Living Alone - Voltra Online

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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So over the course of the week, I've been considering to eventually move out to live alone. I won't be moving out for a long while due to i'm still figuring out job stuff[freelance artist]. But I just lately have been getting really irritated with the negativity, pessimistic, and judgmental attitudes
of my family. Don't get my wrong, I love them very much and they are not terrible people.
That being said, I think I've reached my limit. I'm almost 30 and I have never been independent. I can't drive, and I have a mountain of mental illnesses.
Not even my family i feel believes i could live alone, and living alone does scare me. But, I need my space. I share a bedroom and have all my life, and i feel my views with my dad's religion i just don't have the same views or agree with a lot of it and it feels it's crammed down my throat at every moment. I can't even say i want to watch a movie without him wanting to watch something religion related.

I just feel like im suffocating and currently my family's household is not at all ADHD/neurodivergent friendly. They know of my ADHD and my sister knows i am possibly autistic, but no one really keeps in mind of my mental health and limitations or they just seem to forget it all the time.
I constantly have to put aside my wants or things I enjoy doing just to do chores very often like cooking dinner and i honestly feel miserable.
I suppose what i want is advice for moving out in a conflicting household?
I don't know the first thing at even being an adult let alone independent adult.

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@neon: unfortunately it's highly unlikely for me to room with anyone. I only know family and I'm trying to get away from them ot at least set up boundaries. I know it won't fix everything but I just want to not feel miserable every morning or suddenly having to cook 2-3 different dinners with no notice and getting super overwhelmed XD

I'm not planning to move until income is more steady so this is not happening in the next few Years.

Aisukohi

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Make sure you can invest in insurance before moving out. Part of being truly independent is having something to fall back on in case something happens. Health insurance is a must in today's world, and I'm not sure what your options are depending on where you live, but absolutely start with that. Some health insurance companies may include dental and/or vision, so ask about those options. Also, because you have mental health concerns, look at your coverage options when it comes to mental health services.

It's not a bad idea to look into accident insurance, which essentially pays you for being out of work if you have an accident. Mind you, it usually won't pay your full paycheck, but more like a percentage of your income, but it's better to have some form of income than nothing at all. Long-term and short-term disability insurance work in a similar way, so that if something happens where you can't work, you have some means of income versus nothing.

Also look into property or renter's insurance if you're going to rent. Many places require renter's insurance, so shop around for that. It's mainly there so that if something happens to someone else while in your home, you're covered financially. Also look into personal property insurance, which you can use to protect your valuables. In the event that they're damaged or stolen, you may qualify to be reimbursed to replace those valuables.

Last but not least, if you're looking to have a pet with you, which I'm not sure if you are, there are pet insurance options out there as well.

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Aisukohi: yeah I'll have to look into those when I do move out.moving won't be anytime soon since I would prefer to just slowly prepare and work hard. there is a lot I feel I am going to need to figure out first.

insurance definitely will need. the one I am on tho doesn't cover dental or vision hardly lol.

I plan to get pet insurance.

@neon: yeah I don't make enough to even pay half of rent. thus is just a kind of long term goal and how I can prepare for it.

Aisukohi

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@MoodyB: Are there things you're unsure about now that you'd like more advice on? Not necessarily insurance related. Just curious. There are some affordable vision and dental options out there. Between the two, I pay less than 50 bucks a month for myself.

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Aisukohi: there is so much I don't know but I'm not sure with furniture when moving in since I'll have to get a new bed and such.

that's all I can think of right now lol

Aisukohi

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@MoodyB: Oh yeah, the bigger stuff can definitely be a pain. Perhaps when the time comes, you'll know someone with the muscle and/or vehicle you can have to help you move the bigger stuff, that way you hopefully save money? If you end up hiring movers, just keep in mind that more often than not, they're not on schedule. So remember to allow for extra time in case something goes amiss.

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Aisukohi: it's more so, do I order it before or after I move in I'm stuck on. like...I have no idea.
probably my dad and his friends can help that is if he won't hate my for moving out lol

I just feel guilty for wanting to move out.

Aisukohi

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@MoodyB: I doubt he'll hate you for moving out. Maybe feel disappointed, sure, but not hate you. All good parents want to see their children succeed in life, and that includes living alone or at least outside of their parents' home. If you're looking to buy new furniture, you can always ask the stores about how long it takes to deliver. In which case, you won't have to worry about having a friend with a good vehicle to transport lol. Worst case scenario, if your bed is delayed getting delivered, air mattresses aren't very expensive. Or futons, if you're into those. I think it's a good idea to keep those in your household anyway in case something happens to your bed, or you have company over.

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Aisukohi: yeah. I just don't want him to think I'm moving out as I hate him as I don't. I just need space from them lol

ahh okie. I will definitely keep that in mind!
thanks so much. means a lot to me for all the advice you've given me.

Purpsy

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This is not really an advice but as someone who's also dealing with the same current situation also.
I wish you very much luck! You can do this! It maybe rough for awhile but I like to think it will be worth it in the end.

