@Jolly: thank you. That is good advice. I am still working because my job is essential and so that gives me contact but I also am spending time with podcasts. I love Brene Brown and also the spirits podcast among many others. Cookies sound nice too. Thank you for the hugs and concern.

Today has been rough. But I am doing what needs to be done. Things are being accomplished. Aside from some strongly worded messages and advice as to what would and wouldn't be in my best interest I am content, healthy, and continuing to press forward.

@Kozi: thank you. It is 4am here and I've yet to sleep. My anxiety is beginning to really get to me tonight. But I'm trying to chill. Today is my day off sorta. I have errands that I need to accomplish. Sigh. Thank you. I know I can do this. I can just still hear him yelling and glass shattering and I never know if he will show up or not. He came back once after being banned. Sigh.

@vengeance: @Alethna: banned as in the police take him off the property and told him he's not allowed back on it ever again. 🚔 As far as a restraining order goes I don't want to discuss that on here because that's more of a legal matter and I just don't feel comfortable with that.

But in the end today has been a bit of a rough day but my son I got a lot of things accomplished. 📋And things are coming together. I reached out and got helped. my son has reached out and got help. he says he doesn't need it, but he's doing it for me cuz I said you know sometimes down the road we've realized maybe we do need to talk to somebody so we both agreed that we were going to reach out.

I just have a feeling this isn't over yet. I'm trying not to be dwelling on things that I have no proof about, but I have a sneaking suspicion that not necessarily my ex but definitely his mother possibly other family members are going to want retribution seeing as how my ex is facing some major legal issues and financial problems. to be honest it doesn't make me happy at all. When I say I love somebody I love them I don't want to see them hurt I don't want to see them suffering. 😞 But I also know that actions have consequences and I can't speak to them right now and they probably don't need to speak to me and so even though there's things I could do to help I need my space and my son needs his space and we need our peace.

On a much lighter note, I'm really happy that I joined this group, this community. I did it in order to grow closer to somebody and what I've learned is that there's quite a few somebody's out there that I'm now pretty good friends with and that makes me smile. 😄 It definitely increases my gratitude. Just want to say that, .....with love. 💜💜