Minerva's posts

I'm the same. It often feels weird, perhaps too formal or personal, to call people their names; especially if I don't know them well. So I typically open conversations just by talking, or with physical cues, and refer to people by nicknames.

It works pretty well tbh since my coworkers know I mean business if I call them by their real name as opposed to a nickname. xD Kind of like when a parent uses your full name.

@Totalanimefan: Went to sleep by 2 last night, so I guess it was just a fluke. c': And my work schedule has finally stabilised so now I can get a steady routine going. |D


@Kory: Tbh I wish I could do that. The one time I successfully pulled an all-nighter and went to work the next day, I was an absolute zombie and kept sneaking into the breakroom to put my head down. Of course by the time I went home I got that second wind and didn't feel like sleeping anymore... >:C

@Count Trashula: Being strictly diurnal is a fairly recent thing in human culture, too. I wish it were still "normal" to be up and about at 3AM without it being a) a party or b) graveyard shift. xD Sounds like you'd be well suited to a big city that never sleeps, though!

@Koah: Yeah he thought it was like 1:30 AM and I just kinda chuckled, knowing full-well that both movies were 2h each. c':

I almost felt cheated, expecting to wake up at like 10AM. But I guess I'm thankful I still got to keep my day and didn't really feel like crap once I started moving around.

koneko has offered some really good advice and there's not much I can add that'll do any good.

I can say that I relate. My family, bf's family, and bf all want us to have kids...and I'm not necessarily opposed to the idea but it scares the ever-loving crap out of me, from carrying to delivery to rearing. I have a lot of problems and zero self-control and fear what kind of mother I would be. :c And to think people just...casually, even accidentally, do it on the regular! Like bRo there's a whole little PERSON in there.

There is the possibility of preserving some eggs and trying in-vitro or surrogate conception down the road, though! If nothing else it's an idea to throw around.

Can you pinpoint any people or things that might be the source of your anxiety? I.e. do you feel any pressure from your family about having kids? You seem pretty resolute in your decision, so I'm inclined to believe your anxiety is more so coming from satisfying the expectations of your family, or for instance the people you've mentioned who expressed their regrets.

I feel like older folks (even people who are only marginally older) have a tendency to project themselves onto younger people in terms of what we'll regret, what we should / shouldn't do, yadda yadda... And of course there's something to be said with the wisdom that comes with age, but... It's kind of like the tattoos debacle. Bring it up in a crowd and there will always be people who say "Don't do it! You'll regret it!" but those people, 90% of the time, don't even have tattoos, or got really cheap / cringe tattoos that wouldn't look good on anyone. (Contrived but you get my point.)

That being said, I also have to wonder if you're bound up in knots about it because part of you does want to have a child, but have spent years with the expectation that it would never happen, and it's a piece that doesn't necessarily fit into your Life Puzzle right now. (I'm sorry if that crosses a line or makes you feel worse D: but I do think it's a question to ask yourself). Thankfully, though, life is fluid.

Figuring out the root of your anxiety can help you find the next step to figuring out the whole issue itself. So I definitely second koneko's suggestions of looking into all the nitty gritty, immersing yourself in it, imagining yourself in all the best and worst spots of it.

Either way, I hope you're able to get some answers and put your anxiety at ease. <3 Good luck.

@Totalanimefan: Yeah looking back it was kinda fun and dare I say "quirky" since he's usually asleep / going to sleep when I get home, and I'm usually down for the count within an hour or two! But I'm usually up around 6:30/7 so can't play that game any more c':

@StarBoy: Sweet dreams! I love sleeping but also wish I could just skip it every now and then. c': So many things to do, and the only thing slowing me down is fatigue!

So I got home from work last night around midnight and neither the bf nor I felt like going to sleep yet, so we picked a movie on Hulu and grabbed some snacks expecting to fall asleep before it was over.

But we made it through the whole thing so I just absently picked another for some background noise thinking "yeah, I'm gonna get sleepy and just pass right out"

Nope, we finished that one too

Cut to me joking about how "I'm turning this off now cause it's probably like 4 am and we should sleep"

and what do you know,

IT WAS 4 AM and neither of us had slept except for me dozing off for about 45 minutes at one point.

So there's the story all about how we accidentally (almost) pulled an all-nighter. Haven't stayed up that late since I was a teenager |D

Still couldn't sleep past 8 AM smdh

@Miss Sandman: Do you still need it? I have one I'm willing to part with. c:

@nyreen: It was APC I missed c': They were just at KFMA Day, though they're kicking off a tour if I'm not mistaken...
does that mean we live close to each other? xD

Second what Baby said... I can't believe we're almost halfway through 2018 Q-Q time, y'all need to chill out and slow down dude

Congrats on getting to go see your favourite (or one of them) musician! Concerts are amazing, especially when the performers do special little things from show to show. Alas, the only concert I was super stoked about (for the time being, anyway) just passed a week ago, and I didn't get to go :C but A Perfect Circle just dropped a new album, and I have yet to hear most of it, so there's that. cB