Saeyra's posts
Posted in New~
Posted 6 years ago



Posted in Chibi beans [♛] open
Posted 6 years ago

And yeah! Exactly! You are absolutely right. It didn't really help at all that he was in an urn and not a coffin. He wasn't..person-shaped? So my brain was like "naaaaah thats not him, that's just a jar"
Two people gave speeches at the funeral and they could barely speak, the speeches were really short. I wish I had the strength and command of the Croatian language to make a speech too because I felt like they only saw one side of him, the side of him that goes to work and talks about hobbies. They didn't see how he was with his family. He wasn't much different but he had more layers than what he showed to most people. He had the stupidest dad jokes ever and he kept telling the same ones over and over even if they weren't even that funny haha. On our birthdays he would do this formal handshake thing where he wished us health, happiness and luck. We would always roll our eyes when he did it because it felt really silly but he insisted on doing it every year. He would hold out his hand expectantly and have that silly twinkle in his eye like "you know what time it is" and we would just shake our heads and laugh before going through the whole thing awkwardly. Y'know, that kinda stuff...
The thing my husband and I are most broken up about is that he never got to meet his grandkids. We both know he would go absolutely crazy about them and they would be crazy about him. All we can do now is tell them stories about him but its never gonna be enough..
Its abit silly cos they don't even exist yet except in our imagination but we took it for granted that it was what our future was gonna look like..

Posted in Yo!
Posted 6 years ago




Posted in Chibi beans [♛] open
Posted 6 years ago

Well there was alot of people at the funeral. His coworkers from work took 2 whole vans.
The army being there and giving the gun salute and flag ceremony was really cool.
I am still kinda torn on funerals. It was super painful for his mom to watch him get buried..I didnt feel any closure but it was nice to see a whole crowd of people who really cared about him. Plus the country paid their respects to a good man. My brain still doesn't believe he is dead..I thought the funeral would help but it didn't.
It was a really short affair. Less than 2 hrs. But the day was sunny and beautiful and that really helps imagining he is somewhere happy and smiling..

Posted in obligatory "first post"
Posted 6 years ago



Posted in wanna see my cat fetch?
Posted 6 years ago



Posted in obligatory "first post"
Posted 6 years ago



Posted in I feel like trash
Posted 6 years ago


Posted in Post ITT and I'll sing to you
Posted 6 years ago


Posted in Chibi beans [♛] open
Posted 6 years ago

I am glad she is doing better now though

I have no strong opinions on funerals yet. I'll let you know after this one..I have been to a few before, one was a mother who lost a son and the other a daughter who lost a mother..it was extremely sad to watch both times and I am kinda dreading watching my husband go through it and experiencing it myself.. I so far just hate that they call it a final goodbye when you aren't really ready to say goodbye yet...
We ordered the flowers today. Its gonna be white and red roses so I think it's gonna be beautiful at least. He was a soldier for awhile and fought in a war so he is gonna get the gun salute and the folded flag ceremony from the army. The other nice thing is the army is helping us pay for the funeral so that's a huge relief.


Posted in Chibi beans [♛] open
Posted 6 years ago

My husband's gramma is having the toughest time I think. She has to bury her son. And she is still living in the same house he did and all his stuff is everywhere. Today she had to go through photographs of him to choose one for the funeral. She is...*sigh* i don't even know if I have the words to explain how much pain she is in right now..
Thanks for listening to all this. I know it is depressing and stressful..I just have to tell someone..yknow. .writing it all out kinda helps abit...

Posted in I feel like trash
Posted 6 years ago


Posted in h e l p (needles)
Posted 6 years ago

I am not sure if this will help you but that's how I would handle it if it were me. I hate needles too and if I had to stab myself with one I would be super anxious as well. Hell I couldn't even give myself eyedrops. I needed someone to help me with that coz I would hold my breath trying not to blink and pass out.

Posted in Chibi beans [♛] open
Posted 6 years ago

Sorry I am telling you all this..you are easy to talk to...
