Seihou's posts
Posted in Seihou's Collection of Favorite Poems
Posted 3 years ago
Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye:
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
I suffer with PTSD and depression, and it's been a real struggle, so I've definitely thought about death more than once in my lifetime. I really love this poem because I like to think that the people who pass away are still with us in spirit. And at the same time, this poem reminds me of holidays like the Day of The Dead, where it's believed that our ancestors come to visit us on that day and watch over us. I dunno, it's really uplifting. We shouldn't be afraid of death honestly, and people should work on understanding that it's literally a part of life.
Now I feel like I sound a bit pretentious, oof TuT
Posted in Seihou's request thread!
Posted 3 years ago
Added Disney because somehow I forgot to add it?! ^ ^;
Posted in Hi I'm very lost, pls help
Posted 3 years ago
@Totalanimefan: When it comes to people who probably don't understand, I try to give them analogies to try and give them perspective. O: It's kinda hard because a lot of the people in my life who don't understand happen to be family who doesn't take mental illnesses seriously. Even then, I try to be as open about my mental illness as possible so they could at least get used to me talking about it. My favorite thing to do is announce that I have therapy whenever I actually do have to do therapy and I happen to be around family at the time :'D
I'm not sure, I'm assuming she's still in her house since it's only one specific room where the roof caved in.
Posted in Seihou's Collection of Favorite Poems
Posted 3 years ago
I decided to make a thread for poetry I particularly like!
For context, I had told my therapist one day how my friend (who I was living with at the time) gave me little "homework assignments" to do for when I didn't have much to do and she wasn't home. Those assignments were basically to find poems for her. We only ever did 2 of those assignments, but they were really fun and I liked them a lot. It helped me actually try to find poetry I liked, and I even made some art for one of the poems!
So my therapist decided that for group therapy, we would end our sessions with sharing a poem we liked. This led to many more poetry to discover, and it was really great.
Lately though, we kinda stopped doing that because new people are coming into our group, and we have other things that we want to focus on, unfortunately. So I decided to add some poems here!
My main thing when it comes to poems is that I try to look for poems that doesn't involve love. Bonus points if they're about boys too. There's always poetry about loving a girl or boy being abusive in relationships, but I wanted to find poems not involving that!
It would be cool to talk about poems and share them on here! I'll start off with this nice poem about love (I know it contradicts what I just said, but I promise this one is good!)
Flower by Kim Chunsu:
Before I called their name,
they were nothing
more than a gesture.
When I called their name,
they came to me
and became a flower.
Like I called their name,
will someone please call my name
that suits my light and fragrance?
I, too, long to come to them
and become their flower.
We all long to be something.
You, to me, and I, to you,
long to become a gaze that won’t be forgotten.
Before I called their name,
they were nothing
more than a gesture.
When I called their name,
they came to me
and became a flower.
Like I called their name,
will someone please call my name
that suits my light and fragrance?
I, too, long to come to them
and become their flower.
We all long to be something.
You, to me, and I, to you,
long to become a gaze that won’t be forgotten.
Posted in Hi I'm very lost, pls help
Posted 3 years ago
@Totalanimefan: Yeah, for sure! It does wonders for me if I talk about my anxiety openly too. Especially with friends, since sometimes what I'm most anxious about is somehow related to my friends. So far, everyone has been super supportive and one of my friends even knows what I talk about since we have to much in common, I might even consider him one of my best friends eventually and that's definitely saying something. He's pretty great TuT
But yeah, we definitely got lucky! My mom had said that part of the roof of my grandma's house literally fell through in this one room, and now they're trying to figure out how to fix it. I feel bad for my grandma, she literally had COVID in new years, and now this?? I'm worried, but unfortunately due to family feuds, I don't really speak to her directly, but my sister does and I guess I can indirectly talk to her that way. Ugh, 2021 is tough T ^ T
Posted in Hi I'm very lost, pls help
Posted 3 years ago
@Totalanimefan:Yeah! My therapist says that I'm doing pretty well with keeping my anxiety in check that way. Like, when I get depressed and start having negative thoughts such as "oh, my friends probably don't like me, they're just friends with me out of pity", I literally turn around and I'm like "What??? They've been your friends for YEARS, we're past the "pity" stage by that point. They're probably not texting you because they're B U S Y with school and work, you obviously know that. Chill out, go drink water or take a nap and THEN come back to think about stuff like that if you want, but you're probably not gonna do that because you know better."
