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Forums Serious Talk Low energy, no motivation

Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/27 01:32:40 )


I used to be real good at just telling myself "Do it and do it now or it wont get done" and that was enough! No matter how much I didnt wanna, I would just huff, get up, and do it. Whether thats drawing, working out, going on a walk, chores, cooking, ect. I used to be great at "just do it".
If there was an idea I had, a project I wanted to do, something like that. I'd just GO FOR IT.

WHAT HAPPENED

I realize how lazy I've become. I blame a lot of it on my job, since I do spend the majority of my time there, and there's a lot of sitting involved. I sit more than I've ever sat before, I swear. And I get so caught up in these depressive cycles from a lot of the stress from work and the corruption of the cult company that I work for. The 11+ hour shifts get to me more than anything, so by the time I get home my soul just feels so empty. Even if depression is due to a displeasure in my career, its not helped when I cant get off my arse when I'm at home either cause I couldn't shake off the work week. I've become a sloth! When I need to clean I just sit there and push it off. Thats never been me before, not to this extent where I seem to just sit there :vanora_upsidedown:
If I ever pushed something off in the past it was cause I was DOING something and I didn't wanna stop DOING. Now its just cause I can't motivate myself to get up.

I've been trying to find a different job all year, but there's really nothing out there for me that I could pay my bills with. That and after watching my husband's experience (particularly in this area) when he was job hunting, MOST interviews lied to him about hours, position and wage. He would be promised a livable wage at full time but end up being scheduled only 8-15 hours a week, getting paid in dirt. One actually tried to make him work during the interview, unpaid! If I try to switch careers and that happened to me, we'd lose our home.

I think the realization that I'm stuck in something that is consuming me so badly is really getting to me. I feel like I can't live. But I wanna do so much more outside this job!
I need to learn how to at least enjoy my weekends when I'm not at work! Or figure out how to use my 1-2 days of free time each week to be more productive towards either my hobbies or my future, or both.


Anyway, how to stop being a potato 101
lets talk about it :vanora_xd:

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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/27 01:42:45 )


One example like
Im home from work today because I got real sick from a sinus infection bordering on an acute bronchitis kind of thing (allergies, happened the same time last year too)
I decided to rest
so I lay on the sofa like, all day.
tried playing games and then decided ah this game might be too strenuous, so I watched things instead.
I'm not good at just sitting still doing nothing. Which is what you're supposed to do lol

I thought "this doesn't feel good, my brain is becoming mush. Even if my body is becoming more stable.
I should read my books that I've pushed off for so long"

This way my brain can feel better and my body still rests.


... I didn't do it tho
WHY DIDN'T I READ MY BOOKS
I just flat out immediately forgot as soon as I thought about it ????

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Donator — She/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/27 06:08:41 )


I would say you aren’t lazy. You still do a lot even if it isn’t everything on your list. 11+ hour work days are just too much. There is a reason why most only work 8. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
I find as I get older (and I’m only 31) I don’t have as much energy physically and mentally to do everything on my list. And if I work really hard in one day, I pay for it the next day so it all evens out anyway.

So long story short, it’s probably a lot of small factors that are hard to pinpoint and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for that.


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Voltie — They/He Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/28 00:46:32 )


That is not laziness, that is burnout, which is caused by overworking yourself to the point of depression. I have the "long-term version" of burnout; Executive Dysfunction, a symptom of chronic depression.

It's something you have to work around. As much as you may want to get a task done and out of the way, forcing it is only going to exhaust you more. Figure out what your brain will let you do and do that, and once you have the energy and motivation, take advantage of that to be productive. Just don't force it, it will not go well.




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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/28 01:19:40 )


@Totalanimefan:
I think it bothers me most because all of my energy is spent on doing things I don't like to do. So I can't do the things I like to do as much. ;;


@Clementine:
I thought about switching my schedule, but thats real hard to get behind D:
Getting up any earlier than 7am is a horrendous thought lmao


@MaxIsConfused:
I appreciate everyone validating the same reasoning ;;
I always forget its really just a major burnout rather than me not working hard enough. I definitely do not enjoy this executive dysfunction idea if that is what I deal with, cause it is so much more rewarding to get things done!


I gotta find a new balance I suppose! I'm so bad at set routines cause I'm like, naturally inconsistent XD
cant do the same thing at the same time every day/week or I go mad

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Voltie — They/He Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/28 02:39:44 )


@Jolly: you only gotta worry about it being executive dysfunction if you don't recover from it after a few (3+) weeks. If that ends up happening, you may wanna talk with a psychiatrist because of the depression symptoms.



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Donator — She/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/28 04:44:29 )


@Jolly: yes I totally agree. I hope you can feel better soon.

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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/28 21:06:24 )


@MaxIsConfused:
Oh gotcha
it isn't that bad then, I might get this way for about 3 weeks but then I'll flip and be ok for a couple weeks. kinda just flips and flops

I just hate when it flops super hard 😪
that lethargic feeling
blech

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Voltie — They/He Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/29 05:04:35 )


@Jolly: sounds like you keep burnin yourself out-- You should probably try to work on not doing that if it keeps happening.



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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/08/29 15:51:52 )


@MaxIsConfused:
Maybe so, I do tend to binge my projects cause I only have 1 day to work on them.
I'm trying to work on building up some realistic goals for how to cut down my work schedule so I have a little bit more free time to balance with things I want to do, without cramming them in. It doesn't help that I'm impatient by nature so I don't pace my crafting very well XD

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