I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday, who is happy with the progress I've made since I started treatment. About a few months ago, she had a meeting with my mother and brother to discuss their behavior regarding pushing me into things. I don't respond well to pressure(if I could change that, I would), especially family pressure. They constantly bring up how I need to get a job, that I'm using my anxiety as an excuse, etc. I have filled out applications left and right, but have yet to receive a call for a job interview. They call me unemployed despite the fact that I have a freelancing job at the company my dad works for(6 years and counting). To them, unless I handle customers directly, it's not a job. Last night, a "family" talk happened. I quote family, because these so called talks are always focused on me, how I have to get a job, that I can't avoid it, anxiety excuse, blah blah blah. I've been doing what I can to find a job, but it's not enough for them. Now, about my brother. In the talk, he went on about how I only play games when I get home from my classes and whatever errands I had to do. It was extremely unfair on his part, because for the past two weeks, he hasn't been going to work at all. Just staying at home, playing video games all day. Do you think my mother brought it up at any point? Nope, because I'm the problematic one. I've had to act as his secretary because his coworkers have been asking about him and he refuses to talk to them at all despite their worries. Yes, I know I should speak up, but every time it happens, I just freeze and the voice in the back of my head comes back with a vengeance. Afterwards, I locked myself up in my room and cried for two hours. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for a long time, though I've never made an attempt on my life. Something always stops me. What it is, I don't know. I have considered moving out, but without a stable income, it's not easy. None of my other family members or friends have any space for me either, so I'm stuck living with the two of them. I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be, but their attitude is just draining me. Anyway, sorry for the long post... Forums Serious Talk Just Need To Get Something Off My Chest
I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday, who is happy with the progress I've made since I started treatment. About a few months ago, she had a meeting with my mother and brother to discuss their behavior regarding pushing me into things. I don't respond well to pressure(if I could change that, I would), especially family pressure. They constantly bring up how I need to get a job, that I'm using my anxiety as an excuse, etc. I have filled out applications left and right, but have yet to receive a call for a job interview. They call me unemployed despite the fact that I have a freelancing job at the company my dad works for(6 years and counting). To them, unless I handle customers directly, it's not a job. Last night, a "family" talk happened. I quote family, because these so called talks are always focused on me, how I have to get a job, that I can't avoid it, anxiety excuse, blah blah blah. I've been doing what I can to find a job, but it's not enough for them. Now, about my brother. In the talk, he went on about how I only play games when I get home from my classes and whatever errands I had to do. It was extremely unfair on his part, because for the past two weeks, he hasn't been going to work at all. Just staying at home, playing video games all day. Do you think my mother brought it up at any point? Nope, because I'm the problematic one. I've had to act as his secretary because his coworkers have been asking about him and he refuses to talk to them at all despite their worries. Yes, I know I should speak up, but every time it happens, I just freeze and the voice in the back of my head comes back with a vengeance. Afterwards, I locked myself up in my room and cried for two hours. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for a long time, though I've never made an attempt on my life. Something always stops me. What it is, I don't know. I have considered moving out, but without a stable income, it's not easy. None of my other family members or friends have any space for me either, so I'm stuck living with the two of them. I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be, but their attitude is just draining me. Anyway, sorry for the long post... 
That sounds like a really difficult situation. =( I'm sorry you're going through that. Does your psychologist have any advice for you regarding this? Maybe some group counseling with your family?
Regardless I hope things improve for you soon.
Mallow
TumbleweedMy Sons
@Priestess of Pie: She's tried getting in touch with my mom to discuss my situation, but my mom either doesn't answer, isn't available or just plain doesn't want to talk. The whole meeting with them felt like it went in one ear and out through the other. Psychologist tells me to focus on my successes, but it's getting so hard to do so when all they focus on is on what I haven't done. 
TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)
@LordLucre: I’m sorry you’re living in such a toxic home environment. ): Tbh, I don’t think your mom or brother are going to change... my parents (and entire extended family) is the same way when it comes to mental health. It’s either a generational or cultural thing that they just don’t understand it and/or refuse to accept that high anxiety can really hold you back in life. Usually people are asked to look to their family for support when they have it... but it’s harder when that family refuses to offer any and invalidates your anxiety.
My therapist already knew talking to my parents would be hopeless, and told me to focus on me because they’re just another source of anxiety if I give them too much thought. So for now, focus on you. If they try to give you crap, just shut them out mentally (don’t say anything, make eye contact, or have any reactions) or walk away each time they want to sit for a “family” talk. I really hope you can get away from your mom and brother one day.
(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE
@Tsundererra: I've calmed down a bit and got an invite from a friend to celebrate her birthday, so I'm accepting the offer. I need to get away from them just for a bit and be able to clear my head. 
@LordLucre: I'm sorry youre going through that shit. I kinda understand where youre coming from. They just dont understand how you feel because they arent in your shoes. ive been struggling with holding a job too. Makes me feel useless. Especially when my dad mentions it or my fiancés mom. I have seizures and extreme anxiety surrounding it because I'm scared of having one on the job..because it has happened to me a few times...and it really isnt pleasant. And quite embarrassing. My fiancés mom thinks its about God. [Whom I dont believe in] but she insists my issues stem from not being close to god? And she says my seizures are all in my head and I can control them because theyre stress related. Wrong. I cant control them. I have ptsd and it wont go away. No amount of therapy ever helps. And i can't control my stress very well. Mental health does seem to be an issue that a lot of older people dont seem to grasp as well?
@Laufeia: Yeah, to them, my anxiety just isn't serious. I haven't had any panic attacks lately, but that's because I've avoided the things that tend to cause them. I'm trying to focus on my studies since I'm taking concentration classes(which require a lot of my time and effort), but they want me to also do my errands, any of their errands that they can't do, help around the house, etc. :/ I can only do so much. I can't clone myself and send them off to handle things.
@LordLucre: it is a lot harder to understand something you cant physically see. So they may never understand. Just try to communicate your feelings when you can and whatnot! Im not good at doing that either. Lmao. I know even every day things can be tiring when your have bad anxiety. Wish I could get rid of mine. Hopefully your psychologist and their wisdom is helping you through this a little! >~<
@Laufeia: I texted her about what happened and she said to focus on me, to not let their words derail me. So I've calmed down a bit, what with my dog demanding my attention. TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)
@LordLucre: I’m glad you’ve calmed down a bit since writing your post. Going out to celebrate your friend’s birthday is definitely healthier than staying at home. :) Please enjoy yourself and keep your bro and mom faaaar from your thoughts.
@Laufeia: Seizures are hella scary, I’d have anxiety surrounding that if I was prone to get them too. >__> I agree that older people don’t seem to understand mental health... and it’s worse when they think having faith is the solution to protect you from mental problems. Your fiance’s mom sounds like my fam... I remember telling one of my aunts to take my cousin for a psych evaluation because he was 4 and couldn’t speak or acknowledge anything you say. He wouldn’t even respond to his name. Immediately my entire fam was like “It’s a sin for you to say such things about your cousin. God forbid something like that happens to us.” :T Like yo, it’s prolly a bigger sin to not acknowledge and give help to your special needs kid, but ok.
(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE
@Tsundererra: I didn't know if she was going to do anything today, so it was surprising to receive an invite from her. I'm glad I got it though. TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)
@LordLucre: Your friend saved you and she prolly doesn’t even know it. Are you going to go present shopping for her? I’m glad your fam didn’t dampen your spirit so much that you don’t feel like going out.
(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE
@LordLucre: Sorry to hear you are dealing with such family. I also don't think they are ever going to change. Just try and think about you and only you. Does your friend know about this? Or atleast some part of it. That way when you feel upset with family again you can text your friend.
