RP for me and @Mizu: to post in
Feel free to read along and PM either of us if you want to discuss your thoughts or the plot as you read along.
Forums Role Playing [IC] Hunting Season (Whimsy & Mizu)
Dae Hyun was thirty years old, in his prime, when he joined the cast of the BL drama Hunting Season. Dae Hyun was already the top actor in Company A when he received the drama script. Initially, his secretary had kept the script from him, but upon secretly going through her ‘rejection pile’ he found this script intrigued him more than the ones she had sent his way. Dae Hyun was successful enough that he could take a risk, because even if he acted in one flop it wouldn’t affect his stature in the acting world. He had carefully built up his reputation in the field to such a height that it would be difficult to knock him down.
The drama in question would certainly be a challenge, simply because it was BL. Dae Hyun could understand his secretary’s scepticism. It was not a particularly creative plot: during a group blind date, two working men in their late twenties end up conversing with each other because not enough girls show up. They’re both embarrassed at first but get along well, moreover they discuss their dating histories and find out that they’ve had similar problems: they’ve had several girlfriends without ever having deeply loved any of them. Thus, in just one evening both the male leads form an emotional bond.
This was the script for the pilot episode. The rest of the document was a rough outline for the rest of the drama. It would continue in the same vein, with much fluff between the male leads. For instance, they would become drunk after work together, resulting in more embarrassing heart-to-hearts and clingy skinship. They would bring each other home to meet their respective families. Male Lead X, who is motherless, is told by the other male lead’s mother that she looks upon him as a son. Male Lead X’s younger sister develops a crush on Male Lead Y, and Male Lead X is unable to process himself why her feelings for his friend make him so uncomfortable.
Male Lead Y assures Male Lead X that he has no intention of dating his sister, because if it doesn’t go well, it might endanger their friendship, and he doesn’t want to lose Male Lead X’s friendship for the world. This causes Male Lead X to clamp down on his own growing feelings that go beyond friendship. Finally, Male Lead X himself decides to go on a blind date with a girl, and asks Male Lead Y to set one up for him. Male Lead Y seems more than happy to do it, cuffing his shoulder and wishing him luck, but he shows up drunk on Male Lead X’s doorstep the night before the blind date, admitting that he couldn’t bring himself to set up the date. Drunk off his ass, he kisses Male Lead X right on his doorstep, then collapses against him. Male Lead X brings him inside, lays him on the couch and tries not to think dirty thoughts while taking off Male Lead Y’s tie and belt and unbuttoning his collar to make him more comfortable. The next day, Male Lead Y doesn’t remember anything he did while drunk.
It was a frustrating plot, typical of Korean rom-coms, but just the fact that it was BL made it interesting. Dae Hyun had no doubt that the searing sexual tension between the leads, that would be kept up throughout the drama, would more than make up for the rather lacking plot. Even the casual touches and gazes between the leads would be portrayed so as to build the tension between them, and this tension would break at strategic points. That kind of strategizing seemed to have been done well by the writer, going just by the outline. There would be multiple kiss scenes, and that alone blew Dae Hyun’s mind. There had been a drama or two in the past year which had a gay subplot, for instance there was one called Love With Flaws that didn’t shy away from suggestive gay content, but this was the first full-on gay drama with as many kiss scenes as your run-of-the-mill straight drama, and it had a happy ending, too.
It would almost certainly be subject to censorship. At first glance, it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. But Dae Hyun thought it would likely be a success. A lot more women enjoyed slashy stuff than people generally thought, and they could probably be counted on to tune in. This was a first, after all. The plot didn’t matter if the audience got their fill of slashy moments and resolved sexual tension. All that was needed was for both the male leads to be attractive, and to have a sizzling chemistry. Dae Hyun had no doubts that he was attractive, himself. It was not conventional attractiveness, but it was undeniable. Therefore, thought Dae Hyun, most important for him to consider was who his co-star would be.
Dae Hyun met with his assistant, Mi Ran, the next day. When he brought out the document he’d snitched from her office yesterday and told her, “This is what I wanted to talk to you about,” she looked worried.
“Do I really need to tell you why this show is a bad idea?” she said helplessly. When Dae Hyun didn’t answer, she said, “It’s gay, and doesn’t have a stellar plot to make up for that. It’s setting itself up to flop. Now if you’d just look at one of the rom-coms I forwarded to you-”
“The target audience of those rom-coms you sent me and of BL, including this one, largely overlaps,” interrupted Dae Hyun. “Who’s the other male lead going to be?”
Mi Ran pursed her lips. “That rookie, Ro Woon. He’s mainly a model, you know.”
Dae Hyun knew. Dae Hyun had also watched Ro Woon’s recent performance in the youth romance drama Extraordinary You and had been favourably impressed. For a rookie who didn’t start out in the acting field, his performance had been praiseworthy. Hunting Season didn’t require deep acting skills, anyway; there’d be no need to do character studies. Ro Woon and Dae Hyun had to look good together, and have a hot, unbridled chemistry; that was all that was required. When Dae Hyun called up the image of Ro Woon in his mind as he remembered it, there was no doubt in his mind that they’d look good together. Ro Woon was tall enough to be on par with him, but more slender and delicate; and he was not too fair when compared to Dae Hyun. He was also deep-voiced whereas Dae Hyun additionally had a husk. Ro Woon was perfect for the role of Male Lead Y if Dae Hyun played Male Lead X. They’d certainly look good together, but Ro Woon would also have to be ready to romance a male onscreen instead of a female, as he had done so far. He had to do so without awkwardness or hesitation, else they’d have no chemistry to speak of, just bland and forced acting. Even if the rookie wanted to be professional, sometimes that wasn’t enough, and Dae Hyun couldn’t allow a blip in his acting career due to a rookie biting off more than he could chew.
“Set up a meeting with the director,” said Dae Hyun, “and make sure Ro Woon also attends.”
Mi Ran agreed with resignation.
The meeting was a success. The director, Han Moon Kyu, had been afraid he’d have to take sub-standard actors on for the roles if nobody was willing to play gay roles. Although he’d managed to sign on a promising young rookie, he thought it a lucky fluke and didn’t have high hopes for the other male lead. It was a miracle he was being allowed to film the drama at all, and a bigger miracle that it was set to air as a weekday nights drama, a prime time slot. He didn’t think his luck could stretch any further, but here was Dae Hyun, one of the most sought-after actors that was responsible for much of the prestige associated with his agency, Company A, expressing interest in the role Director Han was most worried about!
“There’s nothing I’m anxious about with regards to the role, and as for the plot, going by just the pilot I think I’m in good hands,” Dae Hyun bowed to the writer, Miss Lee, who smiled. Good networking and talking well to the right people was part of how Dae Hyun reached success. “I’m also a fan of Director Han’s previous works,” continued Dae Hyun. “It’s just that… the success of the drama would also depend on me co-operating well with my co-actor.” Dae Hyun smiled pointedly at Ro Woon.
Ro Woon, the slightly star-struck rookie, gaped at him. He hadn’t actually idolised Dae Hyun at any point, but he also wanted to appear competent, if not perfect, in front of this important, famous sunbae. Ro Woon gave him a 90-degree bow and said, “Even though I’m a rookie and have much left to learn, I will give it my all!” Director Han nodded fervently, probably misunderstanding that Dae Hyun wasn’t happy with Ro Woon as his co-star. Dae Hyun was quick to correct their misunderstandings.
“It’s not your acting skills I’m worried about, I think you’re quite skilled already and have a lot of potential,” said Dae Hyun. “But you’ve never romanced a man on screen. It’s important that the relation between our characters that we show on screen be believable, not awkward at all. It might be difficult for you to get comfortable with this role.”
Ro Woon, with a strange look on his face- a look of cowed determination- moved to sit beside Dae Hyun. Dae Hyun looked questioningly at him. Ro Woon closed his eyes a moment, took a breath, then opened them. This time the expression in his eyes was completely different. He looked at Dae Hyun with a dark, seductive gaze, wetting his lips in a split-second like a snake flitting out its forked tongue. Dae Hyun gasped inwardly- and then outwardly, too, when Ro Woon surged forward and pressed lips with him, lightly biting his lower lip for good measure.
