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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/10/11 02:55:30 )
A vent away keeps the madness away. Or some other cheesy crap like that, HEH.

I needed a place for me to dump my dumb complaints about stuff, anything that's annoying enough for me to feel the need to write it down somewhere. Insignificant stuff basically, nothing big! Also I don't waste paper by literally writing them down, so y e a h
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/10/11 03:13:31 )


Took this snippet straight out from a tweet I just saw, it was basically a post where someone made a Halloween edit with spoopy looking characters with an adorable goth witch at the front. But this rant isn't about the Halloween edit, my rant's has more to do with the phrase show up there.

I used to go along with this statement, I mean it's great to be unique and stand out for the sake of self expression, embracing who you are and all. But lately I've been seeing this stinkin' phrase so much (especially when it comes to being part of the spooky crowd) it's been getting on my nerves.

I don't know if it's just me but I keep getting a condescending vibe from it. For example, a friend thinks they're the hottest shit just because they don't happen to fit in with the majority of society, and thinks that other people who aren't like them are boring people just because they don't look or aren't a certain way. I feel like it's kinda lost its meaning, where it's become less of being yourself to being weird for the sake of being weird (which somehow feels disengenuous).

I'm probably overthinking this, I think I'm going in circles in this complaint and I need something to slow my down. W h E e E
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/10/12 03:57:19 )
Don't know how I ended up having colds yet again, the weather wasn't even cold last night. Now it kinda feels like the mucus is burning a hold at the back of my throat, making it all sore and scratchy and itchy. At least it isn't giving me a dang headache like last month, like wtf
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/10/14 02:46:58 )
...Turns out it didn't go away in a day. Kinda feeling a little better than I did the past couple of days.

I other mundane complain-y news, my shiddy ass mouse refuses to click-and-drag to resize windows multiple times, I wanna freaking throw it at a wall because WTF.

...time to get a new mouse for work.
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Donator — Voltie Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/01/22 22:24:33 )
Flytrap:

I don't know if it's just me but I keep getting a condescending vibe from it. For example, a friend thinks they're the hottest shit just because they don't happen to fit in with the majority of society, and thinks that other people who aren't like them are boring people just because they don't look or aren't a certain way. I feel like it's kinda lost its meaning, where it's become less of being yourself to being weird for the sake of being weird (which somehow feels disengenuous).


Omg this is why i self-identify as a normie now that I've exited my proud-to-be-weird phase. It's no sin to indulge in the privileges of being unremarkable.

Sorry if im not supposed to post here.
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/02/14 04:54:19 )
Eruca:


Omg this is why i self-identify as a normie now that I've exited my proud-to-be-weird phase. It's no sin to indulge in the privileges of being unremarkable.

Sorry if im not supposed to post here.


Oh it's fine, don't worry!

I get what you mean. And also, I thought the purpose of the whole proud-to-be-weird thing was about accepting yourself for who you are and accepting others for who they are (the harmless kind of weird, not the bad kind of weird) , not cramming it down on other people. The latter way of doing it is so obnoxious, I can't deal with it, lord.
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Donator — Voltie Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/02/14 05:02:28 )
@Flytrap: fine line between reclaiming once hurtful ideas/self-empowerment and belittling other people to feel good about yourself, I guess. Many don't understand that belongingness and social acceptance isn't a zero-sum game...
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Ping me

Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/02/14 05:14:18 )
@Eruca: Yeah, pretty much. You took the words right out of my mouth.
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Donator Posted 4 years ago ( 2020/05/20 12:41:47 )
It's been a while. Today I've been notified by a mutual (K) in Roblox that someone (NB) asked her to tell me to add her(NB) to my friend list. Apparently she was someone I met once in probably Bloxburg a long time ago and never got around to accepting her request. Reason being is that I don't really feel comfortable most of the time with stuff like that, unless we had a good time chatting or whatever. It weirded me out that NB kept telling K that I knew her; in reality I actually forgot about her until I went to check her profile, and I noticed a button that said 'accept request'.

Here's the part that really made me didn't want to go through with adding NB to my friend list. According to K, NB kept following her in games she was in just to do the friend thing with me. It disturbed me by how persistent NB was and I didn't like how she wouldn't leave K alone. I don't know if I'm being a paranoid fuck or what, but I got a bit of a stalker-ish vibe from NB. Also there's this sob story NB had about being in a hospital and her sister deleting her friends while she was hospitalized. Somehow I'm not buying it, and I don't think I recall ever adding her in the first place. If I did, I may have removed her from my list; I have this tendency to remove anyone whom I have no spoken to or with since our first encounter.

This sounds so childish, I know. But I can't help but feel creeped out by NB based on how she treated K (according to K). I advised K to avoid NB and she said she would block NB.

Additional notes: Apparently when K unfriended her ( while and after we discussed what we were gonna do since both of us felt uncomfortable with NB), NB joined her in game and demanded something like, "WHY U DO THAT?" K also described NB as a little odd. If that and her recent behaviors don't count as red flags, I don't know what would.

