Hey guys. Before all this happened my life was going pretty well. I had a full time job that wasn't retail, living with my husband and we could afford our bills. I have two wonderful animals I love very much, I was happy and knew it too.
But now I feel like the stress of life is getting to me. One of my aunts has cancer. She had it really bad last year, beat it, but now it's back. :( She's going through so much and she is so far away from me, I'm in California out here with no family, and the rest of my family is on the East Coast. I try not to let it get to me because I can't do anything about it, but then I feel guilty about trying to turn off those negative feelings, whether I think about it or not it's happening to her, turning a blind eye doesn't help anyone either. I am going to see her for Thanksgiving. Tickets are already bought, and it will be my first time seeing her since my wedding almost 4 years ago.
Now, the things more closer to home. My husband rides a small scooter in the bike lane to and from work. We only live 2 miles away from his work and we don't want to pay for an extra car when we tend to do everything together except work. About 10 days ago a lady in a car hit him at a low speed while he was on his scooter in the bike lane. He landed on his right foot and then fell over. The lady asked if he was ok then drove off. He was seeing stars. He said that he had tunnel vision and couldn't think straight. And that bitch just left him. I wasn't there, he called me when he could see and I picked him up and took him to the hospital. I told him to call the police but he wouldn't. He said he didn't want to. His foot/ankle is still bad, he has been working from home so we are lucky on that front and his boss & coworkers are very understanding. I'm happy that he's not very badly hurt, but it still costs money to go to the ER and Drs even with good insurance. He will be going to his first Physical Therapy session tonight. They will be able to let us know when we can go back to work and when it should be healed up. I really hope that he doesn't have any long term damage. I have been working full time while taking care of him. I've been doing all of the cooking, cleaning, going to the store, etc, etc. I'm a bit burnt out but my husband can see all of the wonderful things I'm doing for him, but I'm still tired and stressed.
Then on Saturday my dog, Pinto, started to cry out in pain. Then it went away as soon as it started. He was born with bad back knees and sometimes they pop out of place. He's 9 years old so it's starting to happen more often. He was ok then I took him for a walk. His back legs clammed up then he started to cry out. I picked him up to take him home and he threw up. Still crying and choking on bile I picked him up and ran to the house. I cried out what happened on my walk and looked up the nearest Vet. It was around 7pm and I found one that was open 24/7. I called explaining what happened and they said he needs to be seen and they can look at him now. I rushed to get things ready, since my husband is still hurt and can barely walk. We had a friend over that also has a sprained ankle, but not for a serious reason. I ran to the car, got it and pulled it up to the nearest sidewalk for them to get in. We went to the vet, they took xrays and blood work. Everything was a blur. His blood work and xrays came back alright but he has loose ligaments in his knees that cause it to happen. He was given meds for it. The bill was $1,800 and he has to go back in two weeks for a check up. He's probably going to need surgery. The next day we got Pinto pet insurance for the next visits and the surgery he is probably going to need. Pinto has had very low energy since Saturday but he seems to be eating and drinking enough because he's going #1 and #2 fine on his short walks. I'm so worried about Pinto, and I'm so upset at the cost. I live in the Bay Area so everything costs a heck of a lot more, but still it's a shock.
We will have to see, but I don't think that my husband and I can go home for Christmas now. Flights are really expensive. My mom offered to pay, but she can't afford the $700 each tickets, no way, plus I wouldn't want just her to spend the money when we would be seeing everyone. Why couldn't other family members step up if they also want to see us so badly? They never come to us in California. My husband says that it's a little early to worry about Christmas, and might be able to just go when it's less expensive.
I know that I am lucky because my dog could have needed surgery on the spot, or my husband could've had it way worse with his accident or it could have been at a time when we really couldn't have afforded it at all, instead of just not being able to go somewhere. I know that I could have it bad like the people that went through Harvey, Irma or Maria, like the people that lost their homes in the current fires in California. (I've been through rough Hurricanes, it's beyond hard).
TL;DR Aunt is sick with cancer, seeing her on Thanksgiving. Husband and dog had serious accidents, but it could be worse. Stressed because I'm doing everything it seems, feeling bad that I'm not more thankful that it turned out ok. Might not be able to go home for Christmas.