When Ro Woon retreated, with pink-dusted ears, shining eyes and shining lips, Dae Hyun felt like his throat was all blocked up with a sudden big dumb crush. Ro Woon laughed, eyes dancing with mischief, “You needn’t worry, sunbae. I have no reservations about this sort of thing.”
Director Han’s jaw had been slackened with shock this whole time, but he got it moving and said, “Well, you’re both already totally believable behind the scenes! You’ll have no problem co-operating on set! Right, Dae Hyun?”
“...Right,” said Dae Hyun, and bowed his burning face to take a sip of his drink, hoping it would cool him down, while everyone at the table clapped. He signed the contract the next day.
The drama was a success that propelled Ro Woon to fame in relation to Dae Hyun; as Dae Hyun predicted, their chemistry was what sold the drama to viewers. Ro Woon had been shipped with his female co-star in his previous drama, but the shipping of the Hunting Season couple was on a much larger scale, to the extent that they won ‘Best Couple’ at that year’s KBS drama awards, like Nam Goong-min and Lee Junho of Chief Kim had won a few years before them- except Ro Woon and Dae Hyun were the first overtly gay kdrama couple to win the award.
A few days after this, Ro Woon and Dae Hyun came out to the public that they were dating in real life. Since they had already cultivated images of men in love with each other during the course of the drama, it did not drastically affect their images, and although there was some negative response it was negligible. Most of the response was triumphant (in the case of their shippers), supportive or else indifferent. Ro Woon was too beautiful to be dropped out of advertising gigs and Dae Hyun was too talented an actor, in any case. Both of them continued to get jobs that fit their altered images. Ro Woon didn’t have the image of the high school sweetheart anymore, but of someone who loved deeply and perfectly despite being inexperienced, while Dae Hyun, who used to alternate between action dramas, character studies and mature romance dramas, had an image not too different from before, of a sensitive, mature lover. It seemed only good things were in store for them in the future. Yet, if Dae Hyun thought back to their tragic end, he couldn’t deny that they’d been heading towards it all along.
The sets of Hunting Season were a setting not just for the romance in the drama but for the real-life romance between Dae Hyun and Ro Woon. Dae Hyun really thought it was one-sided at first. Ro Woon was more likely to be attracted only to women, thought Dae Hyun, and anyway he was too… perfect. He needed few takes, learned his lines well, rehearsed in earnest, pored over the scripts. And it wasn’t limited to professionalism. He was exceedingly warm to everyone, turning his shining eyes and sweet smile on everybody with equal generosity.
Dae Hyun found that the emotions he had to convey while acting opposite Ro Woon- love, jealousy, lust- they were all… true. He wasn’t acting. Director Han was very happy with Dae Hyun’s performance, and Dae Hyun self-consciously accepted his praise as though it really was his acting prowess shining through. It should have been Dae Hyun’s easiest acting job, because he wasn’t really acting at all. But in reality it was his most difficult acting job ever, in terms of how it emotionally drained him after each inevitable spike in emotion his scenes with Ro Woon caused in him. Dae Hyun thought, “Fuck it, I’m method acting. Not the first one to do this. Big deal.” But his feelings did feel like a big deal, no matter what he told himself.
Then, one day, Dae Hyun had had enough. It was after a scene in which his character confesses to Ro Woon’s character, in so many words. Perhaps his conviction that he couldn’t confess to Ro Woon in real life was too much for him while his character confessed to Ro Woon’s character. In any case, that was when he snapped. Later, backstage, Dae Hyun told Ro Woon, “It’s true. Everything I said back there.”
Ro Woon tilted his head, his lips puckered and pouting. It was supposed to be his curious expression, but Dae Hyun had to clear his head to avoid grabbing Ro Woon by the jaw and making out with him. “That dialogue. It was in the script, but I meant it. Not as my character to yours, but as me to you. I, Dae Hyun, love you, Ro Woon.”
Ro Woon’s eyes widened, and then he smiled softly. Dae Hyun thought it was a gentle, sweet expression at the time, but in hindsight it was a reassuring smile. Not really an answer, but an attempt to comfort. All the same, Ro Woon readily agreed to date, and readily agreed to come out, as well. Throughout the time they were dating, Ro Woon treated him with that warm generosity of his that, coming from anyone else, could have only been love. But because it was Ro Woon, not anyone else, Dae Hyun could never be sure. Dae Hyun longed to see that expression again, of mingled courage and intent to seduce that Ro Woon had worn that time they first kissed. Of course, he had been acting the part of a man seducing another man at the time, but Dae Hyun wanted Ro Woon in real life to have a real intent to seduce. Dae Hyun wanted Ro Woon to want him. Dae Hyun wanted Ro Woon to want Dae Hyun to want Ro Woon. It all made his head spin.
Ro Woon loved the sex, but he never had to seduce Dae Hyun. He never had to try. He knew Dae Hyun would come to him on his own. Ro Woon flirted, mischievously, but not as though he was being challenged, not like that first kiss. Ro Woon was romantic, in his warm sweet way. But he was never passionate. Never desperate like Dae Hyun was.
Perhaps Ro Woon became tired of Dae Hyun’s constant need to be reassured of his feelings. There were inevitable bumps in their relationship and they all had to do with Dae Hyun's insecurities. Dae Hyun had many conversations with himself, about Ro Woon’s way of loving simply being the way it was. Dae Hyun couldn’t expect Ro Woon to love one way when he loved another way. But lurking just under the surface was always the fear that Ro Woon couldn’t possibly love someone like him, after all. Ro Woon was perfect and Dae Hyun was not. Ro Woon had no insecurities, Dae Hyun had too many. Ro Woon was beautiful from head to toe, a walking angel; Dae Hyun was attractive even though he wasn’t supposed to be, a clay statue that was somehow shaped strikingly. Many would not take to Dae Hyun’s looks, understandably so, but everyone would fall for Ro Woon’s. Dae Hyun had to stop asking Ro Woon to ‘open his heart to him’, Dae Hyun had to stop asking Ro Woon how Dae Hyun was different to him that everyone else. Dae Hyun did stop, but those questions and insecurities still swirled under the surface. The only difference was that he didn’t voice them out loud anymore.
Dae Hyun decided to just accept it. That he could never know what Ro Woon really felt. He, Dae Hyun, knew what he felt for Ro Woon. That would have to be enough. Dae Hyun had to be a little less greedy, and treasure the fact that he got to be with the man he loved, got to kiss him and see him smile, even if the man he loved didn’t truly love him back.
They were walking back from the river one evening when they hurtled towards their tragic end. An accident, out of nowhere. While Ro Woon bled, Dae Hyun was afraid even to touch him or hold him in his arms, in case he made it worse. The culprit sped off, and Dae Hyun couldn’t give him a second thought because Ro Woon was bleeding away in front of his eyes. The ambulance was called, but Ro Woon bled rapidly in the meanwhile, and there was only empty highway and silent trees on either side, only a sliver of moon watching over them that dark night. Dae Hyun cried until his throat felt gravelly and he shook uncontrollably. He couldn’t believe what was happening, but he was sure it was punishment. For being so ungrateful. For loving Ro Woon and having the gall to wish he would love him back as much, despite being wholly unworthy.
“If only I could turn back time and prevent this from ever happening,” sobbed Dae Hyun, “I’d protect you better. I’d love you better, treat you like you deserve, I’d make sure this never happened. I’d do anything to turn things back… please…”
He didn’t know who he was begging; perhaps he was begging the grim reaper to let Ro Woon live, perhaps he was begging the universe to punish only him and not hurt Ro Woon to get to him. But Ro Woon seemed to think he was begging him… for what?
“Are you...sure... you want to turn things back?” Ro Woon spoke effortfully.
“Yes! Yes, of course I’m sure! It’s all I want, I’ll never ask for anything again,” cried Dae Hyun.
“No matter… what the price?”
Dae Hyun couldn’t understand Ro Woon’s questions, but he didn’t have to think hard for them; there was only one answer. “Of course.” Ro Woon did not even have to ask.
Ro Woon shut his eyes, and Dae Hyun panicked. In that moment of panic, everything turned black and shot away from him, as though it was being pulled to the end of a tunnel. He was flying backwards, darkness around him, while Ro Woon became more and more distant, at the other end of the tunnel. At one point Dae Hyun couldn’t see Ro Woon any longer. At one point the darkness swallowed him. Dae Hyun shut his eyes, and panicked.
