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Forums General Chit-Chat To see or not to see...that is my question! TL;DR

Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/31 18:08:53 )
So here's my predicament. I am a death worker. I work for an embalming agency. I go in and out of hospitals, hospices, rehabilitation places, and even into people's homes I speak with families, I remove the deceased, and then I transport them to either be embalmed or cremated. I take pride in what I do and the role I play for families during this time and transition. One Hazzard however, is that I'm in and out of these places during a pandemic. I have come into contact with people and places that may or may not be contaminated but it's my job and I do it. I take every precaution I can and I treat every case that I get with the utmost respect care and diligence.

Outside of my work I have a 13 year old son. I also have a wonderful boyfriend. It pains me to know that we all have to stay cooped up inside currently for the most part. I'm sure it's driving everyone crazy and for some at the very short drive LOL but I also know that when all is said and done I am on the front lines when it comes to this pandemic. It pains me to know that I am more likely to encounter this than many others and that's I'm more likely to bring it home to my family. That knowledge gives me the drive each and every time I go out to make sure I'm washing my hands sanitizing wearing protective equipment Etc.

Now my boyfriend wants to go and visit family and friends etcetera and that causes me concern. It causes me concern because each and every day I go to work, I might be bringing something home. also if he goes somewhere else he might inadvertently get something and bring it home or he might get something from me and then take it with him and get other people sick.

So I guess my question in the end is are my concerns valid? And these times I don't want to be a fear monger and I certainly don't want to come across as someone paranoid panicked or delusional if you will but I won't even let my son go see the rest of his family and they live just right across town. Thoughts? I'm open to any suggestions and opinions to help ensure that I'm looking at this through legitimate eyes and not rose-colored glasses.
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/31 18:37:55 )

I would stay indoors. My government is telling people not to visit family etc. It just isn't worth the risk.

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Voltie — kotetsu Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/31 18:43:15 )

limit contact as much as possible -- if enough people start thinking like that and going out here and there the spread will get worse. act like as if you have already been in contact with it, better to be cautious than sorry.

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Donator — She/her Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/31 19:28:15 )


You are right to feel cautious. You could get sick and/or spread it to your family. I know it’s hard but try to limit the time you spend with them physically. Do it over the internet for right now. Did your boss give you any advice?

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Donator — Voltie Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/04/1 15:41:32 )
It's a tough situation.

I think you're absolutely justified in being concerned. Acting like you already have the virus is the responsible thing to do but social distancing is only at least 6 feet away. If y'all need to meet people in person, it's possible but so awkward you might as well just call.

On the olde other hand, being family means accepting their diseases. Ew! Here's a thoughtful article in the Atlantic about family&coronavirus. It might not contain anything you don't already know, but you might find some other insight in it none the less.
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Donator — Fluffywuff Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/04/1 16:06:03 )
@Xanthan: Don't do it, dude. I know it sucks, but don't do it.
When all of this blows over, your family and friends will still be there for you. (god willing)
It seems long, but it won't last forever.

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Donator — she, her Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/04/1 16:24:15 )


Would you be able to see them via video chat?
I’d express to them your concern for your own family and their health and that it’s a tough decision but you’d rather everyone involved be safe.


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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/04/1 18:42:17 )

You have every right to be concerned. Right now is not the time to visit friends, family etc. And if he was dead serious about the virus he would think the same.
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Donator — Frog bless Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/04/1 19:16:35 )

There's a big difference between doing your job (which is essential and not everyone can do it) and visiting friends and family. I know it sucks to not visit people, but the less contact your family has with others the better for everyone. You are taking every precaution to protect yourself, but is your boyfriend? what about his friends? Plus with the wonderful technology we have in this age it's easy to stay in touch with friends and family remotely than ever before.
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Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/04/2 00:14:51 )
The fact my job is risky and putting my family at a higher risk gets brought up. My job is essential. We cannot have those who have passed on simply sitting around. Eventually storage areas will be crowded and overflowing etc. I don't like the fact I am putting my son and bf at risk, but I'm proud that I'm able to help society as a whole.

My bf is worried about depression etc. Doesn't think he needs to wash his hands at home etc because he doesn't have the disease. I'm just floored. There's a video, scientific video which breaks this down. I do not see my friends. Today I sat in my car and spoke with a friend who stayed on her porch because I didn't want to come closer but I hadn't heard from her in 4 days. I needed to check on her but I refused to get close.

I love my family. I love my job. But I cannot in all fairness and social consciousness put myself before the larger group of society. I understand the anger and frustration. I don't understand uselessness.

Thank you all for the feedback. Hopefully he will come around. Sadly I think I'll just end up the bad guy in all this.

Big hugs and with lots of love
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Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/04/2 00:27:42 )
https://youtu.be/fL-H0h9Pi_A this video is one that I feel every single person needs to see! I don't wanna be 1 in 50 or 49 in 50 and i don't want to add to the doctor's problems. Ijs
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