@Totalanimefan: Well in the first two pages alone in this thread you've said some things that don't exactly add up to this working out.
Like "He said that he thinks a lot about us living apart and that he would be better off being a bachelor again." In the very first post when you originally made this thread.
And I found this one especially memorable and went to look for it, and was shocked to find it in those first two pages: "they have been sleeping with each other since March, and it’s been ‘a lot’ of times. He doesn’t want to stay with me. He thinks that this girl is better for him than me."
That added with this one: "They have romantic feelings for each other and want to continue their relationship. So basically that’s his girlfriend."
I'm sorry honey, I just don't want you to be taken for a fool. A lot of times this kind of "re-connection" will happen after a cheating debacle and it won't actually change anything. Sure he'll say hes blocked her and removed her from his life, but if this affair has been going on for four months already, do you really think it's going to change? After everything you've stated in this thread alone, do you think he deserves that second chance? Because a four month affair with another woman in your wife's bed is not a one night stand at a hotel room.
Plus the post you mad above in reply to Flaria.... "Like you can’t sleep with my husband and then us still be friends." You cut off contact with the other woman but are willing to keep the cheating husband because he seems regretful now? Five months after the affair started and a month after being caught? Honey, he's not sorry for the cheating. He's sorry he got caught.
Ask yourself, and him, and her: what would have happened if you hadn't walked in on them? What kind of course would this have taken if you remained oblivious? Do you think he would have been regretful and ended it? Or do you think your husband would have a Mistress you were still unaware of?
Forums Serious Talk I’m so broken-We are working through our problems
@Anarchist Beauty: I know. I have thought about those things. I’ve been speaking with a therapist one on one about it for a few weeks as well. We have been a couple for 7 years by the way. We have been through many ups and downs before this and we have always work through it.
I also know that since things have been positive and we have been working on us, I haven’t been posting those updates. We have been working on what lead him to stray. What lead him to be weak. He told me that once he cheated he thought that I would never take him back so he tried really hard to accept that, not realizing that I wanted to work things out. I have been good to myself. Allowing myself to heal slowly and allow myself to be angry, hurt, crying etc. I have been writing down all of my feelings on paper that helps me.
The therapist said that this will be a honeymoon period. If we don’t fix what went wrong it will happen all over again. So I’ve been making sure that he works on what when wrong. And he has been. He signed us up for couples therapy as well as therapy for himself. We have been reading books on marriage that my therapist has recommended and how to overcome insecurities. He has a lot of them that I never knew about. He texts me regularly, he wants to hang out with me. He wishes me goodnight and good morning. He’s been cleaning and cooking dinner. (I have been too, but what I’m trying to say is that things have been even). He has been talking about our future together. Something he hadn’t done in months.
He doesn’t try to defend his actions or her actions anymore either. I have been healing on my own terms. I’ve been thinking about my future and how I want to benefit myself.
I know that you are just looking out for me because you care. I’m glad that you care. I’m so happy for every person that has posted in this thread. It’s been a long, painful road but I am through the worst of it and I’m on my path to healing! I’m happy to face the tough challenges ahead of me.
As for what might have happened if I didn’t catch them? Who can say. But from what I know she was just looking for a man that has always treated a women well (that person being me). And she was really disrespectful to him and they didn’t like a ton of the same stuff. From my therapist said and I agreed, the relationship they had wasn’t built on trust so it wouldn’t have lasted. She was just pretending to me my friend for two years. Waiting until the time was right to strike. From what I know she was the one that would comment behind my back saying that the house wasn’t clean enough. And why is she only a temp worker, she must not work that hard. And that I play too much Pokémon go. My sister and I had wondered why He was all of the sudden saying things like you don’t clean enough, and you play too much Pokémon go and you don’t have a career. It was seeds that she planted into his mind. She never said these things to me. She was pulling the strings on both me and my husband. And that DOES NOT excuse what he did! But it clears up a lot of the stuff that I was confused about in the first few posts.
@Totalanimefan: I do care and I just want you to be sure of everything.
I may not personally understand how you could even think about taking him back, but it's your life and whatever you decisions you make I want you to think over everything and be happy.
I'm glad you both are seeking therapy both together and separate, I honestly think that will help you both.
And as for therapy I have my own suggestion: get a new bed/mattress. And burn the current one.
And if ya boy screws up again, I'm coming for him.
I may not personally understand how you could even think about taking him back, but it's your life and whatever you decisions you make I want you to think over everything and be happy.
I'm glad you both are seeking therapy both together and separate, I honestly think that will help you both.
And as for therapy I have my own suggestion: get a new bed/mattress. And burn the current one.
And if ya boy screws up again, I'm coming for him.
@Anarchist Beauty: haha I have thought about getting a new one but I haven’t said anything to anyone about it yet. I really should.
@Totalanimefan: Girl, that's step one.
I would not tolerate that bed in my home any longer.
Tell ya boy "look, this thing going. I don't want it in my house, it's nothing but a reminder and if we're gonna fix this marriage we're starting here".
And the sheets that was on the bed at the time. Right to the incinerator!
I would not tolerate that bed in my home any longer.
Tell ya boy "look, this thing going. I don't want it in my house, it's nothing but a reminder and if we're gonna fix this marriage we're starting here".
And the sheets that was on the bed at the time. Right to the incinerator!
@Anarchist Beauty: I don’t remember which sheets or I would throw them out too. I remember that I striped the bed like two hours later and put a new set of sheets on. And yes. I am going to get rid of the bed. I just don’t feel like going mattress shopping. That fix sucks. Lol
But don’t worry. I’m going to get a new one.
@Totalanimefan:
@totalanimefan: I got my 12 inch thick memory foam matress of walmart.com years ago and I still love it to this day. And it was only $300 for a queen, delivered for free to my apartment! No going to any stores, just had to roll it out and let it poof itself up over a day. I want to say I got it about 6 years ago? They have a lot more options on the website now. <3
the one I have even cheaper now!
this one seems pretty nice but currently out of stock
there is also this one which might be my top pick It's only 10inches tall not 12, but it has the gel layer to help regulate body heat distribution while sleeping. I know I live farther south than you so this may not be as appealing to you but damn I am like considering buying one even though my mattress still holds up amazingly o___o
this one seems pretty nice but currently out of stock
there is also this one which might be my top pick It's only 10inches tall not 12, but it has the gel layer to help regulate body heat distribution while sleeping. I know I live farther south than you so this may not be as appealing to you but damn I am like considering buying one even though my mattress still holds up amazingly o___o
eeee ee eeee smoke weed everyday
(legitimately googled if this was pg-13 appropriate because I try to be a respectful stoner. So like you're welcome teenagers)
Working on a new signature.
PS-I LOVE PUGS
@Luffer Nutter: thanks! I’ll look into this. ^^
https://www.threads.net/@hannahfoll____
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@me
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.