Long story but this past year starting from the first Saturday in January has been incredibly strained in terms of family relationships. i.e. I found out my uncle and cousin and my cousin's wife hate me and have done for like 3 years. They were spreading lies about me behind my back, giving me ultimatums and demands, and then simply ignoring me when I didn't listen.

The underlying reason is that my uncle wants grandma to sign her house over to them (now, while she's still alive) instead of 50/50 split with my mom after grandma passes. My mom literally told her brother: LOOK, DEED, WILL, TRUST, says 50/50!
And since I'm primary caregiver for grandma and I live at her house, they believe I'm supposed to do what they say since they believe the house belongs to them (it doesn't).

The fact that I basically ignored their demands means I'm being disrespectful to them and I have mental issues and I need to seek professional help (their quote). My cousin told me as much in his 33 pages of text messages in July. Yes, 33 pages, cuz I printed them out and passed them around.

But in October, my uncle got sudden kidney failure. He seriously almost died, was on dialysis for 2 months, and is recovering. The doctors don't know what caused it, they tested for cancer but the results were inconclusive. So they prescribed him chemo anyways just in case. He's doing much better, is off dialysis now, but it's still unsure at the moment.

My mom almost lost her brother and is suddenly gushing to placate him. She's even considering just signing over her 50% portion of the house to him just because she's tired of fighting. Even tho I'm the one that took care of grandma for the past 10+ years and he did bare minimum like bring her food periodically. We had Christmas dinner and I felt like I was very civil, but she's upset with me because I'm not embracing my uncle and not apologizing to him for all the stress they put me thru. She keeps telling me he's her only brother, how would I feel if I lost my brother?? Well, for one thing, my brother wasn't an @$$ to me. I told her outright I'm sorry uncle is sick but I'm not gonna be all fake and lovey dovey to them. (My dad is on my side, particularly because uncle hated on him too for 3 years as well.)

So, Voltra, any advice? What would you tell my mom? Family is just ugh.

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. You have no control over being a blood relation to someone who is clearly greedy, and if anyone ever tells you the half phrase, remind them of the whole. You are under no obligation to be kind to a relative, especially when they are like that.

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His illness does not erase the negativity he brought into your life.
Do not feel as though you owe him niceties. You do not.

Dont let her give in. Neither of you owe him a thing. As bloo stated, his sudden illness does NOT erase, nor should it excuse him of his negativity and manipulation. I would tell her that he doesnt deserve forgiveness, but thats me. He doesnt deserve it. Id go as far to say he doesnt even deserve the 50% of the estate. Again thats me.