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Forums Serious Talk Job rants, personality criticism

Voltie — she/her Posted 2 weeks ago ( 2022/09/15 14:25:48 )

I'm so tired.
this job holds more grudges than anyone. There was one incident last year where a customer screamed at me for 4 hours. FOUR HOURS. I remember mentioning it here later, but like, I stepped to the back room and broke down that day because I felt stuck in a moment I couldn't get out of. I was overwhelmed and frankly already had wonky hormones from my birth control at the time being too much for me.

I have had many customers scream at me since then and I didn't break. After quitting birth control this even became easier for me, as I'm not normally one to cry at work.

But still
my boss still brings it up to this day, more than a year later, and tells me I need to work on that. On not allowing a customer to get me that way. But what else could I have done? He was there that day and tried kicking her out too, and he ended up leaving the room leaving me with her, so it's not like he made an example.

Why are we still holding on to one moment?

I assumed it was because last week a man kept cursing and yelling at me for legit no reason, he started upon greeting. I left him alone, then when he wanted to buy a mattress, he freaked out at me more with every question I'm required to ask. This didnt shake me outwardly but his hostility scared me. When it came to loading out his mattress alone in the back, I was not comfortable. So I asked one of the guys if they could help me given they've been watching. My boss, dense as hell, said no because "you should be able to load out a queen mattress without help"
and I was like no that's not why I ask.
The other girl got annoyed with him and grabbed me like "I'll go with you at least so you're not alone"
I thought, yeah, that also works great. We went together, I got his mattress down. One of the other guys pushed our boss into understanding the situation and he came back like woops I get it now dw I'll go have a smoke right next to the load out spot so if he tries anything, I'm right there!

Ended up with no issues.

But he said I handled that just fine.

So why am I still having my personality criticized so much? I get this a lot already from the regional manager so I can only assume that he's feeding it into my boss's head. Cause my boss usually doesn't remember things very well, he's a 50+ yo adhd ipad kid. The regional manager however... he's been holding me back until my personality straight up changes. I have to be perfect in everything and never get shaken by anyone, no matter how much they threaten me.

I hate this company more than I can express, but I still have not found any other jobs that pay anywhere close to what I'm making, let alone enough to survive by.


Donator — She/Her Posted 2 weeks ago ( 2022/09/15 15:49:42 )
I'm so sorry you've been treated this way, and I hope you can find a better job soon. <3

I don't think people realize just how much behaviors affect others. You don't get anything done by tearing your coworkers down, other than giving them a reason to leave. This topic hit a nerve with me because I just learned yesterday that someone I've worked with for the last 5 years is leaving the company for the same reason. She was tired of being abused by her bosses. I didn't press her for detail, and it crushed me to find out, but I completely understand and only hope the best for her. Someone else I've worked with for almost the last 7 years quit for the same reason. The management style has changed so much over these almost 7 years I've been with the company, and it's scary. I get that the pandemic changed everyone, but if we can't lift each other up, how are we going to move forward? That's what gets me the most. </3

Voltie — she/her Posted 2 weeks ago ( 2022/09/15 16:31:03 )

I can't blame my boss, because in this situation, I know he thought he was being supportive to me. He's a dense ipad kid lol but really to get to his position in this company, you really have to drink the koolaid. He's very easily brainwashed. He just ends up being the face to aggravate me when it's actually someone else's words. more times than not

But yeah, I'm sorry to hear for that employee. it's really very depressing to put up with the idea that because of something as uncontrollable as your own personality, you can't succeed. I've been held back from promotions so much for basically having emotions. If I huff at a situation for a moment, even if I end up resolving it in a calm nature way, and improve, my regional manager still brings it up many months later as a reason to reject me moving up.

