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Forums Serious Talk Toxic People

Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/29 23:54:40 )
Wasn't sure whether I should do this. but whatever, I have to let it out. I currently live with my mother and one of my brothers(I'm the youngest) in the apartment that belonged to my maternal grandparents that mom inherited upon their deaths. Now, about me. I have been battling depression since my teenage years after an incident with my grandfather I may get into in another post. I've been hospitalized twice for suicidal thoughts and have given it some thought. I've come to realize... My mother is pretty much a catalyst for whenever I have a crisis or end up hospitalized. Her words and behavior sting, and as much as I'd love to be independent, finding a job in this damn island is harder than winning the lottery unless you have connections, which I don't. She constantly picks fights with me over things I HAVE to do or don't do, according to her expectations. She wants me to BE her, which I can't. It's gotten to the point where I don't care where I go, I have to get out of the apartment. And yes, my brother doesn't help in this case either. He barely interacts with me whatsoever. And they both love ganging up on me whenever I turn up in the conversation. I read up a bit on toxic people and my mother(brother somewhat) fits the bill for what they are. I also always feel emotionally drained after I talk with her. For my own health, I need to get out. This cannot continue. Anyway, that's all I have say. Anyone else have problems with toxic people in their lives?
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 01:20:20 )
For a long time... my mother was one of the most toxic people in my lives - she views a lot of my hobbies (video games and anime and more) very juvenile and whenever she's around, I've had to hide it (altho anime not so much anymore). She's also one of those people who can say one thing but do another. And her words always seem to bring me down and tear me to pieces. And she did not tolerate any show of negative emotion.

I decided to study university far from home 7 years ago (I think) so I could be apart from her and I guess since then it's been much better. Sometimes distance from a toxic family member can help them realize that they don't own you, I guess that's what happened in my case. But still no video games when mom can see.

I hope you can do something about it. Cutting ties with toxic people is much easier if they're not family.

Back then... I didn't have many people irl to talk about it (although I don't think I ever did talk about it until after) but I did find solace in an online friends from long ago so escaping into the online world was what I did XD
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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 01:42:28 )
@Ixora: Yeah, sometimes my online friends are such a big help in keeping me calm and venting when I just had a fight with her. She does the same thing with video games, cartoons, anime, etc. That they're juvenile and games are for kids. Yet she doesn't bug my brothers about it at all.
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 01:51:52 )
@LordLucre: That sucks when parents aren't equal whether in love or punishment. My mom thinks they're juvenile cause of my older brother so when I do play she thinks I'm juvenile as well. I'm living with her rn and I don't have a room of my own so I've had to cut back on the gaming until well just a month more XD

Hopefully one day you can iron things out with your mom but it takes both sides of course D:
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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 01:53:19 )
@Ixora: I think I need some time away first before we can talk things out. It's just too raw at the moment and she has the problem of not listening.
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 01:56:38 )
@LordLucre: True. One day, hopefully :D
Same. Moms >.> lol
I feel like my mom only stopped treating me that way when she started viewing me more as her equal and less as her child
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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 02:04:18 )
@Ixora: I don't know if mine ever will. I'm just the baby, which annoys me.
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 02:11:12 )
@LordLucre: That might be it too tho DX
I don't have the same experience with that (luckily or maybe not so luckily I'm the middle child lol).
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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 02:12:13 )
@Ixora: I'm just the baby AND her only daughter.
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 02:17:17 )
@LordLucre: I can't really get into the head of your mom but those are possible reasons D:
I mean, not valid reasons but her reasons.
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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 02:34:41 )
@Ixora: Gotta be stricter with the baby girl.
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Donator Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 02:45:05 )
@LordLucre: Sad how that happens.
Sometimes, I think maybe I'll understand if I have kids of my own but then I realized I don't really want kids for the foreseeable future
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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/04/30 18:13:11 )
@Ixora: I'm mixed about it. Part of me would like kids, another part doesn't at all.
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Voltie Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/05/22 23:57:29 )
@LordLucre: From what i've learned from my own personal experiences is that a
family member, just like a friend, or relationship can very well be a toxic person in your life.

One can only take so much of a mental and emotional beating
until they decide its time to move on.

Are you in a position where you can move out?
(trust me i know it isn't easy doing so,
it took me a while)
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Donator — FluffyBoi Posted 5 years ago ( 2019/05/23 02:00:04 )
@kitcat564: Not at the moment, but I'm working on a plan. First I need to get paid from work so I can pay off a debt I have pending.
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