Lucifera's posts
Posted in Why being "So ADHD" isn't a joke
Posted 4 years ago
@kaichoukai: No, no! I actually liked reading I'm not the only one struggling. I actually still can't focus on reading, which sucks because i really used to love it. But now reading pages of story, and I still can't retain a single thing. I just started my meds maybe around this time last year, and initially the lowest dose was prescribed, then we took a step up to 2 or the lowest dose a day, to her taking me to 27mg and once a day, which hasn't helped me at all really... She said if I need to have more, if I'm struggling to take the bigger pill dose in the AM, and the lower at lunch, but I just have that fear of the feeling of when I had my OD, and can't bring myself to go higher? i know I need to really go back and have my meds assessed, but making the time for that between school and work, and then like, having that fear I just don't want to. xD
But thank you! I'm hoping to conquer my BS and just get to where I need to be. But I'm so happy to feel like... Normal? I never knew how bad I was until I missed a dose. xD (the med my psych put me on doesn't stay in your system or build up. It's a slow release that is in your system, and then once it's out it's out. Helps make sure I sleep normal too.)
But thank you! I'm hoping to conquer my BS and just get to where I need to be. But I'm so happy to feel like... Normal? I never knew how bad I was until I missed a dose. xD (the med my psych put me on doesn't stay in your system or build up. It's a slow release that is in your system, and then once it's out it's out. Helps make sure I sleep normal too.)
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
@Another Movie Addict: Well, it's good that it's going great. =) Either way, I hope you find someone who makes you happy! Everyone deserves that.
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
@Another Movie Addict: Yeah... Social anxiety is becoming more and more common. xD I found my ADHD contributed to mine and once I was medicated talking to people became less of a chore, less taxing and whatnot. Oof, that's a bit ago. xD How's life since?
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
@Another Movie Addict: Yeah... I bumped into a mutual friend in the furry community and can confirm. Furry community is full of bed hoppers. I honestly just don't even anymore. xD I come on here and rant, see who else is in a similar pot of bull shite, and then otherwise I dive into my artwork and just ignore the world.
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
@Another Movie Addict: Mine I'd been best friends with for 12 years (had bad habits then) and promised when we started dating he'd be less of a self-absorbed rectum. Needless to say, it lasted like 2 months after we met in person and he fell back into old ways. I told him either he straightened out or I'm 100% Done. I have put up With psychopaths and sociopaths enough in my life that I can't and won't. I understand how hard it is though because starting from scratch in new relationships is a situation that becomes tedious... Especially after 100+ first dates.
It's so good. Eliot is honestly my favorite character and no other will ever compare. I honestly can't with Margot though. she just irritates me sometimes. xD But hopefully you get to watch it! I am guilty of binging in whilst I was supposed to be studying this semester.
It's so good. Eliot is honestly my favorite character and no other will ever compare. I honestly can't with Margot though. she just irritates me sometimes. xD But hopefully you get to watch it! I am guilty of binging in whilst I was supposed to be studying this semester.
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
@Another Movie Addict: xD I dunno why that made me chuckle. But sociopaths can be seductive, tbh. I just broke up with one of those like, last november/october? It's not uncommon.
I've never gotten a youtuber meme... OwO I mainly like horror movies, as most other movie endings disappoint me. Despite being a choir kid I never really got into musicals. Sometimes the singing just felt so awkward during certain times. I tend to watch more TV with my favorites (right now) being the magicians and Marvelous Miss Maizel. I get being frustrated by the association of if you like this... I mean it's probably sent with good intentions. A lot of times when that happens sometimes I remind myself sometimes people are just trying to connect? I think in a world where people are forgetting how to talk to one another, sending relatable memes is one of the few ways people can be like "hey this is me." but... eh. xD To each their own.
