Threats to kick me out over food..

Jolly

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Started as a small vent in another thread cause I didn't think it'd blow up this much.
My mom, out of nowhere, decides no one is allowed to eat unless they do so with the family, at the table.
Okay, weird since we're all grown ass adults on different schedules, but whatever.

Except that I'm supposed to be in self quarantine right now since there are 2 confirmed cases among my coworker/friends. One of which we know for a fact my bf was at work with recently before they found out.

I've mentioned this to some of you before but, I literally cannot risk my family getting sick with this virus. They make fun of me and act like I'm some crazy extremist, even while they literally have a PHYSICAL LETTER in their hands, from my little sister's doctor saying that if she contracts this, she WILL die. No if's or maybe's.
My parents lie all day about their own health as well. They wont even tell me what their doctors say. My dad had a seizure two weeks ago and they say he's the healthiest man ever. Bullshit.

So what if I'm a bit paranoid about breathing risks across a dinner table to 3 people who would suffer way more than I would if I caught it.
But when I ask why the sudden rules, did something happen ect. my mom absolutely lost her shit at me and my dad threatened to kick me out if I don't shut up and just obey. Said they're just waiting for me to move out and idk where this is coming from, I haven't done anything to piss them off? There has been no fights, no issues to my knowledge. I guess its just that time of year to get sick of my existence again. I guess they did try to kick me out last year too, just cause I'm "too old". It was the week of my birthday, go figure.

I'd love to move out but frankly, I can't. There's a reason I moved back in in the first place, and it wasn't out of choice.
But now I'm probably going to end up relapsing into anorexia again cause I'm not allowed to eat at all. They've put a full ban on me eating after they've gone to bed too. They're being VERY thorough about this and it's so abnormal. It's so controlling that even if I wasn't in quarantine, my instinct is to just say no, stop being ridiculous. Any time I eat at the table with them, I get harassed anyways. So I stopped doing that way back in highschool. I'm 28 now and still didn't even eat at tables when I DID live in my own place Dx

Totalanimefan

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@Jolly: wow. What the fuck? That’s abuse. I know we aren’t supposed to leave our homes but if there anyone else you can live with?
Also if they are asleep and you eat it in your room how are they supposed to know you ate something??

Lucifera

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@Jolly: okay okay, but hear me out... What if you stash food in your room? Regardless this shouldn't be happening and wow, what rectums. But, maybe if you get a chance to let someone on the outside know the sitch, and you have a window, you could have them bring you some nutritious food, and you can eat in your room, without anyone knowing? Possibly?

Or finding some way to satisfy them by eating with them, but like scooting your chair 6 feet away and telling them technically you're eating with them, but social distancing to ensure everyone is ok.

Otherwise, maybe it'd be possible for you to call a professional to deal with them? Depending on where you live, you could prolly call the popo and tell them what's up and they can give your fam a talking to. If it's the US, people prolly won't care. Canada is a bit more on top of it, and any euro country, from what I understand, will absolutely go ham and make sure rules are enforced.

But it's worth a shot to try something. You need food. It's not negotiable.

Totalanimefan

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I was wondering about calling the police but I didn’t know what they could do. Sounds like a good idea though.

inatlaka

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Sounds like my parents. The only solution would be to move away.

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Kozi

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@Jolly: As someone who suffered a lot of food-related abuse, I am seconding the food stashing.
It was literally the only thing that kept me alive.
They're showing that they value rules over your health. Start valuing your health more than their stupid rules.
Try to work with them if you must to keep the peace, but stash food at the same time.
Keep yourself safe.

Lucifera

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@Totalanimefan: The problem if it's the US (speaking from experience) most of the time, most areas you live in, will always side with the home owner/parent and just say f-you move out then. With COVID I'm wondering if there's something that could be done. Other places is different but idk the entire state of their surroundings to give too much advice. I'm just worried they will end up starving because of this.

Jolly

Friend PM Trade

@totalanimefan:
@lucifera:
I will make sure I don't starve at least. I did sneak food earlier today before all this and around midnight last night. I masked my lunch-cooking noises by doing the dishes at the same time. I do have them being hard-of-hearing on my side also. It is just frustrating and heartbreaking when they get so extreme about it. They get so personal and say really horrible things to me. I suffer a lot of anxiety over the years of their abusive behaviors. But yeah, here in the US, no one cares beyond saying "Sorry you have to deal with that. Maybe just dont"

The real problem I deal with is that I live in northern CO. It is incredibly expensive here and only recently, I was able to beat my anxiety enough to be able to drive without massive panic attacks. My bf and coworkers have been so helpful in rooting me on to succeed at that. So then I immediately joined a short-term college course (13 month) so I can get something useful under my belt and then I can finally book it into any direction. I only have about 6 months left to graduate, then I just need to take some big ol' test right after, and then I can qualify to work in most states as a massage therapist. Almost all states if I just take 1-2 additional classes.