When he opened them, he wasn’t in a tunnel anymore. He was in Mi Ran’s office, and in front of him was her ‘rejection pile’.
The drama in question would certainly be a challenge, simply because it was BL. Dae Hyun could understand his secretary’s scepticism. It was not a particularly creative plot: during a group blind date, two working men in their late twenties end up conversing with each other because not enough girls show up. They’re both embarrassed at first but get along well, moreover they discuss their dating histories and find out that they’ve had similar problems: they’ve had several girlfriends without ever having deeply loved any of them. Thus, in just one evening both the male leads form an emotional bond.
This was the script for the pilot episode. The rest of the document was a rough outline for the rest of the drama. It would continue in the same vein, with much fluff between the male leads. For instance, they would become drunk after work together, resulting in more embarrassing heart-to-hearts and clingy skinship. They would bring each other home to meet their respective families. Male Lead X, who is motherless, is told by the other male lead’s mother that she looks upon him as a son. Male Lead X’s younger sister develops a crush on Male Lead Y, and Male Lead X is unable to process himself why her feelings for his friend make him so uncomfortable.
Male Lead Y assures Male Lead X that he has no intention of dating his sister, because if it doesn’t go well, it might endanger their friendship, and he doesn’t want to lose Male Lead X’s friendship for the world. This causes Male Lead X to clamp down on his own growing feelings that go beyond friendship. Finally, Male Lead X himself decides to go on a blind date with a girl, and asks Male Lead Y to set one up for him. Male Lead Y seems more than happy to do it, cuffing his shoulder and wishing him luck, but he shows up drunk on Male Lead X’s doorstep the night before the blind date, admitting that he couldn’t bring himself to set up the date. Drunk off his ass, he kisses Male Lead X right on his doorstep, then collapses against him. Male Lead X brings him inside, lays him on the couch and tries not to think dirty thoughts while taking off Male Lead Y’s tie and belt and unbuttoning his collar to make him more comfortable. The next day, Male Lead Y doesn’t remember anything he did while drunk.
It was a frustrating plot, typical of Korean rom-coms, but just the fact that it was BL made it interesting. Dae Hyun had no doubt that the searing sexual tension between the leads, that would be kept up throughout the drama, would more than make up for the rather lacking plot. Even the casual touches and gazes between the leads would be portrayed so as to build the tension between them, and this tension would break at strategic points. That kind of strategizing seemed to have been done well by the writer, going just by the outline. There would be multiple kiss scenes, and that alone blew Dae Hyun’s mind. There had been a drama or two in the past year which had a gay subplot, for instance there was one called Love With Flaws that didn’t shy away from suggestive gay content, but this was the first full-on gay drama with as many kiss scenes as your run-of-the-mill straight drama, and it had a happy ending, too.
It would almost certainly be subject to censorship. At first glance, it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. But Dae Hyun thought it would likely be a success. A lot more women enjoyed slashy stuff than people generally thought, and they could probably be counted on to tune in. This was a first, after all. The plot didn’t matter if the audience got their fill of slashy moments and resolved sexual tension. All that was needed was for both the male leads to be attractive, and to have a sizzling chemistry. Dae Hyun had no doubts that he was attractive, himself. It was not conventional attractiveness, but it was undeniable. Therefore, thought Dae Hyun, most important for him to consider was who his co-star would be.
Dae Hyun met with his assistant, Mi Ran, the next day. When he brought out the document he’d snitched from her office yesterday and told her, “This is what I wanted to talk to you about,” she looked worried.
“Do I really need to tell you why this show is a bad idea?” she said helplessly. When Dae Hyun didn’t answer, she said, “It’s gay, and doesn’t have a stellar plot to make up for that. It’s setting itself up to flop. Now if you’d just look at one of the rom-coms I forwarded to you-”
“The target audience of those rom-coms you sent me and of BL, including this one, largely overlaps,” interrupted Dae Hyun. “Who’s the other male lead going to be?”
Mi Ran pursed her lips. “That rookie, Ro Woon. He’s mainly a model, you know.”
Dae Hyun knew. Dae Hyun had also watched Ro Woon’s recent performance in the youth romance drama Extraordinary You and had been favourably impressed. For a rookie who didn’t start out in the acting field, his performance had been praiseworthy. Hunting Season didn’t require deep acting skills, anyway; there’d be no need to do character studies. Ro Woon and Dae Hyun had to look good together, and have a hot, unbridled chemistry; that was all that was required. When Dae Hyun called up the image of Ro Woon in his mind as he remembered it, there was no doubt in his mind that they’d look good together. Ro Woon was tall enough to be on par with him, but more slender and delicate; and he was not too fair when compared to Dae Hyun. He was also deep-voiced whereas Dae Hyun additionally had a husk. Ro Woon was perfect for the role of Male Lead Y if Dae Hyun played Male Lead X. They’d certainly look good together, but Ro Woon would also have to be ready to romance a male onscreen instead of a female, as he had done so far. He had to do so without awkwardness or hesitation, else they’d have no chemistry to speak of, just bland and forced acting. Even if the rookie wanted to be professional, sometimes that wasn’t enough, and Dae Hyun couldn’t allow a blip in his acting career due to a rookie biting off more than he could chew.
“Set up a meeting with the director,” said Dae Hyun, “and make sure Ro Woon also attends.”
Mi Ran agreed with resignation.
The meeting was a success. The director, Han Moon Kyu, had been afraid he’d have to take sub-standard actors on for the roles if nobody was willing to play gay roles. Although he’d managed to sign on a promising young rookie, he thought it a lucky fluke and didn’t have high hopes for the other male lead. It was a miracle he was being allowed to film the drama at all, and a bigger miracle that it was set to air as a weekday nights drama, a prime time slot. He didn’t think his luck could stretch any further, but here was Dae Hyun, one of the most sought-after actors that was responsible for much of the prestige associated with his agency, Company A, expressing interest in the role Director Han was most worried about!
“There’s nothing I’m anxious about with regards to the role, and as for the plot, going by just the pilot I think I’m in good hands,” Dae Hyun bowed to the writer, Miss Lee, who smiled. Good networking and talking well to the right people was part of how Dae Hyun reached success. “I’m also a fan of Director Han’s previous works,” continued Dae Hyun. “It’s just that… the success of the drama would also depend on me co-operating well with my co-actor.” Dae Hyun smiled pointedly at Ro Woon.
Ro Woon, the slightly star-struck rookie, gaped at him. He hadn’t actually idolised Dae Hyun at any point, but he also wanted to appear competent, if not perfect, in front of this important, famous sunbae. Ro Woon gave him a 90-degree bow and said, “Even though I’m a rookie and have much left to learn, I will give it my all!” Director Han nodded fervently, probably misunderstanding that Dae Hyun wasn’t happy with Ro Woon as his co-star. Dae Hyun was quick to correct their misunderstandings.
“It’s not your acting skills I’m worried about, I think you’re quite skilled already and have a lot of potential,” said Dae Hyun. “But you’ve never romanced a man on screen. It’s important that the relation between our characters that we show on screen be believable, not awkward at all. It might be difficult for you to get comfortable with this role.”
Ro Woon, with a strange look on his face- a look of cowed determination- moved to sit beside Dae Hyun. Dae Hyun looked questioningly at him. Ro Woon closed his eyes a moment, took a breath, then opened them. This time the expression in his eyes was completely different. He looked at Dae Hyun with a dark, seductive gaze, wetting his lips in a split-second like a snake flitting out its forked tongue. Dae Hyun gasped inwardly- and then outwardly, too, when Ro Woon surged forward and pressed lips with him, lightly biting his lower lip for good measure.
When Ro Woon retreated, with pink-dusted ears, shining eyes and shining lips, Dae Hyun felt like his throat was all blocked up with a sudden big dumb crush. Ro Woon laughed, eyes dancing with mischief, “You needn’t worry, sunbae. I have no reservations about this sort of thing.”
Director Han’s jaw had been slackened with shock this whole time, but he got it moving and said, “Well, you’re both already totally believable behind the scenes! You’ll have no problem co-operating on set! Right, Dae Hyun?”
