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Never in my professional or personal life have I ever seen someone transform themselves or their life NOT starting in pain.

Emotional pain. Mental pain. Physical pain. Spiritual pain.

Only when they decided they had had enough. When they listened to what that pain was trying to tell them. “This is not what life is meant to be. You are worth more than this.”

Only then did they take action to make a change.

If you’re stuck in pain right now. Listen to that pain. What is it telling you? What is it signaling you to do?

What if now was the time for you to take that pain and use it to motivate you towards something better? Like a phoenix rising from the ashes to fly towards greatness.

Your pain could be your greatest gift.

If you let it.

Thoughts?

@Xanthan: I think you're absolutely right. Pain in one form or another is a great motivator for change ... if you only take the time to reflect upon what you're feeling, why, and figure out what you want to do differently. If you don't take the time to reflect upon it and actively choose a different course of action, the pain tends to come out violently and erratically... which doesn't tend to go well most of the time (in my experience anyway)

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@Count Trashula: in my experience you can do one of two things. Go straight up or sideways. You can let it get the best of you and wear you down until you give up or give in....or you can continue your fight to get out until you have the strength, resources, and opportunity to do so successfully. In the meantime though your friend should reach out to others and share what's going on. There are resources available for all types of pain and all types of removal from those pains. As a life coach I have helped people to get out, pick themselves back up, and to rebuild by connecting them with resources. Reach out, help your friend, there's help and hope in some of the most unlikely places.

@Wildfire: so very true. That's why hurt people end up hurting people. It is also why addiction is a cycle and one that can run for generations. There are many reasons why people do not escape their pain when they need to or first realize it, but one thing we always have control over is how we react to those things life throws at us. We can't control others nor their mouths and opinions and we can't get them to keep their hands to themselves. But we can choose how we react and deal with it.

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@Wildfire: I don't always view victimization as a bad thing. I believe it is real and has a place. For instance, people from my past have, we'll let's say they had a hard time keeping their hands off me and to themselves. I am a victim. I carried that with me for a long time and took it to a very dark place at times. I now try to turn to that for strength. I still hurt and my mind can be a warzone at times. When these things first happened and even the second time and third I wasn't aware of how to act or react. I am a cismale and we aren't victims. We don't get abused. We don't talk about these things. We don't. Later on in life I learned that we do. And we can. And I will. So, victimization isn't necessarily a bad thing. And I don't think when it is legitimate that we allow ourselves to be victimized. Though I do know some who like to play victim in their own lives. Nothing is ever their fault. Always someone else wronging them. Both the hero and the victim in their life story yet 0 accountability. So...I can see many sides to this just as in life very little is strictly black or white.

And I am truly sorry to learn that you have had some of the experiences you have apparently had. :(

I understand. I too was just trying to be clear - I have had people misunderstand me concerning this topic in the past, and dealing with victimization can be a long, tough road to walk even for those who choose not to let the experience(s) define them.