I've never gotten a youtuber meme... OwO I mainly like horror movies, as most other movie endings disappoint me. Despite being a choir kid I never really got into musicals. Sometimes the singing just felt so awkward during certain times. I tend to watch more TV with my favorites (right now) being the magicians and Marvelous Miss Maizel. I get being frustrated by the association of if you like this... I mean it's probably sent with good intentions. A lot of times when that happens sometimes I remind myself sometimes people are just trying to connect? I think in a world where people are forgetting how to talk to one another, sending relatable memes is one of the few ways people can be like "hey this is me." but... eh. xD To each their own.
Posted in Why being "So ADHD" isn't a joke
Posted 4 years ago
@Priestess of Pie: Not usually. Now if I'm having a bad day, having my NSD diagnosis is something I can dump it on because I had to see specialists for it and SB corporate knows about it. It's easier to blame the neurological issues than ADHD because of how it's perceived in modern media and the bandaid idea of "diet, exercise, and coping skills can make it better without meds." when to a certain degree, that's not entirely true.
@KDA Drew: Oof. I get the fidgeting. So far that way I deal with that is there is fidget pens, and my grandmother got me a fidget cube for xmas. that, and just clicking my frixion pens.. xD In other words finding outlets for the fidgets helps. (when my meds first kick in, fidget is high. eases up after.)
@KDA Drew: Oof. I get the fidgeting. So far that way I deal with that is there is fidget pens, and my grandmother got me a fidget cube for xmas. that, and just clicking my frixion pens.. xD In other words finding outlets for the fidgets helps. (when my meds first kick in, fidget is high. eases up after.)
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
@Another Movie Addict: I'm that person whose guilty of sharing mental-health positive memes. xD And super, super dark humor memes... But yeah finding someone you're compatible with is already tough enough, and then adding on top of that other things, it adds up. xD I'm borderline at a point of, I really just need to give up on the idea of dating. Because already I've tried about 10ish dating apps? And in all of them, it's the same...
Poly is something I feel like some people can do, and do well. My issue with it personally is that i know I'd favor one person above another and it'd end up being me monogamously dating the one, getting jealous of the other getting attention. So I just avoid it.
Poly is something I feel like some people can do, and do well. My issue with it personally is that i know I'd favor one person above another and it'd end up being me monogamously dating the one, getting jealous of the other getting attention. So I just avoid it.
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
@Another Movie Addict: I get that a lot too! I have had one girlfriend and honestly... It was kind of a fail because we weren't like, intellectually compatible? But honestly with both men and women that I do happen to match with, I can't bring myself to be interested in them. There isn't enough common ground, or they are just this one demensional person that 'just wants to get drunk and high and have a good time."
Like I just want a sincere relationship. With men, that is hardly something easy to find in straight-passing relationships or as a straight person. But in the LGBT+ community, finding someone who is female is hard (i date pretty much trans/NB folks as well) finding someone who is wanting a relationship, harder, finding someone who wants a monogamous relationship... I love the idea of poly, but I only have the mental capacity for one person, and it feels like it's a game of stacking cards. xD Nearly impossible sometimes.
Like I just want a sincere relationship. With men, that is hardly something easy to find in straight-passing relationships or as a straight person. But in the LGBT+ community, finding someone who is female is hard (i date pretty much trans/NB folks as well) finding someone who is wanting a relationship, harder, finding someone who wants a monogamous relationship... I love the idea of poly, but I only have the mental capacity for one person, and it feels like it's a game of stacking cards. xD Nearly impossible sometimes.
Posted in Why being "So ADHD" isn't a joke
Posted 4 years ago
@KDA Drew: A lot of times, you can end up with doctors who don't want to try and diagnose based on family. If you are certain your diagnosis is wrong, just approach your doctor and say, look, I still have this issue. And you're overlooking it. Please listen. I have hard to learn really fast to be my own advocate, and to really make myself heard with some doctors. Hopefully you're not finding your work and such heavily impacted?