“...Right,” said Dae Hyun, and bowed his burning face to take a sip of his drink, hoping it would cool him down, while everyone at the table clapped. He signed the contract the next day.
The drama was a success that propelled Ro Woon to fame in relation to Dae Hyun; as Dae Hyun predicted, their chemistry was what sold the drama to viewers. Ro Woon had been shipped with his female co-star in his previous drama, but the shipping of the Hunting Season couple was on a much larger scale, to the extent that they won ‘Best Couple’ at that year’s KBS drama awards, like Nam Goong-min and Lee Junho of Chief Kim had won a few years before them- except Ro Woon and Dae Hyun were the first overtly gay kdrama couple to win the award.
A few days after this, Ro Woon and Dae Hyun came out to the public that they were dating in real life. Since they had already cultivated images of men in love with each other during the course of the drama, it did not drastically affect their images, and although there was some negative response it was negligible. Most of the response was triumphant (in the case of their shippers), supportive or else indifferent. Ro Woon was too beautiful to be dropped out of advertising gigs and Dae Hyun was too talented an actor, in any case. Both of them continued to get jobs that fit their altered images. Ro Woon didn’t have the image of the high school sweetheart anymore, but of someone who loved deeply and perfectly despite being inexperienced, while Dae Hyun, who used to alternate between action dramas, character studies and mature romance dramas, had an image not too different from before, of a sensitive, mature lover. It seemed only good things were in store for them in the future. Yet, if Dae Hyun thought back to their tragic end, he couldn’t deny that they’d been heading towards it all along.
The sets of Hunting Season were a setting not just for the romance in the drama but for the real-life romance between Dae Hyun and Ro Woon. Dae Hyun really thought it was one-sided at first. Ro Woon was more likely to be attracted only to women, thought Dae Hyun, and anyway he was too… perfect. He needed few takes, learned his lines well, rehearsed in earnest, pored over the scripts. And it wasn’t limited to professionalism. He was exceedingly warm to everyone, turning his shining eyes and sweet smile on everybody with equal generosity.
Dae Hyun found that the emotions he had to convey while acting opposite Ro Woon- love, jealousy, lust- they were all… true. He wasn’t acting. Director Han was very happy with Dae Hyun’s performance, and Dae Hyun self-consciously accepted his praise as though it really was his acting prowess shining through. It should have been Dae Hyun’s easiest acting job, because he wasn’t really acting at all. But in reality it was his most difficult acting job ever, in terms of how it emotionally drained him after each inevitable spike in emotion his scenes with Ro Woon caused in him. Dae Hyun thought, “Fuck it, I’m method acting. Not the first one to do this. Big deal.” But his feelings did feel like a big deal, no matter what he told himself.
Then, one day, Dae Hyun had had enough. It was after a scene in which his character confesses to Ro Woon’s character, in so many words. Perhaps his conviction that he couldn’t confess to Ro Woon in real life was too much for him while his character confessed to Ro Woon’s character. In any case, that was when he snapped. Later, backstage, Dae Hyun told Ro Woon, “It’s true. Everything I said back there.”
Ro Woon tilted his head, his lips puckered and pouting. It was supposed to be his curious expression, but Dae Hyun had to clear his head to avoid grabbing Ro Woon by the jaw and making out with him. “That dialogue. It was in the script, but I meant it. Not as my character to yours, but as me to you. I, Dae Hyun, love you, Ro Woon.”
Ro Woon’s eyes widened, and then he smiled softly. Dae Hyun thought it was a gentle, sweet expression at the time, but in hindsight it was a reassuring smile. Not really an answer, but an attempt to comfort. All the same, Ro Woon readily agreed to date, and readily agreed to come out, as well. Throughout the time they were dating, Ro Woon treated him with that warm generosity of his that, coming from anyone else, could have only been love. But because it was Ro Woon, not anyone else, Dae Hyun could never be sure. Dae Hyun longed to see that expression again, of mingled courage and intent to seduce that Ro Woon had worn that time they first kissed. Of course, he had been acting the part of a man seducing another man at the time, but Dae Hyun wanted Ro Woon in real life to have a real intent to seduce. Dae Hyun wanted Ro Woon to want him. Dae Hyun wanted Ro Woon to want Dae Hyun to want Ro Woon. It all made his head spin.
Ro Woon loved the sex, but he never had to seduce Dae Hyun. He never had to try. He knew Dae Hyun would come to him on his own. Ro Woon flirted, mischievously, but not as though he was being challenged, not like that first kiss. Ro Woon was romantic, in his warm sweet way. But he was never passionate. Never desperate like Dae Hyun was.
Perhaps Ro Woon became tired of Dae Hyun’s constant need to be reassured of his feelings. There were inevitable bumps in their relationship and they all had to do with Dae Hyun's insecurities. Dae Hyun had many conversations with himself, about Ro Woon’s way of loving simply being the way it was. Dae Hyun couldn’t expect Ro Woon to love one way when he loved another way. But lurking just under the surface was always the fear that Ro Woon couldn’t possibly love someone like him, after all. Ro Woon was perfect and Dae Hyun was not. Ro Woon had no insecurities, Dae Hyun had too many. Ro Woon was beautiful from head to toe, a walking angel; Dae Hyun was attractive even though he wasn’t supposed to be, a clay statue that was somehow shaped strikingly. Many would not take to Dae Hyun’s looks, understandably so, but everyone would fall for Ro Woon’s. Dae Hyun had to stop asking Ro Woon to ‘open his heart to him’, Dae Hyun had to stop asking Ro Woon how Dae Hyun was different to him that everyone else. Dae Hyun did stop, but those questions and insecurities still swirled under the surface. The only difference was that he didn’t voice them out loud anymore.
Dae Hyun decided to just accept it. That he could never know what Ro Woon really felt. He, Dae Hyun, knew what he felt for Ro Woon. That would have to be enough. Dae Hyun had to be a little less greedy, and treasure the fact that he got to be with the man he loved, got to kiss him and see him smile, even if the man he loved didn’t truly love him back.
They were walking back from the river one evening when they hurtled towards their tragic end. An accident, out of nowhere. While Ro Woon bled, Dae Hyun was afraid even to touch him or hold him in his arms, in case he made it worse. The culprit sped off, and Dae Hyun couldn’t give him a second thought because Ro Woon was bleeding away in front of his eyes. The ambulance was called, but Ro Woon bled rapidly in the meanwhile, and there was only empty highway and silent trees on either side, only a sliver of moon watching over them that dark night. Dae Hyun cried until his throat felt gravelly and he shook uncontrollably. He couldn’t believe what was happening, but he was sure it was punishment. For being so ungrateful. For loving Ro Woon and having the gall to wish he would love him back as much, despite being wholly unworthy.
“If only I could turn back time and prevent this from ever happening,” sobbed Dae Hyun, “I’d protect you better. I’d love you better, treat you like you deserve, I’d make sure this never happened. I’d do anything to turn things back… please…”
He didn’t know who he was begging; perhaps he was begging the grim reaper to let Ro Woon live, perhaps he was begging the universe to punish only him and not hurt Ro Woon to get to him. But Ro Woon seemed to think he was begging him… for what?
“Are you...sure... you want to turn things back?” Ro Woon spoke effortfully.
“Yes! Yes, of course I’m sure! It’s all I want, I’ll never ask for anything again,” cried Dae Hyun.
“No matter… what the price?”
Dae Hyun couldn’t understand Ro Woon’s questions, but he didn’t have to think hard for them; there was only one answer. “Of course.” Ro Woon did not even have to ask.
Ro Woon shut his eyes, and Dae Hyun panicked. In that moment of panic, everything turned black and shot away from him, as though it was being pulled to the end of a tunnel. He was flying backwards, darkness around him, while Ro Woon became more and more distant, at the other end of the tunnel. At one point Dae Hyun couldn’t see Ro Woon any longer. At one point the darkness swallowed him. Dae Hyun shut his eyes, and panicked.
When he opened them, he wasn’t in a tunnel anymore. He was in Mi Ran’s office, and in front of him was her ‘rejection pile’.
