Continue living for you, and find something to cherish and hang onto. I know that is rather a basic suggestion, but truly at the end of the day- every person regardless of popularity, family ties, etc can only 100% rely on themselves. You gotta be there for you regardless if no one else is. There is an entire microscopic ecosystem with a population of billions fighting tirelessly to keep you alive and well with only the resources you give them to thrive in your body. I can't pump you with false words like "it'll get better." I don't know that. No one knows that. And ultimately you're the only person that has any remote ability to navigate that. It CAN get better, the factor of wil it relies on a complexity of factors, one of which is your determination to take that microbiome working 24/7 to keep you functioning, and do battle with your circumstances and fight for a new path.