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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/9 18:17:37 )


Man, what a year this has been! I got stuck thinking yesterday about how much different things are now and how much I've changed too. My life is coming together and I'm finding a new sense of peace that I haven't felt in so long, that I keep getting massive dejavu at random moments. Like something just suddenly feels nostalgic but I can't put my finger on what it is, but I just feel randomly happy.

I seriously cannot believe that exactly one year ago, I was scrounging for art commission work just to afford packs of ramen. But now, I can literally afford to buy a HOUSE! I mean, I just have to wait one more year for my wage to be recognized since I'm commission based. But its totally a thing that financially I can do with mine own two hands!

I shared on here my journey down to the south this year. How much everything exploded in every direction, but how the move itself fell in my lap so easily. I've wanted to come here for a decade. Every fiber of my soul felt that this is where I needed to go and I couldn't make Colorado feel like home, no matter how hard I tried. And I tried.
My fiance and I had some hiccups when we came here. We had to change our lives entirely and the habits from before, and work ourselves into a new lifestyle that is healthier. It was harder on him, that with his family issues and trying to shake addictive habits that he had to numb the pain from dealing with them all his life, but he's come a really long way already. He's singing again and working hard, developing new goals and ideals for himself. Enjoying the newfound freedom that he has in this household. He left for work this morning feeling so dang happy, he kept picking me up and getting all giddy. Nothing new happened, we were just talking about our current lives this morning. I think its just feeling like we're free and alive to do whatever we want, make choices and goals that seem so possible.

Like his dream of having his perfect little music corner in a room where is half designated to my arts and crafts so we could work on our projects together on our days off. Those are moments where we feel fully ourselves and the happiest we can be!

There are still annoying things, as life will always have. Like having to take an interstate to get to work every day. The drive TO work isn't bad, but the drive home is horrendous with the way one particular road merges into the other, the angles are weird and there is. ALWAYS. an accident. Or two. Plus, its always dark going home, and I get bad night blindness paired with driving anxiety. My fiance and I end up carpooling cause luckily, his job is 2 doors down from mine and work him very similar hours.
Working 11 hours a day is rough, and having managers who mock me when I want to share ONE day each week with my family as my day off. As if I'm spoiled and my values are misdirected, because THEY don't care to spend time with their wives. Why would I WANT to spend any time with my fiance, over being at work. Like fuck you guys, ain't changing my ways! I miss being home. This home I worked so hard to make cozy and full of snacks! XD Nobody really likes being at work~

Anyway, I'm certainly having an ADHD squirrel moment cause I was meant to start organizing our things to pack up. We're moving soonish (either locally or, if I get this promotion I applied for in Wichita Falls, might go there even sooner) so fiance asked me if I could go through and make donation piles, for things we wouldn't miss. To make moving lighter of course.
But then I ended up looking at our finances cause I need to write all the numbers down from my brain so we can budget either move.
But then I thought it'd be a good time to learn how to use excel.
But then I thought it'd help to look up templates for excel.
But then I thought I should update the pixels in my post format.
But then I remembered my thread about nail wraps,
But then....

:vanora_smile:

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Donator — buckaroo Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/9 20:26:56 )

I was literally beaming while reading this! I'm so happy for you, and for your husband!

I know what you mean about the driving though. I live in Southern California and I have to drive 30 mins on
the highway to and from work. It's been really getting to me lately. It's just... I get so frustrated with people
who don't know how to drive. And the highway is so.... ugly lmao. I lived in Oregon for a bit and I miss it a lot.
Even driving there is better cause I can look at all the mountains and trees. Here it's just billboards and strip
malls and dried up grass.

But anyways, congratulations on your newfound peace and happiness! :)

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Donator — She/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/10 02:56:06 )


@Jolly: I love you updates. I'm so happy for you.

Also fuck those Boomer jokes about hating your Wife or S/O or whatever. It's not funny and you should like your partner and you should be a good partner.


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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/10 16:03:56 )


@icedchai:
Yeah driving is so dang terrifying for me, I wish I could walk to work again.
I'm not good at going over 50 mph so when the interstate is a 75mph road (normally 85 but its a construction) I get really panicky. So my fiance ends up driving for me ;;;n;
I can do it in emergency situations where I have like full adrenaline going, but then I cry when I get to my destination. just so phobic of being in a car it makes me crazy

But anyway, thank you! I'm glad my rambles can spread some joy :D


@Totalanimefan:
Thank you! I love when I have good updates to share <3
and seeing my fiance doing so much better with his mental health, that just fills me <3
I know we're where we are meant to be

ALso yes! And fuck people who are like "well I married my job, why can't you be like me because I set the standard for norm, yknow"
Like, no you can't make me lol

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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/10 16:07:06 )


Oh and I quote my manager, "I've been married to my wife for 25 years because we DIDN'T spend time together"

Of course I had to snip back "My parents have been married for 35 years and counting because they made sure to value each other more than their jobs"

And to that he just said Nope.
Like wtf dude go sit down :vanora_xd: you ain't gonna change my mind


Good thing he doesn't matter much in the large scale. Our Regional manager is who I look up toward as a leader more than those within my store, cause he's really the one in charge. He has normal human values XD

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Donator — She/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/10 17:02:53 )


@Jolly: UGH Boomer jokes strike again.

I'm glad that he wanted to work on his problems, and from what you are telling me they are pretty much in the review mirror. I'm still really enjoying living in DC. It's like everyday is a vacation, it doesn't seem real sometimes. Like last Sunday my husband and I decided to go to the Natural History Museum and then have dinner after. It was great, we didn't need a car and got to walk a lot too. The weather was nice.


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Voltie — she/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/16 16:02:03 )


@Totalanimefan:
DC sounds so amazing ~!
I absolutely LOVE museums and dinner dates. Going out for a stroll
<3
Yesterday we went to Austin to check it out for the first time. Visited the downtown/2nd street area where they have this bat bridge (but it was morning so bats were hiding, we could hear them chirping though) and an outdoor shopping mall thing. But it was sooooo dirty, like a mini LA. Had more tweaker zombies than normal people walking around. One got thrown out of a shop right in front of us because he kept standing there yelling. So he continued yelling on the sidewalk so loud we could still hear him blocks away.
:vanora_shock:
So not the BEST date spot but it was still fun exploring and we took funny photos. After that we went to Austin's indoor mall to feel safer and got a buncha candy.

He really is doing so much better <3
Makes me really proud


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Donator — She/her Posted 2 years ago ( 2021/11/16 18:07:24 )


@Jolly: Oh and DC is very clean lol
I've been to Austin before because my cousin moved there for work. She said you get used to how 'unclean' it is, but she does worry about the homeless and her stuff not being stolen. ^^;
I'm glad that you enjoyed it overall even though it had some downsides. ^^; Not every city in the US is like that ^^;
I'm proud of him too. ^^


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