Ark's Post-A-Lot - Voltra Online

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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He texted me today but only because I sent him a pic of my cats and he realized he forgot to respond.

He doesn’t give me asshole, ghosting vibes but you never know. 🫠

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I also need to stop stressing over this. It’s not like this is making some big impact on my life.

It’s just hard not to stress because of my past experiences. I obviously wouldn’t say that me and bro are dating, but the stresses of my dating experiences just make me so anxious. I can’t help but over-analyze everything.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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Also, my problem is that I want to hangout with him again and find myself almost asking if he wants to until I remember that he doesn’t live here. 🫠

I wish I could rewind to last weekend so that I could hangout with him all over again. Not on some weird, desperate vibes, but because I truly enjoyed his company. and me feeling crushingly lonely during the festival didn’t help because he sort of filled a part of that void. 🫠 Y’know, cause I’m the lonely loser who goes to concerts alone because she doesn’t have friends who like the same music.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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Yeah, I can tell his interest is fading…

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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Now is probably a good time to chalk it, I guess.

We had a fun night, but aren’t obligated for anything more.

A part of me wants to hold on to the connection a little longer, but surely that’s cause I don’t want to feel alone. I don’t want to accept that someone else I’m into isn’t into me. It might be best to just let it go before I get too attached.

Fellowsheep

Friend PM Trade

Ohhai. Can I spam in here too, Ark?

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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@Fellowsheep: Hello! :) I’m sorry, this is kind of like a venting space for me, so I’d prefer it to just be me posting. ^^; But thank you for asking!

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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The guy who dumped me last month randomly texted me today apologizing for not responding to me before, and to say that him and the girl he dumped me for broke up weeks ago. :|

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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He apologized for not properly communicating with me before and said he’s got a lot to work on, with communication being the main thing.

Idk if he’s still processing his break up, ruminating in guilt, is having a bad depressive episode, or trying to absolve himself of said guilt, but I’m surprised that he even texted me to tell me this.

He didn’t say that he liked me or wanted me back, though. He just apologized a few times and thanked me for being nice to him. I…. Don’t know what to take away from all this.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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Seeing his name in my inbox brought back all the sadness, though. I went through the sadness, I processed the heartache, and I prepared myself to move on without him. I accepted that I’d likely never hear from him again and that he wasn’t meant to be in my life. I started seeing other people to get over him, just for him to randomly pop up.

I can’t say I’m mad because deep down a part of me still likes and misses him, but a bigger part of me feels sad and numb knowing that I got a taste of what I wanted and that after today I’ll probably never talk to him again.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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I’ve been looking for him in other people, but they’re not him.

I’ve been mourning all the things I wanted to experience with him that I won’t get to.

Him texting me ignites a hope that maybe, just maybe he’ll talk to me again and we can go back to how things were. It created this sense of anticipation where I fear that now I’ll be hoping he texts me or that he wants to hangout.

This is severe wishful thinking…

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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His favorite band will be in town next week. A part of me wants to ask if he wants to go, but I don’t want to push it.

I’m sure after today I’ll go back to being an afterthought. Just someone to run back to after shit hits the fan, only to ghost and find love elsewhere.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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My head is all over the place right now. 😞

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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On the bright side, a customer at my bar asked for my number last night and wants to take me out on Friday, and I’ve still been talking to the guy I met at the music festival. At least I know I’m desired.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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I asked him today if I’m still dumped and if he only texted me to apologize and nothing more. He said yes, that he’s not ready for anything more right now.

I guess that’ll be the last time we ever talk then..

I only asked for clarification, so as not to get my hopes up thinking I’m on his radar again. I feel pretty sad, I can’t even lie… I really liked him. I had so many things in mind that I wanted to experience with him, and this just means I’ll for sure never get that chance. Le. Sigh.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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I don’t even feel excited anymore for my date on Friday.

I just want to shut myself in my room and not talk to anyone.

Ark

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Gotta process the heartache and try to get over him all over again..

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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I just wonder when he stopped liking me? What was it that made him lose interest? Did I do something wrong? I’ll never know…

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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I went on that date on Friday and it was okay. The weather was beautiful and the drinks were good, but I don’t think I’m into the guy as much as he’s into me. We ended up hooking up and the sex wasn’t really impressive either. This isn’t to talk down on him because he seemed really nice, I just don’t think we’re compatible.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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And to make matters worse, ol dude was on my mind the entire time. The guy I went out with knew about him dumping me and I was honest with him about him randomly texting me the other day.

I think I should hold off on dating for a bit until I can process my feelings again and try to move on. It’s not fair to date other people with someone else in mind (someone you’d rather be with, at that).

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