Jae Seong, twenty-five year old standing in front of Company A's main office gates, felt sure that he was at the lowest point of his career. Graduating from a no-name university to get an acting degree, and then going 4 years without landing a job offer was bad enough, but of late he hadn't even been considered for auditions.
"How do I put this...someone like you isn't quite fit for the role," said the director he had approached a few months ago, Kim Sang-Hyub. "What's more, we were thinking of calling off the production of Extraordinary You altogether."
"W-what?! Why?"
"We found actors that could be cast for the supporting roles, but our lead needs to be special. Someone with the perfect charm and looks to match, someone who can cast a spell on the viewers right from the start. We even tried looking for rookies or models who could fit the image, but the right person just isn't there..."
"Then...at least let me try for some other role while you search," Jae Seong cut in desperately. "A supporting character, even a minor one is fine-"
"Look, I didn't want to say it so bluntly, but there's no role in this drama that could possibly work for you. I understand that you want a break into the mainstream shows, and that your credentials are decent, but maybe you should change your focus?"
"...Change my focus?"
" It's not just this production; all dramas nowadays need their cast to look good...and well, your looks are slightly different from the conventional. Maybe you could..consider other things in the industry to do instead, like documentaries?"
In the end, the show never went on air, though it didn't make him feel any better. That last rejection was his death knell - Jae Seong had now lost the wager he made 6 years ago. With laboured steps and a heavy heart, he had made his way to Yeonghae University, to see his father as promised.
"I see you've finally come to your senses," remarked the Senior Chancellor for Yeonghae University of Performing Arts, Park Beok Chul.
"I did warn you of what would happen if you didn't enter the show business from my university - and that it would break my heart to see you in this state as a result..."
Contrary to what he was saying, however, Chancellor Park looked quite smug.
"But it's never too late," he went on, extending his hand in a wide arc to indicate his opulent office. "I started investing in production companies quite late, myself. Connections with the right people and some well-cut deals; that's how I've gotten where I am now. I'll overlook that rebellious streak you've kept up, if-"
"I didn't come back so I could use you as a shortcut to stardom," Jae Seong interrupted, unable to listen any longer. "I didn't graduate from here because I knew a degree from a famous university would overshadow my ability. Being chosen for roles in theater, even if they were small ones, was what made me love acting. You pulling strings to have your way is never how I'll look for a role."
A wrinkle appeared on the Chancellor's off-puttingly wide brow.
"You walk in here with no intention of changing your ways, and expect me to support your foolishness? I am your father, not your bed of cash to fall back on as you continue to defy me-"
Jae Seong cut in yet again.
"I'll admit I was dependent on the allowance you gave me for these last four years, but I don't need it anymore. I'll figure out rent and meals for myself. Thank you for 'supporting my foolishness' till now, 'father'."
The older man stared open-mouthed as his son made for the door.
"You intend to live alone, without a steady paying job? Have you lost your mind?"
"I don't have anything to lose at this point," came the reply.
Jae Seong flinched reflexively as he saw his father's face shift. The sauve business-like facade that he had always hated seeing seemed to have cracked.
"You won't take another step outside, if you know what's good for you. That is, unless you don't consider your acting career to be something you have already lost."
Those words really did freeze him in place, as the meaning of the warning sunk in.
"...no...you can't-"
"Don't you dare talk over me again, Park Jae Seong!" The chancellor brought his fist down on the desk with a thud. "I can, and I will make it so no one ever accepts you in a production! Who do you think the directors will favour, the Chancellor of Yeonghae; an honorary member of the National Censor Board and an established sponsor - or a two-bit sham like you?! You can't even act, for God's sake!"
"...what? What does that even mean? Of course I can act-" Jae Seong trailed off as he saw his father's rage slowly morph into a twisted smile.
Without realizing it, he began speaking in an increasing frenzy, words toppling over the next.
"W-what's with that face? You know I got theatre roles before high school as well as I do! And despite my university knowing that admitting the boy who defied the chancellor of Yeonghae would hurt their reputation, they accepted my application! The only reason they would do so is if they saw potential...in..."
His voice died again as Chancellor Park carelessly rummaged into his desk drawers, and flung a sheaf of papers across the table.
Against his better judgement, Jae Seong stole a glance at the topmost document - and his chest gave a sudden lurch as he recognized his acting university's seal with the Principal's signature underneath.
"'Dear Mr. Park, I hope this letter finds you well," his father began reading aloud. "Your son's progress is - quite fine. Just as you requested, we've not been giving his any, shall we say, constructive criticism - not that it would be useful to change his acting in any way, that is...If we may quote your own words; at his level, no suggestions would really improve his acting skills in any way. We mean no disrespect by this of course...we will continue supporting him until he graduates in two months, so long as we continue receiving your gracious patronage.'"
Chancellor Park seemed to gain vigour from his son's loss for words.
"There's more of these letters where they came from, if you're not convinced," he declared airily. "Aah, here's one from when they first agreed to admit you after getting a fat fee! Yeesh, they really are quite terrible at diplomacy. "'Quite fine'? 'No constructive criticism would be helpful'? 'Mean no disrespect'? Your college needs a better correspondent- or perhaps they just need to be honest about how terrible your performance has been. Have they perchance not realized I compensate them precisely _because_ of your ineptitude? Or do you, somehow," added the chancellor with a laugh, "actually think they're praising you?"
Jae Seong was too distraught to answer. Even while the letters were being read out, he had been desperately trying to recall all the times he had been appreciated by the theatre troupes, his seniors, directors- anyone who had seen him for his acting alone.
But to his dismay, there were none. Whenever he had asked for advice in the past, the responses had all been vaguely encouraging, but sparse on suggestions to improve.
Why had he never thought it strange that everyone had only ever given him cliched, halfhearted comments?
There had to be someone, Jae Seong thought desperately. There had to be someone who genuinely saw his potential for growth. It couldn't be possible that almost all of the last 15 years of his life was a lie...!
"Those theatre roles you got when you were how old, seven?" Chancellor Park nonchalantly flipped through a receipt challan book, revealing cheque after cheque addressed to theatre groups and acting companies large and small. "What did you think you were, some kind of child prodigy? Those junior competitions you won, minor appearances you were "chosen" for, even that second rate university that accepted you when you refused to study here - had you actually believed they were willing to take risks for some brat's nonexistent talent? Of course not! The only reason why anyone gave you the time of day was because I told them to do so! Of course, I had to furnish an extra sum to keep them quiet."
"Why...? Why would you do this?!"
"Because you're my son, of course! It would have hurt me too much to tell you that you weren't cut out to be an actor, but rather than realizing it yourself, you kept saying you wanted more roles..."
The chancellor sat back at the desk with an unnecessarily long sigh.
"Look at what you've made me say. Haven't I always told you that making me lose my temper is never good for either of us? If it weren't for your obstinacy, you could have stayed blissfully ignorant, and I would never have dreamt of telling you the truth..."
It was no good. No matter how far back Jae Seong tried to remember, no one had ever told him he was good- or even bad at what he did. Naively, he had always assumed that was how it was in the acting industry. If the director chose you for a role, and gave their approval for each take, it meant you were a good actor, even if their responses seemed lukewarm.
Now Jae Seong finally knew why the performers and workers always kept their distance from him on the sets; and why conversations reached a lull whenever he was within earshot.
He was a failure.
The only reason no one ever said it to his face was the allure of his father's "compensation" for putting up with him .
"There's no way you kept the truth from me just because it would have 'hurt' too much," Jae Seong said bitterly. "You just didn't want me to be an embarrassment to you."
"And so what if I did? I had a reputation to protect - and the reputation of my oblivious son as well if you put it like that!"
...was it true? Was that all he was? A spoilt rich kid so caught up in his dreams that he didn't realize he was talentless? Or had he always known...and chosen not to face it all along? Didn't that mean he was just as selfish as his father for relying on money?
...what was he going to do now? If everything his teachers told him had been insincere, how was he to know if he was any good as an actor? Would such a career ever be possible for him if he so completely lacked acting ability?
"If you're so torn up by knowing no one thinks much of your 'talent', why not see for yourself?" quipped Chancellor Park, breaking Jae Seong from his stupor. "In fact, if you get the role without my help, I'll take back everything I said about barring your future prospects. You can do as you please, and I won't concern myself with your doings in any way. You can have your allowance back as well, if you care to have it."
