Granted, but you will have no sleep

I wish for a happy day

Granted, but you wont be happy

I wish to go for a ski trip

Granted, but its always made with goats milk.

I wish for more friends.

@Kozi: Granted. Congratulations. You've been reborn as Marie Antoinette.

I wish for more feta cheese!

Granted! But that best friend becomes obsessed with you and they can't live without you not even for one minute in the day.

I wish I wasn't sleepy

Granted! But now it's lobster dinner every night for the rest of your life. No side dishes. Only lobster!!

I wish for this month's rare item

Millet, spilling the tea:

Granted! But you only ever get "started" and never progress from there. That damned writers block!

I wish my hair was more cooperative and less poofy. :(

Millet, spilling the tea:

Granted but you feel guilt for not taking the initiative to support your mental health and have to discuss that guilt next time instead of other more pressing matters.

I wish @Dowan: would dress me up and call me puppy

Millet, spilling the tea:

Granted, but your day ends by seeing my dehydrated body tied to the tree right outside your job and are obligated to
stick around and wait for a WHAMBULANCE.

I wish my cilantro plants would stop dying every year

Granted. You've brought about the next ice age. Maybe that squirrel can get his nut this time.

I wish I could have a long island iced tea.