And yes, things have been a lot better now! None of our pipes burst, so we're VERY lucky. My mom thinks it's because our trailer is literally maybe 2 years old now, so everything is practically new, even the pipes! :>
Posted in Hi I'm very lost, pls help
Posted 3 years ago
@Totalanimefan: You know, stuff like that does kinda help, but sometimes in the moment, I can't bring myself to think that way. Whenever I start overthinking the situation after the fact though, I look back and I think "Whatever I might be worried about, they might not have even noticed in the first place. If they did, they probably would've said something about it" and that helps me O:
@NixieFae: Oh yeah, definitely! My therapist says that finding people who have similar experiences and talking about things with them always helps, because it makes you feel empowered in a way. It really does help!
And are you talking about bullet journaling? Because I'm doing my best to do that nowadays, but my depression hit pretty bad lately so it's not really helping me with my motivation. But papercraft stuff is so nice!! And it's relatively cheap if you're resourceful enough. It takes lots of collecting, finding and practice though, so I totally get what you mean D': But whoa! That's pretty cool! I would like to learn, but energy and money are the main obstacles at the moment ; - ; Coloring is always nice though! And trading card things? That sounds cool too! I want to make trading cards at some point! O:
Posted in Undertale RP [Seihou and Alicethemadhatter]
Posted 3 years ago
@Alicethemadhatter:
Chara was thankful that the battle had stopped, but they saw how weird the flower was acting. "Huh? What's the flower waiting for..?" Chara asked, thoroughly confused. They floated with the kid, confused as to what they were doing, until Chara noticed that she was taking a few slow steps forward. "What are you doing?? He could hurt you!" Chara hissed in a whisper.
With baited breath, Chara stood close to the kid, watching in horror as she patted the flower's head. They could not believe their eyes!
"Wh-What??" They blurted out, but got startled with how the flower reacted by popping into the ground. Chara turned to look at the human as they had turned to look back at them. Even more confused, all they could do was frown, shrug their shoulders and shake their head. "I have no idea what that was all about." They said flatly.
Posted in Undertale RP [Seihou and Alicethemadhatter]
Posted 3 years ago
@Alicethemadhatter:
"H-Huh?!" Chara cried out, immediately floating back to the kid as soon as the flower began to speak. "How the heck are you speaking?!" This definitely wasn't here when I first came down to the Underground.
Chara noticed after the flower spoke that there was a barrier created around them, and soon after, the soul of the kid coming out for battle. "Oh no, you've got to be kidding me!" Chara exclaimed, going to the kid and grabbed her hand. "Dodge the bullets as best you can!" They advised them, mildly freaking out about the situation. This is super dangerous. Who let this happen?!
Posted in Undertale RP [Seihou and Alicethemadhatter]
Posted 3 years ago
@Alicethemadhatter:
Chara floated alongside the kid to the next area, surprised to see a... sleeping flower? Not only was it sleeping, but more importantly, it has a face. This was definitely not there when they were alive. "... Oh... kay..?" Chara muttered in confusion, getting a bit suspicious. They looked at the human, who also seemed very confused and a bit startled from the snoring. Chara frowned a bit. "Okay, you stay here. I'll try to poke it." They assured her. Chara floated closer to the snoring flower, and decided instead of calling out to it, they would poke it gently.
They ended up poking the side of the snoring flower's face, confirming that even as a ghost, Chara can definitely touch physical things. Maybe there was some weird ghost logic that they need to learn more about. "Uuuuh... Don't know if this will work..." They said out loud as they continued poking the flower.