UPDATE: My dog is on meds that have helped. He hasn't been hurt since. My husband can walk! He still can't drive and it's still a bit swollen. Bad update, my husband is probably going to have to work the week of Thanksgiving. At work they are just too busy. He might also have to work the week of Christmas? They don't know yet, it's too far out. Also I have a cold. Probably from the stress, but things really were getting better before this week. lol
Forums Serious Talk Stressed-There is an update at the end
@Totalanimefan: Hey Totalanimefan! We don't talk much but I decided to read this and was honestly kind of touched. As you said your life was going pretty well, then the sudden bumps in the road made it a bit more difficult.
First, I want to say how important it is to know that it could be worse and that you realize this! It's amazing, awesome and speaks for your maturity! It's also a lot less common than you might think because it is so easy to just wallow in the negatives. I don't really have a lot to say here but I wanted to let you know that you're handling it very very gracefully and that it was quite an achievement. You appreciate your husband enough to not resent him and even acknowledge that he appreciates you back, this is really touching.
There isn't much to say between you two but it sounds like a mutual understanding of the crappy situation you guys are, but the most important information of all is that you know you'll get better, that you appreciate what you have and even though it's not going your way, you're not spiraling into a negative cycle.
The best thing you can do for your aunt is just to be there for her and you're already making an effort to do so. That's really all anyone can do, you know?
I think it's perfectly OK to feel overwhelmed! And I don't think you should feel bad that you're not more thankful, it's a really difficult situation and a lot for one person to handle. Maybe just taking an afternoon off and maybe cuddle with the pets and husband for some R&R. Your feelings are just feelings, but the way you act by taking care of your husband and pets is the true reflection of how much you care about them and that is something you should be proud of.
I hope things look up for you! =)
First, I want to say how important it is to know that it could be worse and that you realize this! It's amazing, awesome and speaks for your maturity! It's also a lot less common than you might think because it is so easy to just wallow in the negatives. I don't really have a lot to say here but I wanted to let you know that you're handling it very very gracefully and that it was quite an achievement. You appreciate your husband enough to not resent him and even acknowledge that he appreciates you back, this is really touching.
There isn't much to say between you two but it sounds like a mutual understanding of the crappy situation you guys are, but the most important information of all is that you know you'll get better, that you appreciate what you have and even though it's not going your way, you're not spiraling into a negative cycle.
The best thing you can do for your aunt is just to be there for her and you're already making an effort to do so. That's really all anyone can do, you know?
I think it's perfectly OK to feel overwhelmed! And I don't think you should feel bad that you're not more thankful, it's a really difficult situation and a lot for one person to handle. Maybe just taking an afternoon off and maybe cuddle with the pets and husband for some R&R. Your feelings are just feelings, but the way you act by taking care of your husband and pets is the true reflection of how much you care about them and that is something you should be proud of.
I hope things look up for you! =)
@Mica: Thank you for your reply. Thank you for your kind, insightful words. I was feeling a little down that no one had replied yet, but then I realized that what I wrote was probably daunting to read. lol I'm glad that you took the time to read and reply. I think that you worded yourself very well.
I'll take your advice, and I just want you to know that just a few days later it's a little better. Pinto has been taking his medicine, and hopefully he will be fine until his 2nd visit.
My husband can walk without the crutches, but can't walk much, and still has to ice, and elevate it.
I've always tried to be the person that looked at the bigger picture, and to think about what others are thinking and feeling. I would never be one to hate my husband because I love him so much. (He loves me so much too lol)
We could always chat more. I'm always up for chatting and making new friends.
I'll take your advice, and I just want you to know that just a few days later it's a little better. Pinto has been taking his medicine, and hopefully he will be fine until his 2nd visit.
My husband can walk without the crutches, but can't walk much, and still has to ice, and elevate it.
I've always tried to be the person that looked at the bigger picture, and to think about what others are thinking and feeling. I would never be one to hate my husband because I love him so much. (He loves me so much too lol)
We could always chat more. I'm always up for chatting and making new friends.