I also have have totaly not great parents. I am jobless right now and ages back I was also jobless. Mom back then wanted me to go back to school to study something else. I told her then I did not want to and also told her why. She refused to listen and told me I was stubborn. When at the same time she also mentioned "You know we as parent's respect your wishes".
@Tsundererra: I'd have to think of what to get her... xD I recently got her a Bayonetta amiibo she couldn't find anywhere.@vengeance: Yeah, she's up to date on what's going on and she isn't pleased with their behavior. My dad is supportive and doesn't push me into anything, but my parents are divorced and they don't get along very well.
TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)
@LordLucre: You should give that Bayonetta amiibo to her only if she’s a close friend and you don’t mind giving it away. You could always pay for her birthday meal/birthday cake if you’re eating out. :3
(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE
@Tsundererra: Oh, I did give it to her. She was really happy when she got it!
Lucifer's Pet
@LordLucre: That's atleast good to hear. And also good to hear that your dad is supportive.
@LordLucre: i mean that seems like pretty good advice. Focus on your sweet little doggie!!!
@Tsundererra: yeah <~< it is scary. I'm mostly scared of hitting my head on something hard. Done that too many times. XD and oh man, his aunt is like that too. Pretty much his whole family. His mom makes every waking moment of her life about Jesus. No matter what we talk about she finds a way to bring jesus into it. xD. My brother is on the autism spectrum and she wrote a prayer to god to , and I quote, "cure his autism"..because I guess god can do that.Lol.
Did they ever evaluate him? Its better to do that when theyre young..they didnt even know my bro was autistic until he was like 9 or 10. They had him on all these bad drugs. Just not good at all..
@Tsundererra: yeah <~< it is scary. I'm mostly scared of hitting my head on something hard. Done that too many times. XD and oh man, his aunt is like that too. Pretty much his whole family. His mom makes every waking moment of her life about Jesus. No matter what we talk about she finds a way to bring jesus into it. xD. My brother is on the autism spectrum and she wrote a prayer to god to , and I quote, "cure his autism"..because I guess god can do that.Lol.
Did they ever evaluate him? Its better to do that when theyre young..they didnt even know my bro was autistic until he was like 9 or 10. They had him on all these bad drugs. Just not good at all..
TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)
@Laufeia: I’d be scared of hitting my head or falling hard too. I’ve heard about someone biting part of their tongue off during a seizure too. T~T I hope there’s a way to stop seizures from happening one day, but I know that’s not going to happen by faith healing.
Oh man, his mom is literally my mom and all of my aunts. >__> One thing that really irks me about my religious family is that they go on about how wonderful and powerful god is, but omgggg they lie, shit talk others, and cheat whenever they can. It’s sad when I’m not religious at all, and I can say I know I’m a better person.
I don’t know if he got evaluated... I cut off most of my family a short while later. /: My mom only talks about his “normal” older siblings, so I’m wondering if they‘re hiding him out of shame now... He should be a teenager by now.
Omg, good luck marrying into that family. xD I can’t believe she asked God to cure your brother’s autism. People need to stop demonizing autism like it’s some horrible disease and get educated. /:
(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE
The truth behind Reaping Ritual 2019
Art by the rightful Mayor, Kiwi
@Tsundererra: lol yeah..like I believe in good vibrations and feelings and stuff but im pretty sure my adult brother will never stop being autistic. As much as ive wanted him to just be more normal sometimes..because he can be hard to handle...thats just who he is. Cant pray the autism away. >_>....I laughed so hard because its one of the most absurd things ive ever read.
And yeah..a lot of people thing you need religion to have a moral compass...though ive found it doesnt matter what you believe in..if youre an as whole, you just are. <_<
But I'm used to it. My family is religious too..but a little more tame. >_> this bitch crazy tho
And yeah..a lot of people thing you need religion to have a moral compass...though ive found it doesnt matter what you believe in..if youre an as whole, you just are. <_<
But I'm used to it. My family is religious too..but a little more tame. >_> this bitch crazy tho
You must be logged in to post
Login now to reply
Don't have an account? Sign up for free!
Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.