...why is he suddenly being so generous?
"What's the catch?"
"Oh, Jae Seong. When did I raise you to be so cynical? I feel some guilt in trying to shield you from reality rather than have you realize the truth about your acting - so consider this a way to prove yourself. Get a role in Company A's new production which will start shooting in two months."
The abrupt order made confusion temporarily cloud the young actor's growing despair.
"With Company A? But weren't they the ones who published the article last month about you-"
"Don't remind me!" Chancellor Park's choice rose by an octave. "Those bastards had the gall to 'expose my methods' of promoting graduates - methods which everyone uses in this industry, I'll have you know..."
Of course, his son noted with silent sarcasm. Methods, which constituted only a blend of "compensation" and threats. There might have been others who were corrupt in showbiz, but with evidence as compelling as those Company A had presented to a swarm of paparazzi, even the most dutiful son would admit Park Beok Chul had to be the most corrupt among them - father or not.
"Get a major role, and find out who it was that got access to my accounts before the production ends," the chancellor was saying. "I've spent a lot of time and money on you just to keep your delusions alive. Now make yourself useful for a change. "
"I can't just simply be chosen for a part by Company A. If it were so easy, I would have already-"
The smile in response to his protest made Jae Seong feel his blood turning to ice.
"What would be easy for you, in fact, would be to admit right here that all the acting you've ever done was an illusion, propped up only by your father's wealth. Even easier for me would be to advise all directors in the industry against your selection in any role. It would save you, me and them a lot of unnecessary trouble. Of course, you could be hired by Company A, prove your mettle as well as restore my integrity; but the choice is yours..."
"Producer Jang will see you now," announced an attendant, making Jae Seong snap back in touch with reality; and he was grateful for it. While the thought of what he was about to do frightened him more than anything else had ever done, dwelling on the meeting with his father felt much worse.
He hadn't slept at all since that argument. For a while, he had seriously considered leaving the country and trying to work in the acting industry abroad, where his father had much less influence.
But by the time dawn had broken, Jae Seong could no longer convince himself he had a way out. He was almost completely penniless, and without an earning job he wouldn't even be able to pay his flat's rent, leave alone board an airplane or stay in an unknown country.
And while it was a stretch to say the entirety of Korea's acting industry was under Park Beok Chul's control, would anyone even hire a spoon-fed, talentless actor like him? Why would they do so now, and go against his father, when they had continued to reject him for the last five years?
The only way to prove his father wrong, and get a chance to start over was to get the role, no matter what the cost.
Executive Producer Jang Sun-Kook looked curiously at the tired young man who stood before him with dark circles under his eyes. He motioned for Jae Seong to sit at the other end of his sofa rather than on the armchair across the coffee table - which Jae Seong took as a good sign. But at the same time, it also filled him with even more dread than before.
_Don't get cold feet now, Park Jae Seong!_ he urged himself.
"Were you the one who wanted to talk to me regarding the shooting of _Hunting Season_?" the producer was saying. "I'm afraid you've come to the wrong person. I may be the executive producer, but the one in charge of the casting call is Director Han."
"I can't go to him," Jae Seong murmured out of earshot. "That would be the same as failing right away."
"?"
The man's surprise grew as he watched Jae Seong inch closer, with the look in his eyes subtly changing. The air of tiredness about the young actor was suddenly morphing into something different. With him leaning forward and looking up directly to meet Producer Jang's gaze, the fact that his shirt was loose, three of the top buttons were unfastened, and his jeans being dangerously low-waist seemed more noticeable somehow.
"Tell me more about the lead roles you have in mind," Jae Seong coaxed, in a lower, softer voice. "Despite being a Company A production, I've heard that Hunting Season has yet to finalize the major roles. It surely can't be that not a single actor is ready to play the role of a homosexual character. But if that is the reason why..." Jae Seong leant nearer still, "...I could let you know right now that I'm not averse to it."
Is this boy, thought the producer with some amusement, actually trying to seduce me?
He decided to fake obliviousness. "Actually, the situation is complicated," he said with a sigh. "Moon Kyu - I mean, Director Han - only took charge of the production on my request, but in a way he's much more invested than I am now! Despite the obvious risk of a BL drama competing with other mainstream shows, he insists on only taking actors who have chemistry, and have no reservations about same-sex romance. I keep saying he needs to be more objective about the actors' beliefs off-screen, but he won't listen..."
"I see," mused Jae Seong, his lips puckered in thought. "Well, I think you'll find that I meet the expectations your director has in mind. I'm confident in my ability to establish a chemistry with my colleague...whoever it may be."
At this point, the two men were so close together that it was becoming impossible for Producer Jang to feign ignorance.
"How would you know what's expected of you? Have you even seen the script, Mr. Park? "
Jae Seong had to resist clicking his tongue in annoyance. Was the geezer just dense, or was he being tested?
"I think I've understood the general idea behind the show from what you've told the media. Hunting Season is supposed to be less about the nuance of the story and more about the mushy encounters and tropes widely accepted for heterosexual rom-coms. You wanted a BL drama to have the same without having to justify it with a stellar plot, complex characters or a tragic undertone. I also heard you picked Lee So Yeon as the scriptwriter - and I think she was a very good choice."
The executive producer found himself agreeing with all of the actor's points. He was glad someone understood that a BL drama didn't have to have a deep underlying message, and he had always wanted people to approve of a sappy BL drama just for the sake of its existence.
But that didn't change the fact that this boy was trying to sleep his way to the role. Knowing what his father was capable of, Producer Jang told himself he shouldn't be surprised the son stooped this low as well. But something about Jae Seong's expression when he had first come in seemed to suggest there was much more to his advances than that.
"And? Why are you telling this to me, and not Director Han?"
"That's, well..." Jae Seong's seductive manner slipped up ever so slightly, but he made up for it by tilting his head innocently, and lightly brushing his hair past his eyes. "You were the one with the vision behind Hunting Season, and I've admired the films and dramas you've backed for a long time. I wanted to live up to your expectations..."
"And what expectations did you think I had?"
"I can't say I know...but l'll do anything you ask me to," replied Jae Seong, trying not to sound too desperate.
Their thighs touched, and as Producer Jang watched the young actor trying not to shrink away, he himself had to try not to chuckle at the crumbling facade.
"Bold of you to assume I'm gay," he said aloud with a sneer, finally pulling away. "And even more so to assume that I'd find you attractive in any way whatsoever."
Panic began to overtake Jae Seong's desperation. He hadn't thought about that. If the man was straight, what was he supposed to do? He didn't have any money to give an already affluent producer.
"I - don't have anything to offer but my body," he said at last, while feeling his last vestiges of pride reduce to dirt. "But I'm captivated by you your and the drama you're producing, and-"
"I can see why you didn't even try for the audition - your acting is terrible. Have you ever even slept with another man?"
Silently, Jae Seong shook his head.
Internally, the producer acknowledged he had just told a big lie. Jae Seong may have put on an act, but it had been a good one. Had he not seen the latter walking into his office looking as though he bore a heavy burden, and some kind of insecurity; Producer Jang might have just thought the young man was a slut.
He gave Jae Seong a quick look-over. Not conventionally attractive in the slightest, he opined, but there's an unmistakable something...
Meanwhile, Jae Seong was feeling such strong shame and disgust that he felt physically sick. He'd just tried to sell his body to some older, more famous man that he didn't know - and he couldn't do it convincingly, either. Why did he ever think his level of acting could fool an experienced producer?
"I- I should leave. This was a mistake, I should just-" Jae Seong got up in a rush, his face burning.
But just as he began to turn away, he found himself stopping in his tracks, as a business card was tossed in the air towards him.
He instinctively caught it and read the address embossed in shiny letters below the name.
"That's my house address," Producer Jang said by way of explanation.
"But- you said that you weren't..."
"Did I now? I don't think I did. Would any straight man sink real money into a risky investment just for gay representation in mainsteam media?
"..."
"You may be inexperienced, but I'm not going to take charge." Jang Sun-Keuk waved his hand in dismissal. "I don't know why you want a role so badly, and I don't care to know either. But if tonight, you put on an act good enough for me to forget you thought this was a 'mistake' - I might just take you as one of the drama's male leads."