@Totalanimefan: You're very welcome! I'm really glad to have helped. It was very long, yes but I mean the point of this whole forum is to emote and kind of let out your feelings, right? Well feelings come in all shapes and sizes, I'm sure if I were to post something here it would definitely be hella long. Also, some people are really allergic to reading long stuff! D:<
I'm glad I responded too! I mean I seldom posts in these threads (this might be my first?!) but I was really surprised with your post and knew you just needed a pick me up cause you're really doing well on your own!
Pinto sounds so cute ;w; and the thought of anyones pet suffering is just so sad!
Woah, he's already up on his own! :D It's awesome you got a nice strong dude over there, he'll recover in no time! That's a comforting thought!
I think your effort is really what matters y'know? Like often people don't even try, and when they fail they just give up.. this kind of applies to almost everything but trying to look at the picture is something even I struggle with. I'm really happy to see such a healthy, lovable marriage there should be much more in the world.
Haha, I'm sure it's not your fault we haven't! I just tend to stick to my own threads because I am hella anxious and shy to reach out(it's not obvious, I know D:). But when I do, I seldom regret it!
I'm glad I responded too! I mean I seldom posts in these threads (this might be my first?!) but I was really surprised with your post and knew you just needed a pick me up cause you're really doing well on your own!
Pinto sounds so cute ;w; and the thought of anyones pet suffering is just so sad!
Woah, he's already up on his own! :D It's awesome you got a nice strong dude over there, he'll recover in no time! That's a comforting thought!
I think your effort is really what matters y'know? Like often people don't even try, and when they fail they just give up.. this kind of applies to almost everything but trying to look at the picture is something even I struggle with. I'm really happy to see such a healthy, lovable marriage there should be much more in the world.
Haha, I'm sure it's not your fault we haven't! I just tend to stick to my own threads because I am hella anxious and shy to reach out(it's not obvious, I know D:). But when I do, I seldom regret it!
Apparently out of a gig. --v 
RLC Commissions always available! PM me or add me on discord: micami#8341
RLC Commissions always available! PM me or add me on discord: micami#8341
@Mica: I do agree with you that it's a bit refreshing to see not just doom and gloom in people's mindsets, but can I say that when it's my own? Is that too egotistical of me? lol I work a lot on myself to have this mindset/world view.
I can chat with you in one of your threads. Also you say Hella, are you from the bay area?
I can chat with you in one of your threads. Also you say Hella, are you from the bay area?
Oh total :< I wish I could help.
I can understand the stress, esp about money. Bf and I both work and we are recovering from moving expenses.
I wish there was more I could do for you.
But, things may be rough right now but they won't always be. Hubby should have called the cops, but there isnt much to do about it now.
I hope he recovers well and quickly.
At least you will be able to see your aunt this thanksgiving, even if you can't go home for christmas. It's only one christmas, even if it sucks you can't.
You seem to be handling it really well and while yes, other people have it harder...it doesn't mean you cant be bummed about what is hard for you now. <3
I can understand the stress, esp about money. Bf and I both work and we are recovering from moving expenses.
I wish there was more I could do for you.
But, things may be rough right now but they won't always be. Hubby should have called the cops, but there isnt much to do about it now.
I hope he recovers well and quickly.
At least you will be able to see your aunt this thanksgiving, even if you can't go home for christmas. It's only one christmas, even if it sucks you can't.
You seem to be handling it really well and while yes, other people have it harder...it doesn't mean you cant be bummed about what is hard for you now. <3
Money is so stressful and scary. I'm so sorry. :(
I'm glad your husband and doggo are both well, and your aunt ... she's clearly a fighter. <3
This time of year is tough and money is a big factor, but you've got time to save. It sucks missing out on family during holidays, but flights and everything are so much cheaper in the weeks before and after, so maybe you can squeeze in two visits? ;w;
I have the same holiday issues actually :c so I definitely feel you there.
I'm with Pixiebuns, too. Don't feel super guilty. Some people DO have it harder but you're still allowed to feel the stress.
I'm glad your husband and doggo are both well, and your aunt ... she's clearly a fighter. <3
This time of year is tough and money is a big factor, but you've got time to save. It sucks missing out on family during holidays, but flights and everything are so much cheaper in the weeks before and after, so maybe you can squeeze in two visits? ;w;
I have the same holiday issues actually :c so I definitely feel you there.
