age.
@PurpdaBurpPurp: this is stressful for sure for everyone. It does no good to focus on oneself and how isolation is affecting you when millions are going through the same thing. Sigh. I am so proud of my kiddo. He is a real trooper and very strong for 13. I've been truly blessed for sure. Just wish things hadn't played out this way.
@Xanthan: it’s good to have empathy but that doesn’t excuse his behavior. Everyone knows what he did was wrong and it’s something that he has to figure out on his own, without you.
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@Totalanimefan: very true. It just makes me extremely sad. I love him dearly ans will continie to do so...but I can't keep this back and forth. Smh my plate is full. I must tend to it first before I can pile on someone else's leftovers. Metaphorically speaking.
I know its been a bit since you posted this, I really hope you're doing okay still and that no one else got physically harmed. I'm also proud of you for stepping away from that person and I hope you can find the strength to move forward. With each day, after each sleep, I do pray that you find more peace with yourself and life with your son, who sounds like a wonderfully supportive kid.
@Jolly: thank you for the kind words. Right now I am still a bit emotional and in my heart and not my head. We have not spoken and I am not sure if we ever will again. I've been able to try and bring back some semblance of normalcy to our home, but my heart aches. My son is truly the greatest gift ever. He and I have talked about things and discussed appropriate actions and ways to resolve anger and differences. I am not okay but I will be. Today I made sure my son was as close to 100% as possible. Nobody else has been physically harmed. This community....yall have been a blessing. And I'm thankful to have been given a chance to learn about avis and voltra and meet so many supportive and caring people.
Much love! 💘
Much love! 💘
@xanthan:
I'm so glad to hear this <3
I've been a victim of something similar, but I was so fortunate that two friends of mine showed up to bail me out of the trouble. They gave me a root beer and some advil and let me cry in the back seat of their car as much as I needed to.
Friends and kind communities like this one are incredibly helpful when we go through tough times and our hearts ache. Surround yourself in that kind of wholesome care and bask in it. But don't try to cover up your feelings either, allow yourself grief, but always remember that tomorrow will be better.
I never once looked back and my tomorrow ended up much better--and safer. Just took a little time <3
@Xanthan: So sorry this is happening. I'm not sure i saw any posts from you before but, your partner went to the hospital or you?
I hope everything gets better. <3 I hate that people have to go through this kind of thing. It really sucks.
I hope everything gets better. <3 I hate that people have to go through this kind of thing. It really sucks.
@Jolly: thank you greatly. Sadly, I have been in a similar position before. It was much worse then however I didn't have a kiddo. It finally has sunk in that I am back to being alone. My son is asleep. I have no more glass to sweep up. No more areas requiring careful attention to cleanliness from the physical mess and the slashes of red which dotted the ground. My window has been meh somewhat patched at least for now. And I've run out of steam to clean. So I am sitting here. Wondering if he is ok. Wondering how he will deal with this all. And then it flashes....i am alone again.
Alone hasn't ever really been an issue for me. But the sudden realization of its presence hit hard. I've not needed to cry. I will grieve the loss of a relationship. Maybe down the road there can be a friendship. Time will tell. But I am able to make it through because I have to. I have my son. My animals. And myself that needs me. And I'd rather be lonely alone than lonely with someone. I had a friend come help me. She stayed 6 to 8 ft away but helped. We didn't hug or anything. I cannot raise someone's risk of infection just because someone else cannot resolve and deal with their anger in a healthier way. That hurt the most. But overall, I am holding it together. I am sure I'll have a mini breakdown at some point but for tonight I'm just grateful and that feels good.
Alone hasn't ever really been an issue for me. But the sudden realization of its presence hit hard. I've not needed to cry. I will grieve the loss of a relationship. Maybe down the road there can be a friendship. Time will tell. But I am able to make it through because I have to. I have my son. My animals. And myself that needs me. And I'd rather be lonely alone than lonely with someone. I had a friend come help me. She stayed 6 to 8 ft away but helped. We didn't hug or anything. I cannot raise someone's risk of infection just because someone else cannot resolve and deal with their anger in a healthier way. That hurt the most. But overall, I am holding it together. I am sure I'll have a mini breakdown at some point but for tonight I'm just grateful and that feels good.
@Lucifera: he went to the hospital. He busted out our living room window and required stitches. From what I could see without getting too close I'd estimate around 7 or 8.
My injuries....they were there but not nearly as severe. I have only posted this thread and one where he was heedless in thought and action and wanted to go and see friends and family in spite of the quarantine. That is pretty much what led into this issue. His disregard for any and everything but himself.
I get that this is not ideal. We are by nature social creatures. However we have the ability to choose our actions and which thoughts we allow to manifest. Where the mind goes the man follows. Sadly, some cannot put their mind out and away from themselves and see a larger societal and worldly picture.
My injuries....they were there but not nearly as severe. I have only posted this thread and one where he was heedless in thought and action and wanted to go and see friends and family in spite of the quarantine. That is pretty much what led into this issue. His disregard for any and everything but himself.
I get that this is not ideal. We are by nature social creatures. However we have the ability to choose our actions and which thoughts we allow to manifest. Where the mind goes the man follows. Sadly, some cannot put their mind out and away from themselves and see a larger societal and worldly picture.
@Xanthan: That's so crazy... Omg. I'm so sorry! Wish I could send you all the hugs (if you even wanted any, lol.) but unfortunately, all I can do is let you know my inbox is open if you ever need to vent! <3
But this is so awful, I'm so sorry.
But this is so awful, I'm so sorry.
@Lucifera: you're such a sweetheart. I appreciate the sentiment. My kiddo and I are ok. So are our kitties.....we have 4. With or without quarantine and with or without a bf life must go on. I am practicing having a more grateful attitude. Counting my blessings. And realizing that during all this, my son could have been seriously hurt. So there's always a silver lining. And just for the record, I was not a total pacifist and there came a point after things escalated that I did stand my ground but for me it still doesn't seem right. Like, how can you say you love someone and then hurt them? Anyways I'm off to bed. The fumes from the fabuloso and bleach are giving me a buzz jk
@Xanthan: It's always like that in these situations. It can be really shocking and hurtful. I just hope that ending things with this person helps you to be able to heal and move to better things. <3 Positive vibes and tons of adoration being sent your way!
Ping me for fast replies!
https://youtu.be/y4IF2WtkgtM
https://youtu.be/y4IF2WtkgtM
@Lucifera: very shocking. The ending isn't complete closure but it is an ending. :) every new beginning comes from some other new beginnings end
🌈
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry or invited a stranger to come inside?
🌈
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry or invited a stranger to come inside?🌈 @xanthan:
Feeling alone suddenly can be very scary when it hits. I usually fill that void by finding a bunch of youtube shows or streams to binge. I avoid movies cause they tend to tap into my emotions too much. But having a youtuber or streamer just talking at the camera/me can sometimes feel better than sitting around with no voices in the room at all.
I wish I could give you a hug and a pile of cookies.
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.