Forums Serious Talk I’m so broken-We are working through our problems
@Totalanimefan: egad, San Fran. No wonder it's so freaking expensive. I'd rather live over here on the East Coast, anyway -- the cons are better. Then again, I'm biased. :vanora_xd:
@onsenmark: I think we all are cos I cannot even conceive of cons better than BlizzCon, ComicCon, E3, and Anime Expo >___>
@totalanimefan: Oh damn well the roommates know now... Have you talked to any of them? How do they feel?
@totalanimefan: Oh damn well the roommates know now... Have you talked to any of them? How do they feel?
@Luffer Nutter: oh know. Her roommates still don’t know lol and she still hasn’t even read my message on Facebook from Monday. My husband said that she said that she would talk to me. What a lying bitch, but we already knew that.
@onsenmark: I loved living on the east coast. I grew up there.
@Anarchist Beauty: thank you.
@Dread Pirate: oh sorry I didn’t see your reply. You are right I guess that it’s good that you guys know for that reason because it’s really hard for me to hear that question in real life. :(
@Totalanimefan: it's okay i am husband now -cuddles-
Dressed as goblins!
Do it all again!
See the friends all again!
Do it all again!
See the friends all again!
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
@Totalanimefan: along time ago, they had a punishment here in Europe: tie a horse on each leg and arm of a person and let the horse walk away from each other.
I told my brother about what happened to you and his only response was to do that.
So how are you holding up?
My shallow heart's the only thing thats beating
@totalanimefan: damn you are a better woman than me I would have told them fuck her XD
@Taffy: hey Taffy I came here and I am sorry about your situation but um if it helps for you just try to write three positive things about your self or day down everyday to help you mentally get better.
As for your situation....I think you should divorce him because if he cheated on you once then he would cheat on you again. I know you love him deeply but he doesn’t deserve you if he gave up on you like that.
@Tuijp: thank you to you and your brother. I actually slept well last night. And as I was falling asleep I wasn’t thinking about it, but then I was like you can’t just ignore what is going on in your life but I felt like I needed a mental break and so I was having trouble with that. But that’s on me.
My husband told the other women to back off while we work this out. (He still wants a divorce). She didn’t want to do that though.
Oh and the night before last we talked about the terms of divorce and he wants to give me a lot of money, and stocks etc. He said that he wouldn’t have any of that without me. I said I can see that you are genuine now, but how do I know that won’t change that she would won’t want some? And he said well it’s not her money. And he was very serious about that. To talk about that stuff was really hard for him. He still has trouble using the word divorce so we just say when this is done or when we separate. I told him that I should keep the dog. He started crying. He loves that dog but it was my cousins dog first, before it was ours.
I said well that’s the consequence of your actions and he nodded.
He said that he was happy that I was doing things for me, to better me. And he said that even since Monday he has noticed a difference. He said that in the future you will be able to find someone who loves you and then he was like oh wow that really hurts to say. I just gave him a look like how do you think I feel. Lol
@Luffer Nutter: haha I thought about that. But that sounds like a lot of work. I would rather just go around the house and throw away all the shit that she has given me as a gift. So I already through out the blanket she got me for Christmas that I loved. Then went straight in the dumpster. I didn’t even want to donate it. Cause it has bad juju on it lol
Last night I found some rings that she gave me pretty recently and I threw that shit right in the recycling.
I have to go and find the shit that she has gotten my cat as a toy and throw that shit out. Lol I can’t wait. It feels so good.
I also told Martin that she hasn’t even read my messsge that I sent her on Monday and he was really surprised. I’m sure that he has told her to talk to me about it because I asked for him to say that on Tuesday. So she must have told him that she would? I don’t know for sure I’m just going off this reaction. I have my first therapy session in two hours and I’m looking forward to it. Also I want to get my haircut.
@Roshan: Hey, thank you so much. That means a lot to me and I have been telling myself about what I like about myself but writing it down is a get idea. I like look at it later and when I’m feeling down.
I do love him deeply, but we are going through with this. It just takes a lot of time to go through and it’s only been 5 days. We have talked about the hard stuff like money, and where I should live, in the Bay Area? Outside of the Bay Area? Etc.
As soon as he said that he had romantic feelings for her, I lost a lot of love for him, and a few hours before he told me that I said that you can’t date too girls. I won’t stay if you pick her. So I do still love him, but I loved him a lot more before he said he loved her.
Tomorrow is our 5 year wedding anniversary and I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow. Before Monday I was going to surprise him with a wedding ring that matched mine, because when we were getting married we were too poor to get both rings to be made of gold, so mine is gold and his is a cheap and it hasn’t fit his finger for a while. I planned this all like months ago. So yeah.
He is still wearing his ring. And he still plays with it like he always has. He just seems lost and he’s going through a midlife crisis for sure. I know that he is going to regret this, but I’m not going to try to stop him.
Thank you to all of you for posting here and giving advice and checking up on me. It’s a lot that I wrote. Please feel read to read all posts in this thread so that you know the whole picture.
@Totalanimefan: well it sounds like you have a really good plan going on and therapy is really going to help you through this in my opinion because none of this is your fault. My therapy helped me a lot. If a hair cut makes you feel better than I say do it! And I say pawn or return that ring if you already got it and use it to treat yourself to a spa day on your anniversary!!
But yes that is the point of the excersize. To have it written down so that you can look at it when your super depressed to help you realize how good you are and things are for you.
@totalanimefan: yesss I always change my hair after a split! Makes me feel refreshed <3 How was therapy?
@Luffer Nutter: hey hun, therapy was great. I really connected with her. She was nice and truthful. She said that he has a problem with narcissistic behavior, and that he was feeling insecure in the relationship and that’s what lead to this. It wasn’t anything I was going. He was putting the blame all on me. I was a good wife. The therapist said this all must be really hard for me but she can tell that I am strong and that I’m very emotionally intelligent and emotionally adaptive. I was so happy when she said that.
Mostly during it I just telling her about everything that happened since this was the first time.
@Roshan: I believe I can still take the ring back lol I’m going to. Also please read the above for how therapy went.
@totalanimefan: that is good to hear! How often are you going to be going?
@Luffer Nutter: once a week but we haven’t talked about which day.
@totalanimefan: okay good that will be a nice steady schedule then :) DO you have any idea when you will no longer be living with he who shall not be named again?
@Luffer Nutter: not sure. I’m starting a new job that is full time and in the Bay Area. Also divorces take a long time to happen but we could live apart during that time. It’s just too soon to know
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@totalanimefan: yeah I understand it is all very fresh. But I found having something in my face makes it hard to move on yanno? How long is the lease on your apartment? I would assume definitely nothing before then
eeee ee eeee smoke weed everyday
(legitimately googled if this was pg-13 appropriate because I try to be a respectful stoner. So like you're welcome teenagers)
Working on a new signature.
PS-I LOVE PUGS
neko says; I am so, so sorry to hear that @Taffy:
I really am.
I honestly think you should drop them both.
sell me rigs please♥
@Totalanimefan: yay! *hugs tightly* I am soooo happy for you! That is what I am talking about! See even your therapist knows he is the one with the issues and that it has nothing to do with you!! This is so good for you and know we all completely support you in this new change in your life!
Questing: 
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.