Listen, I don't usually post about stuff like farts, but I have GOT to share a story from today.

I was sitting at my desk when I heard this odd squeaking sound.
Think- squeaky wheel or that noise when you let air out of a balloon, but you hold the top in a really thin line.
I'm looking around, trying to locate the source, when another person locks eyes with me.
The noise is still continuing and this person is staring straight into my soul.
At this point it is slowly dawning on me that this is a fart.
He is still staring straight at me and it ends in an even higher note than before.

I don't know what to do and it's so awkward, so I just pretend it never happened.

But
It
Did.

It happened.

A person let out the longest, squeakiest fart I've ever heard all while staring me dead in the face.



Also,
When I was a kid, I couldn't say dirty words like FART. Good girls say "toot."




Anyway, Post your stories about farts here.
If you smelt it, you dealt it.

@lilypoo: I'm so glad it wasn't me! I was just in shock. I gave it a few minutes and then went next-door to tell my coworker and we laughed so hard I almost peed.
There have been times that my hubs has slept on the couch, but I mean... He knew better than to feed me Alfredo. He had it coming. He's the only one to blame in that situation. This is coming from someone who is in denial of her lactose intolerance.

Also, Fan farts are hilarious. Every single time.


@thrills: I'm dying!! I seriously cracked up at that story and imagining the entire situation. He just saves em all up for one go, doesn't he?

@ixora: It was holding you down! Let it go, Let it go!

@Vladimir: I feel like your little creatures multiply every time I see you. XD I had to save it until I left the room.

@little crane: That sounds awful! Were they adequately embarrassed or did they think it was funny?