Self help and healthy routines

Jolly

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(Update: You all are wonderful as always <3 I've had a week of feeling better, so here's to trying new routines)

Therapy is seemingly forever out of my reach, no matter how hard I work for it. Even the "cheapest" of options is still just too much for my wallet to handle. But I didn't wanna pop on here to complain about mental health system.

I'm real bad at routines and healthy habits, but I still wanted to ask anyways. Like maybe there's something simple, like a phone app or a book, or a specific kind of journal (not the diary kinds) that have helped you or seem helpful in working on inner peace?

I know I need to learn how to let things go, I feel that so many things have piled and stacked on my shoulders that its always as if I have a mountain on my back. Its almost like a curse.
Unloading by talking about my problems seems the opposite of helpful, so for this maybe therapy isn't exactly what I want. Heck, maybe I just need a job that I'm not gone 12 hours a day. But thats a distant goal :vanora_sweat: And frankly, as much as I blame my stress on working too much, I don't think that's actually the main factor to my mental health. I think its a variety of things, and a lot of it is just internal.

Or maybe I'm wrong and work really is breaking me down too much? I don't have much choice with that, anyways. Not a good time to bounce careers. So I ought to balance my brain so I can endure these things.

Definitely one factor is my diet, which is probably another thing I need to work on with all my strength. I have always had a really bad food aversion issue. I love love veggies, can't get enough of them. Noodles, pasta, rice are all so easy for me to eat even when I'm having a really bad aversion day. But as my overall mental health shrinks, my desire to eat also does. It gets difficult. I can hardly stomach meat anymore, with all the fatty gritty chewy textures it gets. I always hated seafood but I want so badly to like it, cause that could eliminate a lot of the texture issue ;; and its good for mind and body. Its also lean.

I'm rambling a bit though!
Share with me any ideas you may have for self help practices?
I may be gone at work 12 hours a day but sometimes I can bring things to my job if its portable enough. I actually need to practice doing more things for myself on my downtime at work, cause some of where my physical health keeps slipping is cause I usually care for that at home. But at work I dont, I just sit and play Mystic Mansion all day. ineedtostop. ;v;'''

Totalanimefan

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@Jolly: I'm not a therapist obvs, but there are some things that therapy can't fix. You can learn how to adapt to your environment with therapy, I guess you could say it will teach you how to roll with the punches.
But sometimes you have change your environment to be better mentally, of course that's not always possible either. 12 hour work days, and stress from money problems/lack of money is not sustainable in the long term. And I'm not blaming you, rent should be cheaper and wages should be better. I just want you to know that it's not 'your fault' for feeling the way that you do. There is only so much that a person can handle mentally.

And as for more direct advice, I like journaling. Every night or every other night you could write down about the events of the day and try to insert how you are feeling instead of just stating facts. After I highlight my emotions or anything that was a big deal to me. Like I might highlight the name of the class that I just passed and I would also highlight that hanging out with a friend made me happy. It makes the journal look pretty, but also helps me understand where I'm at mentally. It's also something you might be able to go over with a therapist if you are able to see one.

Jolly

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@Totalanimefan:
I could never figure out how to journal. Ive always been terrible about writing diaries because I feel like I'm bringing myself back to what has passed and sitting in it. My brain does that all day long, but by writing it I feel I'm just immortalizing the day. I dont know how to make it work I guess, my brain might just be too negative in how I think about it ;;

But obviously my methods don't work either. I just try to take breaths and tell myself I can do it, and just keep charging through the day. Yearning for the hour when I get to go back home. But then at home time gets ruined every time because I have so many other things I've been trying to deal with that keep going wrong. Doctors being dumb, incorrect bills I have to fight, usps of all things creating problems for me too. Its endless. I just had a 3 day weekend where I tried, SO, HARD, to do just have at least a half day to play video games with my partner and not think about anything else. But so much went wrong, we didn't even have time. I almost didn't have a PC either, cause the one I got came broken so I had to run an hour out of town to exchange it. Every task takes like hours of my day and then I end up fuming for even more cause I failed to relax again.