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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/04/28 09:46:07 )
Oh wow I'm alive, yes wow amazing.

So I've been trying to get myself started in doing art commissions on twitter, and I managed to have a few commission me there. I priced my bustshot drawings around $15/$16 to $20 depending on the complexity and now I'm not so sure if I'm overpricing them or not. Didn't get anymore confirmed commissions ever since I stuck with that price for my art.

I decided to close my coms at the moment to focus on bettering my art and uh. Now I'm not so sure what the new pricing should be. It sucks to see people turned off by the price. I already made the mistake of lowering my prices so fucking low for my previous hiring, which was basically this:
Simple illustration (black and white) 50 x$10 $500
Complex illustration (black and white) 44 x$15 $660

Simple illustration (coloured) 25 x$12 $300
Complex illustration (coloured) 13 x$20 $260

Colouring only (simple lines) 21 x$2 $42
Colouring only (complex lines) 4 x$5 $20
---------
$1782

This had me severely burned out and had me having a few mental breakdowns, not just because of like, thinking I wasn't worth much but also because of how long the company I previously worked for STRETCHED OUT THE PROJECT. Like holy shit I thought they were going to guidelines for the drawings they wanted right off the bat, but no. They stretched it out from late August 2020 all the way to when I finally got paid, which is like around Feb/March 2021. Made so many mistakes, like blindingly accepting their offer to hire me without asking specifics and also standing my ground in terms of payment, and then there's dealing with the people who keep fucking coming back to edit over and over just because they didn't specify what they wanted in the first place.

I'm just- u GhH FREELANCING IS PAIN

Edit: Anyway I uh... I don't know if I should ask around here for advice and whatnot, I feel like I'm already annoying people with it so o k a y.
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/04/28 11:38:07 )
Just posted asking for advice about it. I want to hide. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed of myself.
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/04/28 11:38:22 )
Just posted asking for advice about it. I want to hide. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed of myself.
Whoops, double post. May use this space for a future complaint.

Note to self: Please stop being such a nervous wreck
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/05/7 04:21:05 )
Holy mother of God I am stoked AND scared. The same company just emailed me (through a representative of course) asking me for a quotation for my work. I'm scrambling right now gauging a proper price for a cartoonish style, I think I might take like 6 hours to complete one piece since they want a full coloured one with more than one character involved in the picture. aAAaAAAA

I'm hesitant to take this since I had a pretty bad experience with them last year, but I see some improvement in the way they asked me in the email. They included an estimated time for the project so that's a good sign. Hopefully they don't run away when I tell them my new price l o l
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/05/7 13:31:54 )
This seems silly but lmao I feel proud over this page I added in my quotations/samplesheet
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/05/10 02:59:17 )
I keep thinking I'm overpricing myself this time akdhald. Is this guilt talking to me?
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/05/10 06:23:58 )
Man I hate the fact that lately I've been feeling so exhausted/ getting tired so easily in the day. Maybe I should start exercising regularly again.
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/08/27 12:07:02 )
Paranoia is setting in again. Haven't been talking to many people lately outside of my family and the couple friends online. I keep feeling that my mutuals may be gossiping about me and I feel like an absolute failure. Keep wishing for a reset button.

My younger brother helped me out with a certain problem I've been having with my laptop, bless his soul. Now I can play games properly and finally get the full experience of the full version of Critters For Sale by Sonoshee. It's so beautiful man, I wish I was in that game's universe. In the Monkey chapter, you have a chance of meeting the Great Timeline Resetter, or you get to see the world come to an end by midnight. I wish I could reset time. I feel like every choice I've made has brought me to this point and I don't know what to do. I'm not smart enough for anything else nor am I skillful in being a people person. Still waiting for my existence to cease.
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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/08/27 12:08:20 )
Also forgot to mention how I feel that I don't think I'm getting much support in whatever shit I put out. To the few who have spoken to me and given encouraging words, I want to thank you all for that
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Donator Posted 2 years ago ( 2022/01/12 03:51:39 )
It's been a while. Been having some freelance work lately since Nov/Dec 2021 and I think it's been taking a toll on my physical health. I keep on overestimating my abilities and end up not being able to always meet the deadline, which is immensely frustrating. But at the same time I feel like my client gave me a little more than I can chew, estimating around 7-10 drawings to do within intervals of 4 days before moving on to the next sub-batch. And this is only the first half of the overall stuff that's required me to do (aka Batch 1).

I didn't think I'd start feeling my body kind of break down slowly. starting with experiencing carpal tunnel in both hands and wrists. It flares up every now and then and now I'm sick, experiencing vertigo even while lying down, headache that stems from the same area (bottom right of the back of my skull), sore neck.

This week the client asked if I could finish the rest of Batch 1 by THIS week and I'm still not completely well. I don't think I'm truly confident in meeting that deadline but I guess I'm gonna still try.
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