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Forums General Chit-Chat Here's to the boys who.....

Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/13 05:32:23 )
🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈



"Here’s to the boys who cover their stomachs when they sit down. Here’s to the boys with stretch marks. Here’s to the boys who avoid the mirrors. Here’s to the boys who skip eating. Here’s to the boys who feel small. Here’s to the boys who work so damn hard every day to like themselves. Here’s to the boys who hesitate before taking their shirt off at the swimming pool. Here’s to the boys who doubt themselves. Here’s to the boys who insist on having the lights off during sex. Here’s to the boys whose body issues are waved away by society. Here’s to the boys who have ever been told “you’d look so much hotter if...” Here’s to the boys who can finish that sentence and remember the exact time it was said to them. Here’s to the boys who hate shopping for clothes because nothing fits “just right.” Here’s to the boys. Here’s to the boys who are reading this. Here’s to the boys: you are attractive, you deserve to feel sexy, you have worth. You are wanted and loved. Here’s to you."
random ramblings

[Illustration: mefmu_f
https://instagram.com/megmu_f?igshid=1j6wndvw8dcvp ]


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Voltie — He/Him Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/13 14:51:04 )
"The future must know where you've been."


This is such a nice read - I'm on the heavier side, and I'm a trans male, so I get lots of nasty comments about my body - mostly, "you would look better if you lost weight" or "you just want to be a boy". It's... pretty depressing, but I'm feeling better knowing that someone out there cares about the boys who don't look like magazine models ;w;


"The past predicts the state you're in!"
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Voltie — he/they Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/13 17:34:53 )
β‡œβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ ∘ κ•₯ ∘ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ‡

heres to the boys with the booming system top down a/c with the cooling system

β‡œβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ ∘ κ•₯ ∘ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ‡

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pm me if u wanna donate 2 my living funds
☹

β”‹ 𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐒 β”‹ 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐬𝐒𝐱 β”‹ 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐒𝐯𝐞 β”‹
questing β”‹ hangout β”‹ gallery

Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/14 01:27:41 )
🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈



@0v7: you know, people will put down and criticize others due to their own insecurities. As someone who has battled body dysmorphia knowing that information never really helped. As a budding human and social services scientist I have learned why. The fact is, research has been done and has found that emotional pain activates the very same parts of the brain that are activated by physical pain. I don't think people realize that when someone says their feelings are hurt that they truly mean it. Huggles.You are you and you are one of a kind. You are beautiful no matter what. While other people may have comments and opinions on you and your life, you do not have to listen. Instead, take time each day, 5 min, and write down 3 things your grateful for and 3 things you love about yourself. We must teach ourselves to be selfloving and selfhealing and to turn off the selfshaming and selfhating. You are very special and i am proud to call you my friend.
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Voltie — He/Him Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/14 01:37:59 )
"The future must know where you've been."


@Xanthan: I'm so glad I know you ;w; I'll definitely start writing 3 things I'm grateful for, and 3 things I love about myself - so far in my journey against dysphoria and insecurity, I've learned that being neutral about how I look is far better than being negative! So instead of thinking, "oh, my nose is too big", I'll think, "my nose isn't too big, it's just right for me, and I'm cool with that". I wonder if that would help other people too? Body neutrality is a step above body negativity, I think. I'm aiming for body positivity in regards to myself of course, but unlearning 20 years of negativity is hard, haha. Do you have any tips for managing dysphoria and/or dysmorphia?


"The past predicts the state you're in!"
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Donator — She Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/14 14:59:49 )
@xanthan: that was really lovely of you to post that for the men.. some people forget that men also go through all that.. and I'm sure there are some men on here that needed to hear that and I bet it made them feel better ^.^

@vessel: I like that wee tune XD
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Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/14 22:58:41 )
🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈



@0v7: Good job! All too often people want to celebrate their endgame. I will be happy or happier when, I will rest when, I will xy or z when. When in all reality they need to celebrate the effort and not just the endgame. If you can be happy or happier when, then you can make that choice now. You can be happy or happier now. In the moment. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that it took time to create the anxiety and angst you feel. It is going to take equal time to heal and move on from it completely. I did not get to where I am in a day, and so I am not going to change in a day. But by golly I am going to be happy with every step and moment of progress not perfection. I am not where I want to be but I'll be darn if I am where I used to be. I do have some tips or tools to help with the dysmorphia. I would definitely start with and keep up with the gratitude for a few months. 30-45 days at least. That will help retrain your brain to seek out the positive because our brains naturally are tuned in to seek out that which is different, bad, odd, uncommon, and otherwise that which we do not think belongs. That is a good thing for the most part as it is a survival instinct from caveman days essentially. These days, we have as a people, come to embrace that negativity and that frame of reference too much. Now we must get back on track and maintain balance. I would also, but not at this time, wait the 30-45 days before attempting it, but write out your fears. For some people dysmorphia comes from family or bullying. It comes from a trait of obesity and they don't want to end up like so and so. Generally there is some sort of anxiety around being teased or taunted. Write it out. Look at it. Take that personal inventory. I would also suggest cutting out anything and anyone that contributes to low sel-esteem. That seems drastic and it can be. But you need to maintain healthy boundaries. Love and care, but some people, like my family, need to be loved and cared for from a distance. If someone is putting another person down in your presence, they won't hesitate to do the same in your absence. Educate. Explain. and if they don't understand, expel. Create a healthy place where people can communicate freely but not spew additional toxins about anyone. That is where I would start. Get grateful. Take inventory and understand your story so you can rewrite the ending. And boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. It is always easier to set strong boundaries from the start than to go in and try to change them after a relationship has begun. Relationship here being one of family, friends, partners, etc. I hope this helps.

@LilMissKushy: So true. Sadly there are many things left in the world which seem to be gender specific when it comes to stereotyping. That does not at all mean that those stereotypes are true, just that they exist.

@vessel: so sorry I missed your comment earlier. I do apologize. I like a jaunty little tune :) Thank you
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Voltie — He/Him Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/14 23:12:12 )
"The future must know where you've been."


@Xanthan: The part about loving/caring from a distance is something I never considered doing, and I might start doing so with the relatives who live with me, as well as my roommate who may or may not be related to me(??). Same goes for the relatives who don't live with me, most of the members of my family don't fundamentally understand me, which leads to conflict sometimes u_u. It's definitely hard going from rock bottom, to trying to understand that I'm allowed to exist and take up space. Hard, but worth it I think!!!

I hope you've been doing well, I've been meaning to hit up your hangout thread but the event's kind of taking over all my posting energy =v=;


"The past predicts the state you're in!"
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Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/14 23:47:41 )
🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈



@0v7: it's all good. My studies take up a lot of time. I wish i could participate more in the event. A good friend has sent me a few items and i have been able to get 3 on my own. We all have our own lives and struggles. Just message when you can. Ill be here.
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Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/27 20:08:15 )
🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈



@0v7: it has been a few weeks. How is the self care going? boundaries?
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Voltie — He/Him Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/27 22:36:03 )
"The future must know where you've been."


@Xanthan: It's slowly improving. Had a bit of a terrible weekend, lost a pet of mine to old age... but I'm working on taking care of myself, and I've set a few boundaries since we last talked! It'll take time but hopefully I'll feel more comfortable in the future.


"The past predicts the state you're in!"
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Donator — SIR Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/29 03:41:16 )
🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈



@0v7: i am so sorry to hear about your pet. On the flipside, the first three words....golden my friend. Improving, progress, moving forward, no matter the speed they are all the same...advancing beyond where you were. I am proud of you.
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🌈 Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry or invited a stranger to come inside?
🌈





Voltie — He/Him Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/09/29 03:55:08 )
"The future must know where you've been."


@Xanthan: Thank you - it means a lot to me!! I'm taking it easy this week because I have to go back to try and get blood-related labwork again. I have a nasty bruise on one arm where they tried, n the other got a flu shot so now both arms are sore >w>;;;

I hope this week treats you and I well!!


"The past predicts the state you're in!"
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I quit Voltra. Read my profile.

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