I've begun grinding my teeth at night and I can feel it :vanora_stunned:
idk how to just snap out of it

Jolly

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Even right now I'm getting so pent up with anger
I lost a serial number to my art program
left my ipad charger at work
so all in all, cant digital draw at all like I had planned to until I get that number, but it was a gift so idk if the support team will even be able to help ;;;;;;
tv from the neighbors upstairs is so very very loud.
I just cant relax

Totalanimefan

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@Jolly: Yeah I was always pretty bad at it too until I realized that there is no ‘right’ way. You just write what you want and whatever you want haha. Some days I have a lot to say, and some I just write like 3 sentences.

You have a lot on your plate now. I don’t think that you should beat yourself up for the way that you feel atm. Everyone feels stressed and unable to relax when life is throwing a lot at them. As for the teeth grinding, please see a dentist about that. You can get a sleep guard for it. Your teeth don’t grow back. ^^;

It’s just all overwhelming and a lot right now. Accept that is life right now, and it’s ok to feel how you feel. -hugs-

Kairu

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- write a list of all your troubles. even if its abstract (in the mind) also. even also looks too (physical issue)

- then try categorize them by psychological, physical, and how severe it is to you (ok, bad, too much etc)

- pick one of them that you think is solvable. and start commit to that one issue.

- if it works well, good! If it's not, try again or find another that seems solvable to you.

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keep it up. Eventually you will find something to focus all your energy on instead. goaling is to attempt self-therapy until you are able to get a psychologist that you can afford or something

---
eg:
(mindset) accepting my scenarios
(mindset) unable to forgive easily (deep trauma)
(mindset) bad habit of judging "familiar" people (linking to warped past)
(physical) not confident in my appearance
(physical) weight and immobility
(mindset) losing self-independence (due to self-hurt of multiple actions from the past to present)
(social) alone and having no company
(social) feeling of not belonging
(physical/location) I have no place of privacy (rent room with others)
(financial) finances are limited atm
(mindset) delusions are hard to deal at times
(mindset/social) needed someone to talk to regularly
(physical/mindset/illness) sleep apnoea treatment needed (lack of sleep)

then categorise it.. then set how bad is it or which needed to be look at first

when its organised in a way that you can see it all in macro view, then you pick what you wanna try out first. i picked:

(physical/mindset/illness) sleep apnoea treatment needed (lack of sleep) *big need* 1.)
(physical) not confident in my appearance *when I got the machine for sleep and resumed my cycle of working in the office* 3.)
(physical) weight and immobility *physio help on right leg and eating portions, dealing with meal plan with dietician* 2.)

i hope this helps!

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Totalanimefan

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@Kairu: Wow that's great advice! ^^

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Jolly

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These are all real helpful advices ;v;
tyty
I'll definitely see a dentist when I can to help with the teeth grinding. I looked at teeth guards but I have two bottom "fangs" that are not aligned, so the normal guards may not fit right (I wanna try but they're also insanely priced for something that might not fit!)
I only need something for my back molars >> maybe something exists that doesn't need to wrap around my whole jaw?

Anyway, I do wanna try Kaira's suggestions too. I think it does sound helpful to categorize my thoughts and organize them in a structured fashion.
I do this when I want too many "things" like material items. It helps me not impulse buy XD

@koneko:
"Without fixing the sources of stress it’s almost more stressful to force yourself to eat."
YES to this so much. Food only becomes easy when my mind is not in scrambles. ;;
I like what you mention a lot too. The closest I've gotten to journalling so far is using that Finch app. Found that after posting htis thread and it kiiiind of helps? It asks me questions and I either answer or dont if I dont feel like it. I'm a bit choosey cause I prefer the bullet points than paragraphs. I'm also too lazy to explain anything I write about, so very vague. But I have my husband doing it with me (he's also looking for self help for depression) and I think it is helping him more than me. That makes me happy~

Either way, I am proud of you for being able to help yourself in these ways. Its such a hard thing to keep up with long term or routinely. My husband is better at routines than I am so he's trying to help me keep on track with it. I may need to start setting alarms haha

Jolly

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OH one thing that may help a lot with my mental health
next week I'm finally getting my bc implant removed :vanora_cry: :vanora_cry: :vanora_cry: :vanora_cry:
TOOK SO LONG to get to this point
but SOON my body will no longer be scientifically modified (lmao)

I will be taking a few weeks before I start on bc pills to allow my body to just. be.
I'll probably have a big ol hormone freak out until I balance again. I'm curious to see how well my body and mind may bounce back?

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Forums Serious Talk Self help and healthy routines

Jolly

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