@Priestess of Pie: This is very true. I do try and educate on what it's like for me. Honestly, even though ADHD is still only treatable and not curable, it's much more manageable than my bipolar diagnosis was so there's an intense relief here. (no if my meds are short until I can get them adjusted, i work at a coffee joint. AHHHH.) I also do distance myself from damaging people. Anyone who says things like that, I do try to avoid. But I think part of it is also my employer. (NOT SB themselves) but my store manager (previous, she's at another store now) made comments about my issues being all in my head. Contacted corporate but SB is more likely to fire all the low level partners than a SM is the SM sucks. =\
@Priestess of Pie: This is very true. I do try and educate on what it's like for me. Honestly, even though ADHD is still only treatable and not curable, it's much more manageable than my bipolar diagnosis was so there's an intense relief here. (no if my meds are short until I can get them adjusted, i work at a coffee joint. AHHHH.) I also do distance myself from damaging people. Anyone who says things like that, I do try to avoid. But I think part of it is also my employer. (NOT SB themselves) but my store manager (previous, she's at another store now) made comments about my issues being all in my head. Contacted corporate but SB is more likely to fire all the low level partners than a SM is the SM sucks. =\
Posted in Why being "So ADHD" isn't a joke
Posted 4 years ago
@Priestess of Pie: I'm approaching my mid 20s and I find it incredible how doctors disanose but don't seem to truly listen. My psychiatrist doesn't have a lot of time because she's a gov-funded one (hospital set me up with her when i didn't have supplimentary insurance) and so she gets paid via my medicare. But even in the small amounts of time, she listened, barely spoke. It made me feel so weird but she just let me talk, and then actually said "her's what i think." and wasn't cocky, or snide... And it's true we are barely just starting to understand the causes behind psychological issues. My university has an amazing psych department, and it's one of my majors, so I'm learning to advocate a lot better.
Sometimes I do take the meaning. But I guess because people often still stigmatize the actual illness when presented with it, it feels like it's not right to joke yet. I've had many people tell me my illness wasn't real, that it doesn't do anything I'm just faking it. So with those mindsets so readily out there, I have a hard time taking their actual intention rather than the literal... if that makes sense?
Sometimes I do take the meaning. But I guess because people often still stigmatize the actual illness when presented with it, it feels like it's not right to joke yet. I've had many people tell me my illness wasn't real, that it doesn't do anything I'm just faking it. So with those mindsets so readily out there, I have a hard time taking their actual intention rather than the literal... if that makes sense?
Posted in Yo. Just checking this out.
Posted 4 years ago
@XxReijixX: Welcome, welcome! Always nice to see new faces on voltra! I hope you like it here. I know a lot of folks migrate from gaia or other places, I did myself... Voltra is the perfect mix of everything I love wrapped into one site, and has become the only avi site I frequent. <3
Posted in It’s that time again...
Posted 4 years ago
@Totalanimefan: Sorry it took me forever to respond to this. At the time I was in an emotional place and couldn't get my head to take the advice the right way.
Right now, it'd really hard to make the time or money to do those things. So I've just been doing what I can when I can to make myself happy. I do feel better now, but I do miss my ex, he was my friend for a long time. But I finally realized me and him were stuck in a super unhealthy cycle and plus, I may not even be... straight. So I mean... xD things happen for a reason! Hopefully this year just keeps getting better!
Right now, it'd really hard to make the time or money to do those things. So I've just been doing what I can when I can to make myself happy. I do feel better now, but I do miss my ex, he was my friend for a long time. But I finally realized me and him were stuck in a super unhealthy cycle and plus, I may not even be... straight. So I mean... xD things happen for a reason! Hopefully this year just keeps getting better!
Posted in LGBT dating life is hard
Posted 4 years ago
xD Anyone here in the community that had/has the hardest time finding dates or figuring out how to date? As a 23 y/o cis woman (I identify as pans but honestly, I'm starting to question if I'm not just lesbian fighting a super traditional upbringing) I find it hard to meet other women that I connect with. It's an intense struggle folks! xD
Anyone else going through the same?
Anyone else going through the same?