At this point I wonder if he wants me to quit?
Although I make the company a ton of money so that doesn't even make sense lol


Voltie — she/her Posted 2 weeks ago ( 2022/09/15 16:42:33 )

I've been on a life long debate on what should I do for a living? I'm too weak for heavy lifting jobs, I seem to have sensory issues which make driving difficult and phobic-level scary for me. So I can't go into big manual labor or delivery jobs, or jobs that require driving around all day, which is like 90% of job ads here.
The rest are hospital stuff that even if I went through school for that, it doesn't pay enough, and it's not a line of work that I would like at all.

There's kinda no path for me it feels like. So I put up with narrow minded old dudes in this cultlike company :T


Donator — She/Her Posted 2 weeks ago ( 2022/09/16 00:08:18 )
@Jolly: Yeah that really doesn't sound like a healthy work environment, and I hope that things get better for you soon, whether you end up finding another job or their management style gets better, or if they leave, even.

I can relate to not knowing what you want to do with your life. I wish I could help, but I'm not a very creative mind to begin with. You do sales for now, so what about doing that in a different industry? It could pay well depending on where you choose, and it doesn't have to be labor intensive (physically).

Voltie — she/her Posted 2 weeks ago ( 2022/09/16 02:20:58 )

I'm hoping there might be another shift in regions. my regional manager's boss just retired very suddenly, and this company only promotes from within. So if one of the regional managers moves up to take his spot, that might cause a shift and MAYBE I'll end up under someone elseee? Our store USED to belong to a different region before a shift 2 years ago so and we were under a really cool manager. I can only hope to have her back

I actually talked to my mom after this thread, and she gave a pretty good tip to aim for government positions. They dont tend to pop up on normal job search sites so I will be doing research to figure out what I might get into if this current job isn't a fit for me <3


Donator — She/Her Posted 1 week ago ( 2022/09/20 23:31:59 )
@Jolly: Change in management is always interesting, so hopefully it turns out for the better in your company.

Government jobs are a great tip to check out. I'd imagine they offer good benefits like insurance and such, which I don't know if you get where you're currently at. Plus they should be easy to get into if you don't have anything fishy on a background check. Part of me wonders how I'd do in a government job, buuuut I'd have to do my research as well.

Voltie — she/her Posted 7 days ago ( 2022/09/21 21:32:48 )

Yeah, good benefits would be nice. My job has benefits but they're not a great fit for me either. Not the worst I've seen, but a 4500 deductible and it doesn't cover birth control or mental health at all... I'm not a fan XD

I also just found out 5 min ago that when we get PTO they don't tell us by how many hours, they tell us how many "days" we have of it. but even though we work 11 hour shifts our PTO only pays for 8 hours
Gotta love it.

I need to get started on gov job research soon :,,)
it's hard to commit to changing jobs, kinda scary when your home depends on your income being stable and good


Donator — She/Her Posted 6 days ago ( 2022/09/23 00:18:41 )
@Jolly: Yeah some health insurance options for work are pretty crummy, and honestly some are blatantly meant to discourage anyone from enrolling family members under their plan. Employee pricing might be dandy, but adding kids? Forget about it!

Our PTO is similar in that we can only pay it in 8-hour days, but at least we can see how many hours we've accrued. So for example, if someone needs all 51 hours of their PTO, I can divide it up into 7 days, with 6 of them being 8 hours each and the last being the remaining 3 hours.

A couple things I'd research for government jobs--how long do you have to enroll in your benefits? For a lot of companies, you have 60 days to enroll, but some may be more or less. Also, what happens if we have another government shutdown? xP Do you get paid even though you technically can't work because people can't just get along??
Please call me Aisu or Kohi if you like!
Quest Thread

Voltie — she/her Posted 5 days ago ( 2022/09/23 22:02:16 )

GOD i forgot about government shut downs. My husband works full time and his boss wants to move him up to a management position in about 5 months. So I'd be fine if it's not for like.. months XD
But yes, this is a good one to consider for sure.

No matter what I'd do I may take a pay cut, but I'm already losing 10k of my wage this year just based on economy and I'm a commission worker. no bueno


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