I am very sad as I have applied to a couple of jobs and they basically said no to me. ;_;

@Ouja Akuma: Ok, thank you. :)

@Evilcupcakecat: Aw, that sucks. ;_;

I may move into the apartment w Juliette at some point in time too, as a room mate. There isn’t any particular urgency to do so w campuses as my study is completed for good. I do want to experience more independence w living on my own & it’s an exceptionally good place to hone my skills & help Juliette w travel. I’ll discuss it w my psychologist along w my other goals/issues, and we can tackle it (ex. my worries about always needing to know what the present/future brings) without any pre-conceived time constraints/deadlines.

Juliette - I can relate to our parents contributing to depression/anxiety too & staying in apartment does help~

I understand more now that it’s more of a language barrier thing that our dad especially doesn’t know much what goes on with our lives as well as frustration I don’t have job outside his & mum’s family business. And also past frustration on stuff like constant reliance on transportation.

However, it is getting very disheartening and repetitive with my convos with dad mainly being him asking ‘what did you do today?’ & then answers his question with ‘nothing’. While I know full well I’ve done so much stuff in my life & met a lot of personal goals including transportation & uni. As well as confronting my longstanding pain with roleplay. And things like that, people not believing in what I can do just reduces my faith in humanity & highlights more painfully how abandoned I felt during my roleplay breakdown & then thinking about that just encourages me to distrust people & have angry outbursts. And like, I don’t live to please people, thanks.

My mum understands more & is more compassionate, but she does want me to have a career of my own, any type.

She did also suggest me going back to school if I still felt lost, which I adamantly was against, as I died and lost all my friends in uni, and after uni I found a ray of hope / personal journey to fix my life + to be happy & shortly during, I did another course, in which I barely held on to my scrap of sanity & listened to a lot of heavy metal/rock music & died less high key but it was still horrifying further on the year.

I’m going to try harder in job applying, with my faith restoring hopefully and most likely when I can go for in person appointment with my therapist again ; to practice interviews & talk abt life in general.