Posted in Hi I'm very lost, pls help
Posted 3 years ago
@Totalanimefan: Yeah, that always helps. Or if you do what I did and just impress them with a random thing you can do, that also does the trick I guess :'D
Oh yeah, for sure! I like befriending coworkers, though I usually don't talk very often so it's mostly them just talking about things and then every once in a while I talk about something for a bit too. Ironically, I actually love talking to new people and talking in general, but that basically contradicts my social anxiety TuT
Posted in Undertale RP [Seihou and Alicethemadhatter]
Posted 3 years ago
Chara continued to freak out about being a ghost now and various other things, but eventually they managed to calm down enough to look at the new human. "... Well, I guess there isn't much to do for me now..." Chara sighed, but awkwardly floated to the kid. "The name's Chara. How'd you end up-?" The ghost then noticed how the kid was holding the side of her head.
"Oh! Are you hurt? Let me see." Chara offered, floating a bit closer to take a better look. "I don't think you're bleeding, so that's good news. I do have some magic, but I'm not sure if I can actually use it." They frowned. Can ghosts even use magic? Or touch anything?
Chara groaned, but shook their head. "You know what, whatever. Can you get up? We should probably leave this place. We can try to find someone to help us." They said reassuringly. Strangely, Chara felt like they were also trying to reassure themselves. "You're okay, right? Let's head this way!" The ghost pointed to the doorway at the end of the cavern. It was dark, but you could still see it. "Don't worry, I'll stay with you. Although... actually, I think I can only go so far without you." The ghost blinked, then tried to leave the human. Their theory was correct when after several feet, Chara was unable to move further. "Yup, I'm stuck with you. I think it's for the best."
Posted in Hi I'm very lost, pls help
Posted 3 years ago
@Kairu: Yeah, makes sense. My thing basically is that I want to marry/date my best friend! The whole in-law thing is kinda scary to me honestly. Hopefully my future partner's parents are nice! ^ ^;
@NixieFae: Thank you! And yay, another person who knows the struggle TuT I've been enjoying the site so far, it reminds me a lot of the first forum site I've been in called LunaeSaga. It's great! I like to do papercrafts like origami or just something nice for snail mail, I used to crochet a lot and made plushies, and I can knit too. I have done other random stuff. I can make a flower crown with the fake flowers, I try to make friendship bracelets with thread, but that is kinda hard for me surprisingly. I want to get into embroidery and properly learn how to sew so I can make my own clothes and stuff, and maybe even making things out of clay (particularly masks, but that's a big project and I'd need to find the stuff for it). I basically like to try new things with crafts if I can afford it and have the energy. It helps with my anxiety if I invest my time in crafts. I also end up giving away the stuff I make as gifts, and that also makes me feel good! ^ ^
@Totalanimefan: Yeah that's basically it! I do notice that I do have a type, but normally I look past that and try to become friends. Though a lot of the time my social anxiety kinda prevents me from really talking to people. I did have a coworker I had a crush on who was really nice and talked to me about random stuff. It helps that he was friendly enough to talk to me whenever I do get some courage and try to talk to him about something I'm interested in. TuT It also helped that I was good at making an origami samurai hat and that sparked a conversation for sure
Posted in Hi I'm very lost, pls help
Posted 3 years ago
@Totalanimefan: Yeah, it makes sense. I have several online friends already, they all just happen to be in school or younger than me and also in school, so that's great ^ ^; And also thank you! I'm actually very bad at talking irl, but good to know I can still communicate through writing on forums :'D
Yeah, it's the same for me, which is interesting because whenever I say I have a crush on someone, I really mean a squish, but people don't normally know what a squish is. I had this ex-friend who thought that when I had crushes, I want to immediately get in a relationship with them and kiss them and whatever, which isn't entirely true. For me, when I have a "crush" (or a squish, more accurately), I am attracted to them romantically, yes, but I focus on getting to know them more. My main goal in pursuing a squish is to become good friends with them first, because if I'm going to fall in love with someone, I want to get to know them first.
Although, the last time I had a crush/squish was with this ex-friend in particular, which showed me that sometimes I act like I'm in love or have rose-colored glasses on when I have a crush/squish, and that ex-friend was being very toxic in the situation. That's why now I'm more weary about having crushes and things. If I could, I wish I can have control over my emotions, but this was definitely a good learning experience. I handled the situation kinda okay honestly. I had friends and a good therapist help me come to the conclusion that this ex-friend is a toxic person, so I'm grateful for that.