Xanthan's posts

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@milkshake: no need to apologize nor justify. Xbox or not there's no need for vitriol and venom. And remember tears mean you're healing so let it out and be not ashamed for it. It just shows you've evolved. Hit me up anytime. Strong people are meant to lift others up...if they cannot they at least shouldn't go around poisoning them. :)

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@Jolly: Something bright or happy. Spread light into the world. Keep it clean and simple. Maybe purples or yellows. My son and I painted recently and our living room is now yellow and purple and it is so beautiful and bright and cheery. Help to fight all the negativity currently out there.

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@milkshake: sadly you're not alone. Twitter houses hate just like every other online forum. And just like in real life. We must learn which voices and comments to listen to and to give value to. I can remember things said to me before about my weight. It is amazing how much social value I seemed to have once I was losing weight. But the weight loss wasn't intentional. I just left a stressful job and next thing I know all that stress and emotional baggage began to come off my shoulders and my mind and then my weight dropped. Of course, everyone thought i was on drugs. Then I invited someone into my life. I loved them and held them and protected them from life and their own demons and past. It was met with that person literally laughing at me, not even 10 ft away as I bared my soul and tried to talk to them and was in tears. Laughed while I cried. That was followed by multiple times them encouraging me to self harm or just kill myself. That pain still runs deep. It haunts me. But my choice not to self harm or give way to my razor blade and ashes does not haunt me. There is no number in this world which can define my worth. My value isn't found in my waist, my height, shoe size, IQ or any other numerical relation. It is found in my head and my heart.

You see, who I was when I first moved back home to start over, is the same person who was 100lbs heavier just a few years before. So all those who had time for me cause I was thinner.....no I don't have time for those kind of people. Those who couldn't make time for me when I needed them the most.....nope no time for them either. I am gold baby and so are you. Sadly in this world most people never recognize this. Just pass on by all those fools who just don't know, who are too busy, or too careless to notice when gold is right in front of their face. Those are the people who get caught up with something a little shinier. A little sparklier. But they are also the one's who learn why it is called fools gold. It looks a little flashier at first but that's all it is is flash in the pan. Real gold takes someone who knows what to look for and knows that with a little care, their nugget will shine brighter and hold much more value than someone else's fools gold.

You're perfect. Today. As is. 100% no question nor doubt about it. If you like your make up then wear it how you like it. How you want it. Rock it. If you want to defend someone cause it is the right thing to do then do it. That person probably feels alone and saddened and is appreciative for the helping voice of someone else. You may have saved a life. But in the end, you do you for you. Because when your head hits the pillow at night, and it is just you and your thoughts. You are the only one who has to answer to you. So go out there, so something today to make yourself feel proud and empowered. And to hell with anyone who says or tries to tell you otherwise.

Be blessed. Stay true to you. And remember you're gold!

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@Totalanimefan: something similar happened to me. I have tendonitis in both arms. Finally on steroids. Make sure to ice it, rest when you can, elevate it. And keep range of motion.

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@0v7: a visual artist I am not but should the occasion arise I'll remember hand butts are 100% a thing :)

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@LilMissKushy: that sounds like a helluva good time to me. I'm so glad you got to celebrate in one form or fashion. You're so blessed to have family around. Nearly all of my family has passed and then well I don't have the greatest record with guys so....eh it is just me and my son.

Today has been good but trying. My ac is messing up. I fixed it a little to get by until maintenance shows. My son and I have been painting our apartment. No more paneling and bring on the yellow and purple. Lol we did some shopping off the fb marketplace for new decor. And I finally got around to buying what I needed to fix the marks, the broken, and the demolished items from when my ex would get angry. It helps just seeing a light switch cover where once there was none because he threw things and smashed it.

On a different note, I have someone special who is having a birthday soon and Idk what to do for them. It is someone I'm close to and I mean we probably should socially distance more than we do but again Idk I need to think of something.

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@0v7: omg looks amazing......xanny needs now lol and lol at the drawing of hands = make a butt lol

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@0v7: Happy Birthday! Did you post pics so I can live vicariously though you lol

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@LilMissKushy: the heat and I have never seen eye to eye. It is miserable. Happy Birthday though :) a quarantine bday is a safe bday but probably not what you ever had in mind. Maybe you can face time friends or family to stay connected and celebrate? Garden games sound like a lot of fun. I am painting my walls lol

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@Kingslowpoke: that is awesome!

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@Bonnie: keeping a decent or even regular schedule can mean the world to your body and mental health both. What's got it off kilter?

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@LilMissKushy: tell me about it. I cringe when I think of the temp and humidity. It makes my fat cry jk

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@DevilkinBoi: you're no fun lol :p

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@0v7: why? Why must you do this to me? Now I want sush pronounced soosh lol I did get cheesecake and am having coffee