Ghostie's posts

Posted in What's up my doods? Posted 4 years ago

@Dread Pirate: im gonna buy overwatch on PC soon. :) i havent touched my switch since i got the laptop lol.

yes caffeine is good

Posted in What's up my doods? Posted 4 years ago

@Dread Pirate: im practicing shading rn and drinking an iced coffeeee. i surprisingly dont have a headache right now which is nice :)
how are you draddy?

Posted in catch me up on the last 2 yrs Posted 4 years ago

@Lithinel: i'd love to see them if you decide to do it! im not even sure what my preferred style here will be now that so much time has passed. maybe your outfits can give me a base to work off of!

thanks so much :) ill let you know what im missing as soon as i figure it out haha

Posted in free bad doodles Posted 4 years ago

i didnt wanna put this in shops since it's free.

i am re-teaching myself how to use a tablet and im uhhhhhhhhhhh not doing so great

give me avatars or oc's to draw poorly while i get used to this thing again

i'll be doing them as quickly as possible since this is just to get me back into the feel of looking at my pc screen and drawing with a tablet. i havent done this in probably 2.5 to 3 years or so now. something like that. back when i had my art shop here i was using my mouse because my tablet pen was gone.

anyway yeah gimme stuff to draw badly thank you

Posted in medically, i'm scared. stroke/aneurysm. Posted 4 years ago

@Lithinel: Thank you so much for that offer, I really appreciate it. <3

My best friend is someone I met online about 14 years ago. We still talk almost every day. We met in person finally last year for her birthday, I flew up to see her for 5 days.

But lately she's been busy dealing with her own problems. I've been there for her as much as I can but I have to be honest, I've become a bit exhausted always answering her texts and calls and listening to her problems while mine have been mostly ignored. I know she isn't doing it on purpose, but sometimes it feels like I just need a break from certain friendships. I'm tired. So I may just take you up on that since currently I don't feel like I have someone to talk to about some things. And of course, I'd like to offer the same in return. I don't always know how to help, but I am a really good listener if you ever just need to vent and have someone pay attention to you or share similar stories if I have them. I find that hearing someone else can kind of understand how I feel is actually very helpful sometimes.

Posted in catch me up on the last 2 yrs Posted 4 years ago

@Lithinel: Oooh selling outfits sounds like it would be fun!

Thank you! I still have to look through everything I missed, I'm not sure what all I'm missing. :) I have gotten a few very generous trades since I got back so I have to go through and make a list of what I still need. Maybe I can bring my old quest thread back.

Posted in Aisu's Ambitions (Open! Come chat?) Posted 4 years ago

@xvz: only thing i know about housing interiors i learn in the sims 4 lol. just bought a couple of stuff packs i was missing and i've been playing with those, if that counts for anything relevant lol
ooo i should order an iced coffee today, that sounds lovely

my weekend was alright, it was my boyfriend's birthday on friday so he took a 4 day weekend. we spent it at home of course, just playing games and having a couple of drinks. i got him into watching legend of korra so we binged a bunch of that too.

@Aisukohi: i'm doing alright so far, its very early! how are you?

Posted in My new babies! (Kitten pics here!) Posted 4 years ago

@Lithinel: Bob Ross would call that a happy accident <3 It was just what you needed!

Posted in catch me up on the last 2 yrs Posted 4 years ago

@Lithinel: Of course! and that's good <3 I adopted a dog from a shelter 3 years ago and he couldn't replace my first dog whom I lost a coiuple years prior, but he has brought me so much new happiness and memories. I'm sure your babies will do the same for you. <3

And thanks! I was excited to finally play with my items again haha

Posted in medically, i'm scared. stroke/aneurysm. Posted 4 years ago

@Totalanimefan:
@MoodyBats:
@Kitalpha Hart:
@Priestess of Pie:
@Lithinel:

Thank you all for your kind words and reassurance.

Of course I've been telling myself it's anxiety getting the better of me. I've had anxiety my entire life and had my first fullblown panic attack 2 years ago. Paralyzed and cramped up arms, face cramped to the point I couldn't speak, I thought for sure I was dying and was rushed to the ER for it. I've had a few since then. But I haven't been able to afford to go back to therapy since they started and have been unmedicated this entire time.

I know when I get what feel like symptoms of something else, I overthink to the point of anxiety attacks, which are not nearly as scary as my panic attacks, but do trick my brain into thinking I must be dying, so it just spirals until I've found a way to calm myself down.

Yesterday afternoon I had one and my boyfriend took me to the shower, put the water on hot and let me stick my head in it until I calmed down, then he washed me. He's been the most amazing source of support so I'm lucky I have that during this.

I used to work in a massage therapy place so I know all about aromatherapy, which one of you mentioned. I am allergic to lavender unfortunately, I used to use mint and citrus but as my symptoms have worsened, they don't do much good for me.

