Xanthan's posts

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@Starlight: these still available:
Holiday Gingerbread Earrings
Photo Album
Unique Frizzhawk-
Delightful Festivities
Flags of the Nations
Lucky St Paddy 2k19
V-day 2K20
1.5k User Milestone
400k Milestone

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@Xenojiiva: timely manner still available?
and Ombre Afro
Ombre Cutie tails

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@koneko: it is a long slow morning however, I am up and atem ig
@0v7: hey hey hey

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@Dread Pirate: poison avi for the win. Things are good here. I love Arkansas' scenery. I just wish I could leave the house more.

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@koneko: morning. How do?

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@Dipper: my first ever piece of art of my avi. Thank you. I have this posted at my desk and workstation. I love it. Thank you so very much! I am elated

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@Crystalkitsune85: this is awesome! Great job!

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@wormy: so glad you joined us. :)

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@Dipper: I would love a scribble of my current avi. if you don't mind :)

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@DevilkinBoi: want me to send you one?

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@DevilkinBoi: i may have to go shopping when i get my next check and buy some more books to sit and collect dust while i reread books i have had since the 90's lol

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good morning good morning good morning

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@xvz: watch the youtube video I posted https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXCiv4sc5eY and it explains the marshmallow test. It is quite interesting to learn about. I haven't done much follow up on it to see exactly what the outcomes were for long term.


@DevilkinBoi: I have heard that is a neat series. I love the new avi btw.

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NO- Why we need to stop with all the YES!

The power of saying no is stronger than we believe. It is how to reclaim your life and it does it by reclaiming your time. All too often we are conditioned to say yes. This goes even deeper for women and girls who are taught to be there and nurture and give from an early age. This shows up in studies which state that women are less likely than men to take personal time, are more likely to spend lunch and breaks working on projects, and less likely to bargain at the table for a more appropriate salary when pitted against men of the same background and caliber.

From the Art of Saying NO:
No protects us from yes. No protects us from things that could hurt us. Saying no is an essential part of leveraging your time. If you have difficulty saying no, think about it this way. For each time you say yes to something, you are saying no to everything else. No does not have to be rejection. No combats the dangers of the word yes, it is a protective shield from the swords of yes. Most successful people in the world are not YES MEN. They say no.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtPRrn5nwAo

From the Discipline of Finishing:
Failure = Repeating the bad decisions Success = Consistency on good decisions Rule of success = Delay gratification! Be a person with these criteria :
1. Integrity: Say "no" to most things
1.1. Coherence between the diary and the values (the time you spend)
1.2. Mindfulness
2. Energy: Health, vitality and a bias to action
2.1. Deal with the next unit
2.2. One marshmallow at the time
2.3. Little steps
3. Intelligence: adapted intelligence (see the patterns and change the direction)
3.1. Describe the marshmallow (Diary)

Practical Tools to help you with each of these criteria
1. Integrity- Open their diary and count your hours. The coherence between a diary and your values is where your integrity lies. (When you track your minutes dedicated to tasks, you will know what your current value is and what you need to adapt in scheduling to allow enough time to for the values you tell your self means most to you. Be honest with yourself. If you say something means a lot to you then spend a lot of time on it!
2. Energy- Any task you do that takes time only allow your mind to see 15 minutes. Break and 15 minutes. Repeat and continue. (Deal with one step at a time, do not let your mind to jump ahead see the whole picture). Climb a mountain one step a time.
3. Intelligence- Write down everything. Write down your life and document yourself. Describe the marshmallow
Saying no more often to things, leaves more time for those things that you need to do to succeed. Otherwise you are living your life for others and never being able to get ahead yourself. You are too bogged down with the tasks of others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXCiv4sc5eY

From the Power of No:
Wielded wisely, No is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation. It often takes courage to say. It is hard to receive. But setting limits sets us free. No protects you from exploitation. It keeps you focused on your own goals. It keeps you true to your principles and values.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201311/the-power-no

From the Power of Saying No (Even to People You Love:
Say no to a lack of boundaries. Say no to inauthenticity. Say no to self-sacrifice and being a martyr. Say no to catastrophizing. Say no to draining people and situations.
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-power-of-saying-no-even-to-people-you-love/

Additional resources and information on why we need to learn to say no more often than we currently are:

The Power of No: Emilie Aries - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epAlxzmYyAE
Having the Courage to Say No: Katherine Mulski- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMxKNMCNv9I
Say No to Say Yes: Dr. Caryn Aviv- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iUag3c9HRc
Why People Pleasing Is Hurting You: Salma Hindy- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55HERZnmHT8
No, No, No, No, No, Yes: Gideon Amichay- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZScrNJ2gTQ