"How do I put this...someone like you isn't quite fit for the role," said the director he had approached a few months ago, Kim Sang-Hyub. "What's more, we were thinking of calling off the production of Extraordinary You altogether."
"W-what?! Why?"
"We found actors that could be cast for the supporting roles, but our lead needs to be special. Someone with the perfect charm and looks to match, someone who can cast a spell on the viewers right from the start. We even tried looking for rookies or models who could fit the image, but the right person just isn't there..."
"Then...at least let me try for some other role while you search," Jae Seong cut in desperately. "A supporting character, even a minor one is fine-"
"Look, I didn't want to say it so bluntly, but there's no role in this drama that could possibly work for you. I understand that you want a break into the mainstream shows, and that your credentials are decent, but maybe you should change your focus?"
"...Change my focus?"
" It's not just this production; all dramas nowadays need their cast to look good...and well, your looks are slightly different from the conventional. Maybe you could..consider other things in the industry to do instead, like documentaries?"
In the end, the show never went on air, though it didn't make him feel any better. That last rejection was his death knell - Jae Seong had now lost the wager he made 6 years ago. With laboured steps and a heavy heart, he had made his way to Yeonghae University, to see his father as promised.
"I see you've finally come to your senses," remarked the Senior Chancellor for Yeonghae University of Performing Arts, Park Beok Chul.
"I did warn you of what would happen if you didn't enter the show business from my university - and that it would break my heart to see you in this state as a result..."
Contrary to what he was saying, however, Chancellor Park looked quite smug.
"But it's never too late," he went on, extending his hand in a wide arc to indicate his opulent office. "I started investing in production companies quite late, myself. Connections with the right people and some well-cut deals; that's how I've gotten where I am now. I'll overlook that rebellious streak you've kept up, if-"
"I didn't come back so I could use you as a shortcut to stardom," Jae Seong interrupted, unable to listen any longer. "I didn't graduate from here because I knew a degree from a famous university would overshadow my ability. Being chosen for roles in theater, even if they were small ones, was what made me love acting. You pulling strings to have your way is never how I'll look for a role."
A wrinkle appeared on the Chancellor's off-puttingly wide brow.
"You walk in here with no intention of changing your ways, and expect me to support your foolishness? I am your father, not your bed of cash to fall back on as you continue to defy me-"
Jae Seong cut in yet again.
"I'll admit I was dependent on the allowance you gave me for these last four years, but I don't need it anymore. I'll figure out rent and meals for myself. Thank you for 'supporting my foolishness' till now, 'father'."
The older man stared open-mouthed as his son made for the door.
"You intend to live alone, without a steady paying job? Have you lost your mind?"
"I don't have anything to lose at this point," came the reply.
Jae Seong flinched reflexively as he saw his father's face shift. The sauve business-like facade that he had always hated seeing seemed to have cracked.
"You won't take another step outside, if you know what's good for you. That is, unless you don't consider your acting career to be something you have already lost."
Those words really did freeze him in place, as the meaning of the warning sunk in.
"...no...you can't-"
"Don't you dare talk over me again, Park Jae Seong!" The chancellor brought his fist down on the desk with a thud. "I can, and I will make it so no one ever accepts you in a production! Who do you think the directors will favour, the Chancellor of Yeonghae; an honorary member of the National Censor Board and an established sponsor - or a two-bit sham like you?! You can't even act, for God's sake!"
"...what? What does that even mean? Of course I can act-" Jae Seong trailed off as he saw his father's rage slowly morph into a twisted smile.
Without realizing it, he began speaking in an increasing frenzy, words toppling over the next.
"W-what's with that face? You know I got theatre roles before high school as well as I do! And despite my university knowing that admitting the boy who defied the chancellor of Yeonghae would hurt their reputation, they accepted my application! The only reason they would do so is if they saw potential...in..."
His voice died again as Chancellor Park carelessly rummaged into his desk drawers, and flung a sheaf of papers across the table.
Against his better judgement, Jae Seong stole a glance at the topmost document - and his chest gave a sudden lurch as he recognized his acting university's seal with the Principal's signature underneath.
"'Dear Mr. Park, I hope this letter finds you well," his father began reading aloud. "Your son's progress is - quite fine. Just as you requested, we've not been giving his any, shall we say, constructive criticism - not that it would be useful to change his acting in any way, that is...If we may quote your own words; at his level, no suggestions would really improve his acting skills in any way. We mean no disrespect by this of course...we will continue supporting him until he graduates in two months, so long as we continue receiving your gracious patronage.'"
Chancellor Park seemed to gain vigour from his son's loss for words.
"There's more of these letters where they came from, if you're not convinced," he declared airily. "Aah, here's one from when they first agreed to admit you after getting a fat fee! Yeesh, they really are quite terrible at diplomacy. "'Quite fine'? 'No constructive criticism would be helpful'? 'Mean no disrespect'? Your college needs a better correspondent- or perhaps they just need to be honest about how terrible your performance has been. Have they perchance not realized I compensate them precisely _because_ of your ineptitude? Or do you, somehow," added the chancellor with a laugh, "actually think they're praising you?"
Jae Seong was too distraught to answer. Even while the letters were being read out, he had been desperately trying to recall all the times he had been appreciated by the theatre troupes, his seniors, directors- anyone who had seen him for his acting alone.
But to his dismay, there were none. Whenever he had asked for advice in the past, the responses had all been vaguely encouraging, but sparse on suggestions to improve.
Why had he never thought it strange that everyone had only ever given him cliched, halfhearted comments?
There had to be someone, Jae Seong thought desperately. There had to be someone who genuinely saw his potential for growth. It couldn't be possible that almost all of the last 15 years of his life was a lie...!
"Those theatre roles you got when you were how old, seven?" Chancellor Park nonchalantly flipped through a receipt challan book, revealing cheque after cheque addressed to theatre groups and acting companies large and small. "What did you think you were, some kind of child prodigy? Those junior competitions you won, minor appearances you were "chosen" for, even that second rate university that accepted you when you refused to study here - had you actually believed they were willing to take risks for some brat's nonexistent talent? Of course not! The only reason why anyone gave you the time of day was because I told them to do so! Of course, I had to furnish an extra sum to keep them quiet."
"Why...? Why would you do this?!"
"Because you're my son, of course! It would have hurt me too much to tell you that you weren't cut out to be an actor, but rather than realizing it yourself, you kept saying you wanted more roles..."
The chancellor sat back at the desk with an unnecessarily long sigh.
"Look at what you've made me say. Haven't I always told you that making me lose my temper is never good for either of us? If it weren't for your obstinacy, you could have stayed blissfully ignorant, and I would never have dreamt of telling you the truth..."
It was no good. No matter how far back Jae Seong tried to remember, no one had ever told him he was good- or even bad at what he did. Naively, he had always assumed that was how it was in the acting industry. If the director chose you for a role, and gave their approval for each take, it meant you were a good actor, even if their responses seemed lukewarm.
Now Jae Seong finally knew why the performers and workers always kept their distance from him on the sets; and why conversations reached a lull whenever he was within earshot.
He was a failure.
The only reason no one ever said it to his face was the allure of his father's "compensation" for putting up with him .
"There's no way you kept the truth from me just because it would have 'hurt' too much," Jae Seong said bitterly. "You just didn't want me to be an embarrassment to you."
"And so what if I did? I had a reputation to protect - and the reputation of my oblivious son as well if you put it like that!"
...was it true? Was that all he was? A spoilt rich kid so caught up in his dreams that he didn't realize he was talentless? Or had he always known...and chosen not to face it all along? Didn't that mean he was just as selfish as his father for relying on money?
...what was he going to do now? If everything his teachers told him had been insincere, how was he to know if he was any good as an actor? Would such a career ever be possible for him if he so completely lacked acting ability?
"If you're so torn up by knowing no one thinks much of your 'talent', why not see for yourself?" quipped Chancellor Park, breaking Jae Seong from his stupor. "In fact, if you get the role without my help, I'll take back everything I said about barring your future prospects. You can do as you please, and I won't concern myself with your doings in any way. You can have your allowance back as well, if you care to have it."
