I've been severely depressed for weeks. I have been talking to doctors but due to a sensitivity to psych meds I have nothing that can help. I'm tired. And all I can think is that I really just want to end it. I could give a million reasons why, I could rant and rave about everything going wrong right now. But all I can say is no matter how much positivity I push, my depression makes my physically sick. To the point where I don't even feel human anymore. And I don't have a single person I can talk to.
Forums Serious Talk Probably not the greatest post
Oof I relate. I try to peddle positivity on myself and I just cant seem to chew what I'm trying to serve myself. Ive had an intense depressive episode starting in August and have been trying to force myself to do anything to occupy my thoughts away from the very real rationalizations of desiring to cease to exist. It gnaws at me and as a result I'm pushing myself further and further into exhaustion.
I do have people that would listen to me but find myself distrusting of intent when it comes to these things. Not good on my part but its also a mix fear of not wanting to expose and out that darkness onto someone else when they are suffering their own shit-vulnerability is hard and I'm inclined to joke it away while screaming internally. I have SO much shit going on and I haven't told a single person and I just am holding it like a burning ball unsure of what to do with it while it melts my hands. (Imagery ftw)
There's unfortunately no good way to respond to this kind of thing, least not that I've found. I can only assert that I empathize with the challenge. Anti depressants are a no go for me as a majority are potentionally deadly when mixed with my narcolepsy medicine. Orz.
Have you found anything successfully occupies you? At least temporarily?
@Scribartz: I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve been in a similar situation once before. Please go and talk to a therapist about it. I have one that I see and she makes a world of difference for me. That plus your medicine won’t make life perfect but it can become better than what it’s like now.
Also not every therapist is a good match, so if one isn’t working for you try to switch.
@Matcha: Trying. Everything just doesn't seem to matter right now.
@Totalanimefan: I have an intolerance to psych meds. I literally can't take them. Every time I have I have ended up having horrible reactions. My therapist knows, my doctor knows. I've tried to check into the hospital.
@Totalanimefan: I have an intolerance to psych meds. I literally can't take them. Every time I have I have ended up having horrible reactions. My therapist knows, my doctor knows. I've tried to check into the hospital.
@Scribartz: that’s awful. Are you allergic to them?
@Totalanimefan: I don't know... I've been in the hospital the past week though and they let me out for a bit tonight to see how I do but I'm going back so... =(
Ping me for fast replies!
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@Scribartz: I hope it all goes well for you
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.