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Forums Serious Talk My boyfriends dad died....

Donator — She/Her Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/08/20 00:25:47 )

"I haven't seen my boyfriend in a month and that is do to his dad being on his death bed, plus work... I am the understanding girlfriend and he talk to me everyday, and sometimes even though I feel he may not miss me, he surprises me and says he does. I think just so much going on, of course he won't be as active with me as he would probably like and I completely understand. I gave him space and just yesterday his dad passed a way. It was months of struggle and he finally decided hospice was the only decision. From watching a far, I see the strain of it on both my boyfriend and his mother, considering his father is a very stubborn man, and with that came consequences. He delayed surgeries that could have prevented cancer from spreading, gave both my boyfriend and his wife a hard time etc.... Even all that, they loved him and I would too if I known him. I am sure as sad as it is and wishing for a different out comes, there is a sense of relief. It was the same with grandmother who recently passed.... It was hard on everyone making trips back and forth, delaying the inevitable and finally my grandfather said she most move on. I get it and understand it, also knowing my mom's mom aka NANA , who I lived with passing away in the house.... I know the pain and agony and also the relief as well. I am sure a part of him (small that it is) is saying he has freedom now to breathe and be more flexible. It hurts and will be painful, however we all have that part of us that feels a sense of freedom and releif.... Freedom as in being able to close that chapter and move on and relief knowing that person isn't hurting anymore. Right now he wished me good morning earlier and that was it. I know he will call or message me tonight, he seems to be always making sure I am okay, even if I should be concerned about him and he should be concerned about other things. I feel awful it fell this way. We planned on having family get together, a child etc.... It is hurtful thinking his father won't be around, however life is like that and all we can do is move forward."


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Donator — Fujoshi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/08/20 00:56:25 )
TSUN TSUN TSUN (︿)




I am so sorry for your boyfriend’s (and also in a way, your) loss. You both have been so mature and understanding throughout this whole painful situation. It takes strength to give the one you love space even though you miss him and worry about him. Your boyfriend also has a wonderful heart to keep you in mind even though he just went through something incredibly painful. It’s easy to get sucked up in that pain and shut out everyone, but bless him for trying with you. I’m sorry that his father won’t be there to see all the big things you’ll both go through in life, but you guys can try to cherish his memory on those big days for just a moment so that it does feel like he’s with you and he’s not forgotten.




( ) DERE DERE DERE
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Donator — She/her Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/08/20 04:34:50 )


@MoonEevee: I'm sorry for your BF's and your loss. It's really hard. If he seems like he doesn't care, he does. It's just that this is making him numb, and it might take some time for him to be able to move on. But you can just keep supporting him!

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