"......." Chris was silent as he beheld the woman, and sighed.

"I wondered if that feeling was you." he said.

"I prayed it wasn't." he said further, before pausing.

"But... I would imagine that God abandoned me a LONG time ago." he went on, not really seeming to care that she was there... but he was most certainly nervous, to say the least.

"I am not here on her behest." he told her.

"At this point, nothing I do will ever make her accept me back." he lamented.

"......I know." Chris admitted.

"But I had to hope. Against all hope." he said.

"And why? She... she loves me. Loved me." he told her, sounding sad.

"When someone loves you, they use you. And when you love them, you let them use you as much as they want." he continued.

"I guess... my usefulness was no longer outweighing my problems." he went on.

"And you don't get it. I wasn't just less than dirt! I was at least useful to her!" he then exclaimed.

"She kept me around because I was useful! And therefore, she cared about me!"

Chris looked her in the eyes, and she could see that certain things were at war inside him.

"But... but... but I volunteered to stop being a human, the beings she hated so much..." he said.

"I became a dark elf... so I could be with her..." he went on.

"I devoted my life to her. I know that everyone always just wanted me for my mana. I accepted that a long time ago. That was love." he continued.

"...but I thought that by going above and beyond... I would be more to her..." he said further.

"I loved her... she was everything to me..." he mumbled, tears in his eyes.

"I thought... I thought she could love me in return..."

"...." Chris was silent once more.

"....pathetic..." he said.

"I guess I AM pathetic..." he admitted.

"All I ever wanted was to be useful and loved." he mumbled further.

"I thought if I chose to stop being human, I would stop being pathetic in her eyes. And my own." he then admitted to Syraene, biting his lip.

"Damn it all." he said in a defeated tone.

"....huh?" Chris asked.

"Of course I did!" he exclaimed.

He then paused for a moment, thinking about it.

"I mean... well... I said... that I wouldn't complain about it..." he went on.

"When she brought it up, I was clear that I was open to the idea." he finished, seeming to stick to that story.

Chris opened his mouth to say something... but paused.

He was silent. It seemed like he was in the middle of realizing something.

"........" he couldn't find the words, and just closed his mouth.

"I..." he finally stammered.

"I... well..." he murmured further, before shutting up and just looking off to the side, clearly not wanting to admit that Syraene was right.

Not to her, and not to him.

"........" again, Chris was silent.

"J... just..." he stammered.

"Sh... shu..." he stuttered further, but seemed to be unable to finish what he was trying to say.

".....it doesn't matter." he finally got out.

"She threw me away. I am nothing now." he said.

"...I've always been nothing." he then 'corrected' himself.

"Was destined to be nothing."

'You are only nothing because you let yourself BE nothing.'

Those words echoed in Chris's mind after Syraene had left.

"......." he was silent as he thought about it, before looking away.

"I am her lapdog no more..." he said quietly, depression in his tone.

"....wait." he then said.

"....I am her lapdog no more." he said again, but with slightly less dejection.

After a moment of silence, she heard Sharp's voice.

"Come in." he said.

When she did, he sighed a little, seemingly swamped with some paperwork.

"Ah, yes?" he asked her when he saw her.

"How can I help you, Syraene?" he asked further, gesturing for her to take a seat.

"......" Sharp was silent as he heard that.

"Gemini mentioned something about that to me earlier." he said.

"...been wondering about it ever since." he admitted.

"Now... let me ask you something." he then said.

"Have you been to see him?" she asked.

Syraene nodded.

"And your opinions on him now?" Sharp then asked her.