Ark's Post-A-Lot - Voltra Online

Ark

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I’m going to a comic expo today but I’m going by myself and I feel nervous for some reason. I’ve gone to events like this alone before, so this shouldn’t phase me.

I went with my friends last year, but this year I didn’t want to ask them to go. I haven’t been talking to them much lately because I feel like a burden, so I’ve been distancing myself. :/

Ark

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I just speed ran the expo floor, briefly spoke to a friend who’s tabling, bought a few comics way beyond my intended budget, and left. My anxiety started going into overdrive being around all the people. @-@

Ark

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As I was leaving the expo I drove past a peaceful anti-Trump protest and it made my heart so happy that I teared up. ;u;

Ark

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And I probably shouldn’t have done this, but I went to the mall and treated myself to Dippin’ Dots and got my eyebrows done. I also went to Hot Topic and bought two Pierce the Veil shirts. [ ‘:

Ark

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I’m sure I’ll regret spending money later, but I’m justifying it by telling myself I deserve to be treated. I feel so sad and overwhelmed today, I gotta make up for it somehow.

Ark

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Dippin’ Dots is like my favorite ice cream and I don’t get it very often. Having it now is making me feel good.

Ark

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That guy came over today and I really enjoyed his company. [ ‘: Turns out we have more in common than I originally thought and it felt good talking and joking with him. And of course, the “meet up” was fun as well.

Ark

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I’m not going to think too far into it though. Maybe this is just a hook up type of connection and nothing more.

However, being in his company kinda made me forget about ol dude in the moment, so maybe that’s a good thing?

Ark

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Getting attention from others is nice, but I wish I could get it from dude. 😔 I don’t even know what I could’ve done to make him uninterested. Last time we went out things seemed okay for the most part…

Ark

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I’ve been posting so much in this thread lately because I don’t really have anyone to talk to, so may as well talk to myself, right? 🫠

Ark

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I’m at my bar job and I’m wearing one of my Pierce the Veil shirts. Given the area this bar is in, I thought people would’ve complimented it but so far they haven’t. 🫠

I guess I thought they would cause at my last shift I wore my Gorillaz shirt and I got compliments all night. xD Aw well.

Ark

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As my shift goes on I’m starting to feel sad. Seeing people drink together makes me think of me and dude going out for drinks, and I really wish we could get drinks again….

Ark

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A part of me is tempted to text him but I shouldn’t. I doubt he’d respond. I just want to see him again. 😞

Ark

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Le sigh.

It’s pretty busy tonight and I feel so sad. I just want to go home and sulk.

Ark

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I’m working with the manager tonight and his girlfriend is here. It’s kind of annoying because he keeps talking with her, meanwhile people keep coming to the bar ordering drinks. I’m a barback, I’m not trained to make drinks and can only serve draft beer. It’s getting annoying having to ask him every few minutes to help me because he’s too busy chatting with his girlfriend. -_- I’m sick of my coworkers inviting their partners to come while they’re working.

Ark

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And also I’m tired of it because it just reminds me of how lonely I am. Almost every shift I have to watch as my coworkers talk, cupcake, and flirt with their partners, meanwhile I just work and keep busy because I don’t have anyone to talk to. Not to be a hater, but I wish there were a rule against having company during busy hours.

Ark

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Also, working here is kind of annoying because literally no one, expect for their other new hire, trained me.

I’m basically having to learn everything on the fly, which isn’t good when we’re busy because they have to stop what they’re doing to answer my questions or help me.

Sure, that’s how you learn, but my amount of questions and cluelessness could be avoided if someone actually properly trained me. I feel so useless here.

Ark

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I also learned today that my manager is 10 years younger than me. 🫠

I honestly think I’m the oldest person working there, with everyone being like 4-10 years younger than me. It kinda makes me feel weird tbh. Like I’m out of place.

Ark

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And the main reason why I applied to this bar, not only because I wanted the extra income, but because ol dude suggested I try being a bartender. So I applied to multiple bars in the area and got hired here.

Now that he’s not talking to me I kind of lost interest in being there. Idk how to explain it.

Ark

Friend PM Trade

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On a more positive note, at least three people complimented my shirt and I managed to have a convo about Pierce the Veil with one of the regulars. [ ‘:

Despite that….. I still felt so alone there. 😔

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