I do know the headaches could be caused by stress, I've just simply never had a migraine last weeks without end before and it's really scary. Yesterday I slept all day, woke up for a couple of hours to walk my dog and eat, then slept through the night, hoping the headache would be gone when I woke this morning. It started again about 20 minutes after I woke up. At this point I'm going insane. I don't wanna keep taking pain medicine. Even when I take it, I can tell the migraine is there, I just don't feel it as strongly. I'm light sensitive and the vision in my right eye is worse than normal.

I do appreciate you all trying to help me remember that my anxiety causes these sorts of symptoms and worrying can worsen them. I don't think I'm ready to write it off as that yet but I'll keep trying to remind myself. I really need to get back into therapy and see a doctor. I'm hoping when I start my new job I'll be able to afford something since the pandemic is keeping us from spending so much money.

I think this post may just be jumbled thoughts, I'm finding it hard to focus. Thanks for listening <3

Posted in [S] 26 Reaping Ritual '17 Skull Buckets[T/O] The Electrician, Frizz Set MORE [B] 2019/2020 items Posted 4 years ago

@Starlight:
@xvz:

Hi! I'm not ignoring your posts, I just want a little more time to make a decision on selling them, if that's okay! I'm doing some back reading to see what they've sold for in the past and asking a friend for advice. I'll be back to you guys later today. Just don't want you to think I'm ignoring. <3

Posted in Life updates coming at you from me! Posted 4 years ago

@Totalanimefan: I've been car-less my whole life and I honestly prefer it this way too! Public transpo, biking, walking, better for me and the environment.
I could never live in a highrise. 2nd floor is the highest for me. I get dizzy and scared when I'm too high, even if there's no windows. If I know I'm high up I get terrified lol. Anxiety is crazy! I'm glad you love it so much though, sounds perfect for you :)

I live in a big city in Florida. I'd love to move somewhere a bit quieter.

Posted in You probably dont see me.... Posted 4 years ago

@Miss Sandman: I'm doing well! You?

Posted in medically, i'm scared. stroke/aneurysm. Posted 4 years ago

I know right now is a scary time for everyone. I've always had anxiety about illness and coming into Covid has been it's own battle for me, as I'm sure it's been for many others.

Idk where else I can talk about this, so I'm going to talk about it here.

For a bit of context, I almost died from the flu when I was 14. I found out then that my white blood cell count is low. More tests for the year following showed it was still low, but no answers as to WHY. Never got an answer, but was taught to be extremely cautious when illness is going around. This was the only year of my life that my parents took me to doctors. I won't go into the personal stories about why.

My whole life since then, when I get sick i get SICK. A cold has me out of work for 2 weeks even though I can't afford it. When Covid first was announced to be in the US, I immediately quit my job because they didn't plan to close. I wasn't risking my life. My boyfriend, thankfully, was supportive and willing to take the financial hit for my health. He's the best. I'm talking the BEST.

Now that my city is hit so hard with Covid cases and my state's governor doesn't seem to want to fix it, I feel trapped. I haven't seen anyone outside of my household since MARCH. I've been unemployed and scared.

Fastforward to about a month ago. My blood pressure hit about 160/90. I was scared. This isn't normal. I made healthier choices, started eating less fast food and getting out of bed more. Because during this my depression got so bad and I couldn't go out anywhere so I just laid in bed all day. I gained about 40 Ibs since the pandemic started and I know my BP is my fault.

I went to a hospital because the google told me to. The doc said it wasn't stroke range so not to worry and to only come back if it was over 200/90 which is RIDICULOUS. He also said to watch for headaches and if I started having them to see a specialist and gave me a referral.

I stopped checking my BP out of fear and I now get migraines every day. I think my anxiety is getting the better of me though. I grind my teeth when I sleep now, since about 2 months ago when stress hit hard. I think I possibly have TMJ and it's causing the headaches and jaw aches. But I've just been medicating with dayquil/nyquil since I can't swallow pills well and it's basically just liquid acetaminophen. The pain went away last night when I kept reminding myself to RELAX MY JAW. but i still got a massive headache later. I have a twitching in my temple on top of it, which is supposedly a sign of blood clot. it's lasted 2 weeks now, you're supposed to see a doctor after a week of muscle spasms that don't stop, especially in your head.

I'm legitimately scared the twitching/head pain is a blood clot leading me to a stroke or aneurysm. This may seem crazy but the symptoms are all there, starting from high blood pressure.

I may be a hypochondriac and I'm willing to accept that diagnosis, but I have no way to receive it seeing as I can't afford a doctor outside of the ER who will not run the necessary tests to see if there actually is something wrong. I'm stuck in a loop where I'm trying to accept that I may or may not be about to have something very serious happen and there is no way to get help until it does.

It's driving me crazy.

Basically, I just want to get this all out there and know I said it to someone other than my boyfriend, who tries to make me worry less but accidentally makes me feel like he's not taking me seriously.

Has ANYONE ELSE worried something was wrong when they were fine? Please? I'd love reassurance but also understand if it isn't there.