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Forums Serious Talk Dying in the Family....

Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/1 20:09:51 )


So yeah, I’m not even sure how to even phrase this cause I’ve shared it but there’s been an update. My grandmother who was diagnosed (finally after YEARS of doctors not being correct) with a terminal illness is not looking too good.

I got a really weird call from my sister about how her condition has gotten worse and one of the nurses says it seems like she’s preparing to die. Her body has grown weaker and I’m not even sure I have processed it all?

I have already known that at some point sooner she would be gone, but I just need to put how I feel in words.

I’m gonna go through a tough grieving process, and I’m not going to rush it but I honestly feel like she’s been stressed for a few years about how they act at home.

I lived with my grandmother for 5 years prior to her getting sick and there were no problems but after I left it just went downhill. My grandfather and my great aunt (my grandmother’s sister) fight a lot and it sucks. It’s completely on my great aunt more because she always had a problem I feel with my grandfather. And I just honestly think that kind of stress just made it worse. I dunno

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Donator — She/her Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/1 21:06:04 )


The process is tough on everyone and everyone is at different stages. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. There is no right of wrong.

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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/1 23:09:48 )

I'm sorry you're going through it. My grandad died last month :(

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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/1 23:17:21 )
Yeah, it's really not an easy situation. Like Total says, let yourself feel whatever you're feeling. Everyone processes things differently.
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/1 23:17:24 )


Thank you guys for responding. It’s just rough I guess I don’t know. I feel like I’m too angry to cry right now but that’s okay cause I don’t want to cry about it and I don’t feel like it’s time to cry. I dunno ughh

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Donator — PomePome Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/1 23:46:17 )
@Bonnie: from expirience i can tell you, time wont Stop, Time flies and after a while you proceed it well. To begin it will be hard, really hard.
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/1 23:49:53 )


@Miss Sandman: yeah. I’m going to go see her this weekend. It all just honestly puts life into perspective.

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Donator — PomePome Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:05:03 )
@Bonnie: yes thats right! Is she still awake? If Not think about seeing her. My momma died 2015 and the last Time i saw her asleep with diapers on.... this picture hurts me so bad that I wish it wasnt my last Impression of her :(
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:18:10 )


@Miss Sandman: yeah she sleeps a lot more but she will wake up from the last I heard. I’ll have to do daily check ins for my nerves. I had seen her a month or so ago and she was awake.

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Donator — PomePome Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:21:49 )
@Bonnie: my mom wasnt concious from a day to another :/
But its a good thing to Visit her!!! If shes awake she will be Happy!!! :D
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:23:11 )


@Miss Sandman: yeah. She will be. We have her at home which is probably the best for her. I just know she would not like being in a hospital. We take care of her and get house visits from nurses everyday.

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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:26:40 )

There is no rule book for grief, unfortunately :(

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Donator — PomePome Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:36:36 )
@Bonnie: yes its the best for her! Nice you have this Option:)
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:39:52 )


@sunny: yeah. You just have to take it day by day. When my great grandma passed we took it hard. Especially my older siblings. However, out of all of their grandchildren me and her are the absolutely closest. She cried when I left for college. It’s going to suck


@Miss Sandman: yeah I feel like she likes being home but I know she hates that they fight. She’d want to kick them all out

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Donator — PomePome Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:40:52 )
@Bonnie: oh Lord why do they fight?
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:43:46 )


@Miss Sandman: tbh I don’t know specifics. It started way back when she first started to get sick and whatnot. It was originally between my grandmother and grandfather vs. her sister (my great aunt). They had differences on how things should be done, even though it’s not my great aunt’s house she caused problems anyway.

I think it’s a lot of projection grief at this point which isn’t healthy.

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Donator — PomePome Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 00:50:29 )
@Bonnie: thats really disrespectful to your dying grandma though!!!
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 01:52:11 )


@Miss Sandman: it absolutely is. It always has been and it’s gotten worse and she has gotten worse. It’s just sad.

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Donator — PomePome Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 01:58:12 )
@Bonnie: they just will realize how bad they where if youre grandma is gone. It is sad!!!!
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/03/2 03:27:17 )


@Miss Sandman: yeah I just hope the drama doesn’t escalate once she passes which is a horrible thing to think about but what else can I think about when they act like this?

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