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Aisukohi

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@MoodyB: You can always explain that you don't hate him. Some people are just like that--they need it spelled out for them, or they just need that extra reassurance, and that's okay.

And you're welcome! If you think of anything else that you might need help with, I might have some suggestions. And if it makes you feel any less intimidated, I've lived out of my parents' house for about 8 years now, and only 2 pieces of our furniture came brand-new versus pre-owned. A lot of it doesn't match, and I'm cool with that. Maybe when I have a lot more expendable income, I'll make the investment in matching everything, but I'm content with what I have for now. What makes a home is what you're comfortable with. <3

JosieOpal

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@MoodyB: if you can afford it, its defintely worth it, but it does bring up some new stresssers because then you are the only one that can clean up or care for the apartment/ house and that in itself takes alot of mental energy and focus (I have adhd and struggle with it myself) just know that it doesnt have to be perfect, it just has to be good enough for you.
even if you still have to asks for rides and stuff the independence that comes with being in your own place is so worth it. i wouldnt recommend roommates, theyre MORE of a stresser and can be worse than living with your family. If you can do it alone i would. (I know that in this current state thats not always easy or possible. If you do the roommate route, make sure you ask alot of questions on how they intented to keep up their space or about doing house work, and draw up a small contract saying like any damage done to your apartment or property allows you to kick them out immediately or whatever. and best of luck!)

blue

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Moving out on your own can be exhilarating just as much as it can feel overwhelming and a bit scary. But there's nothing to fear, especially if your adequately prepare yourself. Perhaps if you start by just browsing some apartments in an area you would like to live (assuming that you're going to rent). It's going to cost more and significantly limit your options if you plant to bring or buy a pet but at least seeing what's available and what the cost will be can give you a goal for saving enough money or ensuring that your work is paying you enough to cover rent and any affiliated expenses (utilities, renter's insurance, etc.).

Most of the little things you figure out as you go; furniture, etc.
While I can't recommend having a roommate, the benefit of having one is that you can split the rent and utilities. The downside is that they're another human being who come with all their own idiosyncrasies and it's a real grab-bag of what you get.

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@JosieOpal: honestly, the place i currently live is much harder to clean because it's so big.
So moving into a 1 bedroom apartment which will be much smaller, i feel I would clean it much better.
though at home we also have to pack away things in case my family does move at some point.

I will probably learn to drive otherwise i won't really know how i'd even get my own groceries XD
I don't plan to accept roommates. For now i just rather live alone and people give me major anxiety.

@blue: I've browsed some apartments but nothing really in my actual area looks good lolol.
only good apartments are within the area that gets tornados and is super far away. so i'll just have to check once in a while.
but i won't be moving for a good...4 maybe 5 years i presume.

But since the market keeps getting worse its a bit hard to have a certain amount of money as a goal since 1 bedrooms varies from $1400-1800 right now.
yeah i don't really want to have a roommate. Only roommate i want is a cat XD

@Aisukohi: Thank you! Yeah even at home i think the only furniture i have is a desk but it needs to be replaced as it's too short for me.
But i'm looking forward to getting furniture and adding it to my home.
I mostly want bright color furniture to make it feel more like me.

@purpsy: thank you i appreciate it and hope it works out for you too.

Aisukohi

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@MoodyB: Bright furniture sounds like it suits you perfectly based on your aesthetics here. I love seeing others' aesthetics that don't match my own. And you're welcome!

Goodbye, Voltra.
Feel free to add me on Discord: aisu9811

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Aisukohi: haha yes I really love Yellow so I'm so hyped to decorate.

JosieOpal

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@MoodyB: yeah the roommate bit is completely understandable, but for some, can be unavoidable. I wish you luck with it. it is totally worth it, and helps alot with mental load if you know what to expect. also paying rent at the end of the month instead of the first of the month will give you bonus points with your landlord. that why if you do hit hard times theyre more likely to be easier on you because you already have that "responsible" label on you.

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MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Alexia: as much as id love to just do it, its not quite that simple in my situation.

I probably won't be getting on disability. if I get diagnosed at all I honestly don't want to end up wasting money for a lot of misdiagnosis. which happens a lot with females with adhd. and in my state ill be lucky to get a correct one at all.
my biggest disability isn't even counted as a disability at all because it's not physical. I'm also not sure if I want to be taking medication for it yet.

I dont plan on a roommate as my family have Been my roommates and I just need my own place alone lol. having to cook for people more than 1 person right now is kinda driving me crazy.

I'm planning to drive it's a matter of if someone will teach me. my family drags their feet on everything. I'm very close to my family but they are way too negative.

my biggest obtacle is just making enough. I can't get a job outside of art so everything is up in the air lol. my family is a little controlling so it may sound how I can easily do things, but it's not as I'm going from dependent to independent. it's just going to take a lot of work on my part. and I have to basically hide things from them because I'm so sure they will disagree on me moving out. but I'm always getting criticism for my clothes, my job, my sleep habits, etc.

MoodyB

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『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Alexia: most I have figured out since its been a while since i made this topic. mostly telling them will be the issue

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