...why is he suddenly being so generous?
"What's the catch?"
"Oh, Jae Seong. When did I raise you to be so cynical? I feel some guilt in trying to shield you from reality rather than have you realize the truth about your acting - so consider this a way to prove yourself. Get a role in Company A's new production which will start shooting in two months."
The abrupt order made confusion temporarily cloud the young actor's growing despair.
"With Company A? But weren't they the ones who published the article last month about you-"
"Don't remind me!" Chancellor Park's choice rose by an octave. "Those bastards had the gall to 'expose my methods' of promoting graduates - methods which everyone uses in this industry, I'll have you know..."
Of course, his son noted with silent sarcasm. Methods, which constituted only a blend of "compensation" and threats. There might have been others who were corrupt in showbiz, but with evidence as compelling as those Company A had presented to a swarm of paparazzi, even the most dutiful son would admit Park Beok Chul had to be the most corrupt among them - father or not.
"Get a major role, and find out who it was that got access to my accounts before the production ends," the chancellor was saying. "I've spent a lot of time and money on you just to keep your delusions alive. Now make yourself useful for a change. "
"I can't just simply be chosen for a part by Company A. If it were so easy, I would have already-"
The smile in response to his protest made Jae Seong feel his blood turning to ice.
"What would be easy for you, in fact, would be to admit right here that all the acting you've ever done was an illusion, propped up only by your father's wealth. Even easier for me would be to advise all directors in the industry against your selection in any role. It would save you, me and them a lot of unnecessary trouble. Of course, you could be hired by Company A, prove your mettle as well as restore my integrity; but the choice is yours..."
"Producer Jang will see you now," announced an attendant, making Jae Seong snap back in touch with reality; and he was grateful for it. While the thought of what he was about to do frightened him more than anything else had ever done, dwelling on the meeting with his father felt much worse.
He hadn't slept at all since that argument. For a while, he had seriously considered leaving the country and trying to work in the acting industry abroad, where his father had much less influence.
But by the time dawn had broken, Jae Seong could no longer convince himself he had a way out. He was almost completely penniless, and without an earning job he wouldn't even be able to pay his flat's rent, leave alone board an airplane or stay in an unknown country.
And while it was a stretch to say the entirety of Korea's acting industry was under Park Beok Chul's control, would anyone even hire a spoon-fed, talentless actor like him? Why would they do so now, and go against his father, when they had continued to reject him for the last five years?
The only way to prove his father wrong, and get a chance to start over was to get the role, no matter what the cost.
Executive Producer Jang Sun-Kook looked curiously at the tired young man who stood before him with dark circles under his eyes. He motioned for Jae Seong to sit at the other end of his sofa rather than on the armchair across the coffee table - which Jae Seong took as a good sign. But at the same time, it also filled him with even more dread than before.
_Don't get cold feet now, Park Jae Seong!_ he urged himself.
"Were you the one who wanted to talk to me regarding the shooting of _Hunting Season_?" the producer was saying. "I'm afraid you've come to the wrong person. I may be the executive producer, but the one in charge of the casting call is Director Han."
"I can't go to him," Jae Seong murmured out of earshot. "That would be the same as failing right away."
"?"
The man's surprise grew as he watched Jae Seong inch closer, with the look in his eyes subtly changing. The air of tiredness about the young actor was suddenly morphing into something different. With him leaning forward and looking up directly to meet Producer Jang's gaze, the fact that his shirt was loose, three of the top buttons were unfastened, and his jeans being dangerously low-waist seemed more noticeable somehow.
"Tell me more about the lead roles you have in mind," Jae Seong coaxed, in a lower, softer voice. "Despite being a Company A production, I've heard that Hunting Season has yet to finalize the major roles. It surely can't be that not a single actor is ready to play the role of a homosexual character. But if that is the reason why..." Jae Seong leant nearer still, "...I could let you know right now that I'm not averse to it."
Is this boy, thought the producer with some amusement, actually trying to seduce me?
He decided to fake obliviousness. "Actually, the situation is complicated," he said with a sigh. "Moon Kyu - I mean, Director Han - only took charge of the production on my request, but in a way he's much more invested than I am now! Despite the obvious risk of a BL drama competing with other mainstream shows, he insists on only taking actors who have chemistry, and have no reservations about same-sex romance. I keep saying he needs to be more objective about the actors' beliefs off-screen, but he won't listen..."
"I see," mused Jae Seong, his lips puckered in thought. "Well, I think you'll find that I meet the expectations your director has in mind. I'm confident in my ability to establish a chemistry with my colleague...whoever it may be."
At this point, the two men were so close together that it was becoming impossible for Producer Jang to feign ignorance.
"How would you know what's expected of you? Have you even seen the script, Mr. Park? "
Jae Seong had to resist clicking his tongue in annoyance. Was the geezer just dense, or was he being tested?
"I think I've understood the general idea behind the show from what you've told the media. Hunting Season is supposed to be less about the nuance of the story and more about the mushy encounters and tropes widely accepted for heterosexual rom-coms. You wanted a BL drama to have the same without having to justify it with a stellar plot, complex characters or a tragic undertone. I also heard you picked Lee So Yeon as the scriptwriter - and I think she was a very good choice."
The executive producer found himself agreeing with all of the actor's points. He was glad someone understood that a BL drama didn't have to have a deep underlying message, and he had always wanted people to approve of a sappy BL drama just for the sake of its existence.
But that didn't change the fact that this boy was trying to sleep his way to the role. Knowing what his father was capable of, Producer Jang told himself he shouldn't be surprised the son stooped this low as well. But something about Jae Seong's expression when he had first come in seemed to suggest there was much more to his advances than that.
"And? Why are you telling this to me, and not Director Han?"
"That's, well..." Jae Seong's seductive manner slipped up ever so slightly, but he made up for it by tilting his head innocently, and lightly brushing his hair past his eyes. "You were the one with the vision behind Hunting Season, and I've admired the films and dramas you've backed for a long time. I wanted to live up to your expectations..."
"And what expectations did you think I had?"
"I can't say I know...but l'll do anything you ask me to," replied Jae Seong, trying not to sound too desperate.
Their thighs touched, and as Producer Jang watched the young actor trying not to shrink away, he himself had to try not to chuckle at the crumbling facade.
"Bold of you to assume I'm gay," he said aloud with a sneer, finally pulling away. "And even more so to assume that I'd find you attractive in any way whatsoever."
Panic began to overtake Jae Seong's desperation. He hadn't thought about that. If the man was straight, what was he supposed to do? He didn't have any money to give an already affluent producer.
"I - don't have anything to offer but my body," he said at last, while feeling his last vestiges of pride reduce to dirt. "But I'm captivated by you your and the drama you're producing, and-"
"I can see why you didn't even try for the audition - your acting is terrible. Have you ever even slept with another man?"
Silently, Jae Seong shook his head.
Internally, the producer acknowledged he had just told a big lie. Jae Seong may have put on an act, but it had been a good one. Had he not seen the latter walking into his office looking as though he bore a heavy burden, and some kind of insecurity; Producer Jang might have just thought the young man was a slut.
He gave Jae Seong a quick look-over. Not conventionally attractive in the slightest, he opined, but there's an unmistakable something...
Meanwhile, Jae Seong was feeling such strong shame and disgust that he felt physically sick. He'd just tried to sell his body to some older, more famous man that he didn't know - and he couldn't do it convincingly, either. Why did he ever think his level of acting could fool an experienced producer?
"I- I should leave. This was a mistake, I should just-" Jae Seong got up in a rush, his face burning.
But just as he began to turn away, he found himself stopping in his tracks, as a business card was tossed in the air towards him.
He instinctively caught it and read the address embossed in shiny letters below the name.
"That's my house address," Producer Jang said by way of explanation.
"But- you said that you weren't..."
"Did I now? I don't think I did. Would any straight man sink real money into a risky investment just for gay representation in mainsteam media?
"..."
"You may be inexperienced, but I'm not going to take charge." Jang Sun-Keuk waved his hand in dismissal. "I don't know why you want a role so badly, and I don't care to know either. But if tonight, you put on an act good enough for me to forget you thought this was a 'mistake' - I might just take you as one of the drama's male leads."
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.