I'm with Pixiebuns, too. Don't feel super guilty. Some people DO have it harder but you're still allowed to feel the stress.
@pixiebuns:
@Addy:
Thank you both for posting here. It means a lot to me. Things are doing a little better now. My husband can walk a little bit, but we also found out that PInto's pet insurance wouldn't cover the surgery if he needed it. So we got rid of it. No point in paying $70 a month for it to do nothing for us.
When I go for Thanksgiving, that's just where some of my family lives, but not the family that I normally see for Christmas. We might be able to go sometime, we just don't know yet.
Thank you guys again for your support. Just posting here means a lot to me.
@Addy:
Thank you both for posting here. It means a lot to me. Things are doing a little better now. My husband can walk a little bit, but we also found out that PInto's pet insurance wouldn't cover the surgery if he needed it. So we got rid of it. No point in paying $70 a month for it to do nothing for us.
When I go for Thanksgiving, that's just where some of my family lives, but not the family that I normally see for Christmas. We might be able to go sometime, we just don't know yet.
Thank you guys again for your support. Just posting here means a lot to me.
Total: of course <3
im sorry to hear about Pinto's insurance/surgery blunder :<
whats the point of insurance if it wont help. sigh
*hugs*
im sorry to hear about Pinto's insurance/surgery blunder :<
whats the point of insurance if it wont help. sigh
*hugs*
@pixiebuns: Thanks. Things have been a little better. Martin was sick on monday, but it wasn't related to his foot.
Pinto has been good as well. We will know more during this check up this weekend.
Pinto has been good as well. We will know more during this check up this weekend.
@Totalanimefan: I know you're going through a rough time right now,
but everything will get better is a matter of time, I don't know if you're
Aunt who is sick with cancer lives close to the family members who
want you home for Christmas or not. But if you can see you're Aunt
that is good. And I know what you mean on the family part, if they want
to see you and your husband, so badly they should come see you, not the
other way around. Getting on a plane for your husband's sake, might be rough
lots of people gotta rush to get the and board the plane on time, and if He can't
be on his feet long or walk great it will be hard. sorry for what you are going through
all of the stress and bad things happening all around
but everything will get better is a matter of time, I don't know if you're
Aunt who is sick with cancer lives close to the family members who
want you home for Christmas or not. But if you can see you're Aunt
that is good. And I know what you mean on the family part, if they want
to see you and your husband, so badly they should come see you, not the
other way around. Getting on a plane for your husband's sake, might be rough
lots of people gotta rush to get the and board the plane on time, and if He can't
be on his feet long or walk great it will be hard. sorry for what you are going through
all of the stress and bad things happening all around
@Unicorn: Thank you. Things are looking a better better with my husband's ankle/foot. He can walk now, the Dr said he should, but he can't drive yet.
I'm glad that he is able to walk again. On the downside, there is a high chance that he will have to work the week of Thanksgiving and he won't be able to come on the trip with me. :(
I do have Family in PA, but I'm from FL, and that's the part of family that wants to see me during Christmas. I'm thinking that my husband and I could just fly out in Jan to see people, it would be much cheaper and he wouldn't be so busy with work.
@Totalanimefan: your welcome, but you should see your aunt before January if you can no one knows how long the ones that have cancer will be around for. It is important but I can understand on not going. And just going after Christmas to see family. Sorry
@Unicorn: I'm still going to see her during Thankgiving no matter what, and seeing family in Jan was for the family in FL.
@Totalanimefan: oh I see well that is good to hear. I know how you feel about family saying that they really wanna see you. I have family like that, that is why we try to do a family reunion and say well if you wanna see me you better be at the family reunion. Not so sure if your family does those type of things. It's a good idea though
@Unicorn: I went to one of those when I was in middle school lol
Holidays are tough, but I'll work something out.
https://www.threads.net/@hannahfoll____
Discord: Totalanimefan
@me
I'm friendly and will chat with anyone!
@Totalanimefan: oh I see and yes Holidays are always rough and that is along time
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.