2 Guys: What? - Voltra Online

MoonEevee

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"I been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for one year. Its been a struggle, not because of us but because of situations that we both fell into, especially my boyfriend whose father is sadly very ill. With that said, it is a true struggle. Now, someone else messaged me who I met before my boyfriend. We were on the brink of dating when his children's mother (who he was getting a divorce from) wanted to make it work. He didn't seem like he wanted too but for his kids he tried. I tried waiting but I could not wait much longer and in the process I met my now boyfriend. I love him dearly! Now, I am torn because the other man came back in my life saying how he regrets everything and that he wants to wait for me now. It has brought back some of those instant emotional ties I had and I realized I am torn. I love my current boyfriend but I feel at this moment it can not go further.... And with the other guy, it can and probably will. At the same time, I feel living my current boyfriend right now would be a huge mistake because I love him to death. It's difficult but no, I will not cheat. They both know this. Its hard for me emotionally. What would you do in this situation?"

Tuijp

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@MoonEevee: I've been in a similar situation before and I took some distance from both of them and some time for myself. Most of the time, taking some distance can give you some prospect on the situation and will make things more clear on what you want.

Peachy

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Do you honestly believe there is no where to go in your current relationship? Are you sure you guys just haven’t plateaued and are not sure where to look/go next?

Personally, if my spouse started talking to someone they had a connection with previous to our relationship about being in a relationship in the future, they have already decided the outcome of our relationship.

If you have hard doubts about your current relationship and are already processing the future with someone else, I believe it’s time to end the current relationship.

Also on a funnier note I typed relationship 7 times LOL

FC SW-5104-7051-7446

Totalanimefan

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I agree with Tuijp’s post. although by posting this it seems you’ve made your kind up, I would take time for yourself and make sure you are sure before something happens that you regret or hurts someone badly.

Kira

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Edit: How much time have you been able to spend with your boyfriend lately? I only ask because I remember a thread about him a while ago. It was this one. Are you still not seeing him as often?

I think you should ask yourself why you're having these feelings. Have you both been too stressed out to enjoy each other's company? Does he still work too much to see you? You said that he's the love of your life a month ago but now you're interested in someone from your past who you weren't even dating yet. Maybe you're craving lost intimacy that you used to share with your current partner.

It's also possible that you're using the stress you've mentioned as an excuse so you don't harbor any guilt about your feelings. I'd do some heavy thinking on when you said he's the love of your life, and whether you actually meant that or not.

It's not my intention to be harsh, but have you thought about how you'd feel if you were in your boyfriend's shoes? If he had second thoughts about you because of an old flame? Maybe you'd be alright with that, and maybe he would be too, but if I were your partner I'd leave.

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MoonEevee

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"Thanks everyone for the responses!

To be clear, I am not emotionally or physically cheating on my boyfriend because I love him way to much to do that. Even though a small part of me wants to break down and cry to the one guy friend and tell him how stressed I am, I am not going too. We mainly talk about things my boyfriend is not into like Pokemon and Anime.... He knows NOT to go for anything further then that. Its some what nice to have a friend to talk about things other then family and work situations.

My boyfriend and I are struggling with seeing each other because of his dad's problems right now. His dad is sadly on his death bed and its hard to say when it will all go down. :( It is very depressing and it is one reason I will not give up on the relationship. What will be straining is the future a head with my boyfriend. When his father does pass, his left with heavy responsibility to his mother for caring for the home, paying the taxes etc.... This can dwindle our chances in a house of our own and even having kids one day together. I do have a son, but I know he would like another child. On the other hand, my guy friend has his life together and a better prospect with everything and we have more common. I am not in love with him or even have those strong feelings like I did, but I can see myself in the future have that possibility again.

However, even though I said I may have a possibility of having those feeling for the other guy, as of now I don't really want too. I love my boyfriend a lot more and feel a connection with him that's deep. I just thing this situation and the future will be difficult. It actually scares me.
"

Totalanimefan

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Thanks for the update. I think that even though it’s tough you have things mostly figured out.

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Forums Serious Talk 2 Guys: What?

MoonEevee

Tuijp

Peachy

Totalanimefan

Kira

MoonEevee

Totalanimefan

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