I already tried moving into my bf's mom's house before when she was renting out her basement. I was making more money then, before my hours got cut this year, so we could afford it on both our wages. But she started acting strangely and then she kicked us out, saying she was selling the house. She was getting a divorce so we thought she needed space anyway. Then immediately after words, she got a new bf, said she wasn't selling the house but wont rent out anymore cause... well, she has a sugar daddy now. She didn't put it that way but that's what's up.

Basically, I don't want to rely on people anymore, cause I always end up with the carpet being pulled from under me. I've moved out a few times and people always end up selling their home, having a divorce, or something like that and I have to come back to my parents. I just need to find a way to endure this home until I don't have to anymore.

Jolly

Friend PM Trade

@kozi:
Thanks, yeah that's in my plans. Just grinning and bearing it as much as I can. Saving money and trying to make it to the end of my course.
Unfortunately their behaviors are why I've struggled to maintain healthy weight and eating habits (as in, eating at all) for the majority of my life. This time its "you have to eat with us even if you might be infected", last time it was "you're not allowed to use OUR kitchen at all cause I said so". Every time it is just different, but all the same "don't touch my home, don't exist" kind of logic.

Eventually they might forget about it and things return to normal. But then it can spring up at ANY given moment. Or it could be something unrelated to food. Basically, they can't be happy if they aren't harassing someone within the week.

Totalanimefan

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@Lucifera: Yeah I’m in the US too. I don’t know if COVID makes it any different.
@Jolly: That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Nice you are working after you get your degree you will make good money and be able to live with your BF or roommates. I’m so sorry that you are going through this right now. I don’t understand how they could do or say that shit.

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Kozi

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@Jolly: Try to get things like high-protein bars. The ones designed for workout meal replacements.
They hide well, are smallish, shelf-stable, and can help out a lot.
Drink lots of water with those, though.
Greens are harder to get, though, I struggled with veg and stuff.
Vitamin supplements are also super helpful.

Disclaimer: Not a doctor, just lived through some really weird sh**

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And oh my love, let us fly to bounty land~~

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Lucifera

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@Jolly: Get high-protein bars, and it sounds gross, but pediasure or something like that for nutrients and granola, peanuts, anything non-perishable you can stash that gives you sustenance. I want to say try and hide a minifridge and make you some eggs/rice to stash away if you can, but I feel like even that is unrealistic. If I could come down there and bring you all the food I would! This is so unfair and I honestly apologize for everything they are putting you through. that is such garbage. You shouldn't have to hide a basic human need.

do whatever you can. The cheapest place to live are places like texas, missouri is also pretty reasonable/cheap. But these are small-town type places I've grown up/lived in. If when your course ends you can book it, I truly would because this is unacceptable and I just.... ugh.

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FUZZY

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@Jolly: in my area, when a parent does something like this, and that person ends up not making it, they end up into troubles, so I must say get the cops involved. Because if anything if something does happen they may make a wellfare check to check up on you

I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you, but start stashing food if you can in your room.

If you can’t say something nice, Don’t say anything at all!

Jolly

Friend PM Trade

Thanks for all the advice and support. I wont call authorities, but I will be sure to take care of myself in any way I can.
I finished the night with a belly full of wine and buzzfeed unsolved episodes.
But this morning my bf and I spent a few hours contemplating our options. No matter what, I still have to finish my college course in 6 months and get my license. But after that we have plans to get out of here and move to the south. A goal I've had for a loooooooong time anyways.

I also had this drunk epiphany last night that could probably be true.
All these years, my fear of driving that was causing me anxiety/panic attacks, could be related to the overall anxiety I suffer from growing up in a weird household. One minute everything's fine and I forget why I think they're crazy, the next they snap again and its like whiplash mental abuse. They make me feel insane.
My only escape was to drive. But that created this grand fear of failure. I wasn't provided lessons of any sort, my parents refused to teach me or put me in driving schools. I had no help starting in life at all. Any time I had the option to get out of their home if only I could just drive, I'd end up with my typical panic attacks and get into an accident. My plans would crumble and I'd be useless.
I hope that I've come to the end of this cycle. I've improved more than ever.
And now if I am more aware of why I'm so scared of driving, that really its a fear of failure and being stuck in this home forever. Maybe I can find myself to fully overcome it.

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Forums Serious Talk Threats to kick me out over food..

Jolly

Totalanimefan

Lucifera

Totalanimefan

inatlaka

Kozi

Lucifera

Jolly

Jolly

Totalanimefan

Kozi

Lucifera

FUZZY

Jolly

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