to snoop or not to snoop, that is the question

Seionshi

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so over on another site, there was a thread where someone had snooped through their boyfriends' phone and found out he was cheating. quite a large number of people were saying that the OP was horrible for snooping, and to me that just seems really wrong.

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with snooping.
1- It's not snooping if your partner gives you permission to look through their things whenever/gives you their password/etc.
2- It's fair if you allow them to look through your stuff as well.

I personally see no need to hide anything on my phone or pc from my partner, because I have nothing to hide. He's the same way. If you feel like you have to hide things or as if it's a privacy invasion, then I feel like you're probably doing something wrong. Privacy is important, of course, but when it comes to your partner, (if you've been together for a decent length of time, like a few months) then why would you need that much privacy? Privacy using the bathroom or something personal like that- I understand. But if you have nothing to hide, then it shouldn't even be an issue.

What's your stance on this? And why?

Taffy

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Snooping isn’t good to be however it’s nothing compared to cheating and it’s not even an issue when you find the cheating.

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Alexis

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I understand that its wrong to snoop because its important to trust your partner. I also get that you shouldnt need to hide things from your partner. The op and the bf are both in the wrong, but the fact that hes cheating is just worse.

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Laufeia

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yeah I agree with you...if you are both comfortable with it it’s fine. Not that big of a deal...I am just really open about the stuff on my phone or whatever.. I know everyone isn’t like that... and especially since they found out they were cheating. I know what that’s like and I’d rather find out about it then continue being ignorant of it. Maybe they picked up on something or felt like something was off. People do kind of have a sixth sense. I think that simply snooping around without their knowledge is a slight invasion of privacy...but obviously there is no trust in this specific relationship from either party..I hope they can move on and hopefully be with someone they trust. It sounds like they have insecurities, probably from their past experiences. It definitely isn’t healthy and it does kinda drive you crazy when something like that happens. :/ trust is key. I struggle with that myself.

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Tsundererra

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I think people who resort to snooping are insecure because of the shady way their partner behaves or because they’ve been cheated on before. With that said, I don’t think it’s a good thing to do because it will just lead you to being more insecure and looking crazy obsessed in future relationships. /: If you see signs of cheating, and they’re refusing to let you look at their phone/computer when you ask, move along before you find out and get hurt.

I also think cheating is one of the scummiest things to do, and they’re the reasons why their partner feels the need to even do that instead of just trusting them, and will prolly keep doing it to future partners regardless of if they’re acting shady or not. /: It’s healthier just to be open and build that trust... and be faithful.