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Forums Serious Talk I feel like I ruined Thanksgiving

Donator — She/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 16:51:35 )


So my sister, her BF, and my mom (very at risk person) were going to come to mine for thanksgiving. We decided this in the summer when the cases weren’t that bad. In Oct and early November I said to our group chat that I don’t think this is a good idea because numbers are going up a lot. They told me it would be fine.
My sister and her BF are coming from CA to DC. For you non-Americans that’s 6 hours on a flight and COVID is looking as bad or worse than it was in the spring.

So today, even though it was last min I finally had the courage (and fear) to tell them that we shouldn’t do this. This was my 4th time speaking up about it but this was the first time I really put my foot down. The bad part is that my sister and her BF were supposed to come in tomorrow. My mom was coming in closer to Thanksgiving. I was nice about it and I told them that this was hard for me too and I’m sorry that I waited until today to really say no don’t come but this is also my 4th time speaking up about it.

My mom understands but my sister is so pissed off at me that she doesn’t want to talk to me and she told me to drop it. She is much angrier than I thought she would be.

And I feel awful about it. Even though I really do think it’s the right call I feel like I ruined Thanksgiving and Christmas. (We we’re going to do a two in one.) I’m sitting here crying because not only is it sad I can’t see my family because of how this country handled and is handling this crisis but because I’m the one that cancelled it. It wasn’t a group decision. Like I was hoping for.


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Voltie — He/Him Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 16:59:51 )

"You've had too much of the digital love -


I don't think you're at fault here at all - it's better safe than sorry, especially since your mom is at high risk. It doesn't seem like anyone listened to you until you set a hard boundary, and that kind of sucks because they should've been a bit more attentive to what you were saying in the first place.

I think you didn't ruin Thanksgiving, honestly... I mean, it would be really really bad if your mom DID catch Covid-19 if your family all visited like planned and that would pretty much actually ruin Thanksgiving and probably subsequent ones?

Maybe you can do a virtual Thanksgiving of some kind, like over video chat? Either way, I hope things are better next year and you can see your family at Thanksgiving :(

If you need to vent more, my DMs are open - I hope you get to feeling better soon, I know how hard it can be to not see loved ones during holidays :(


You want everything live, you want things you can touch."
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Voltie — She/They Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 17:03:57 )

Well, I don't think you're in the wrong at all. My family's usual Thanksgiving plans have also been canceled. At the same time, I feel like I can understand how your sister is feeling. Maybe she'd been looking forward to this and is upset and hurt that she won't get to spend time with her family on Thanksgiving. Of course, that's no excuse for her being mean to or lashing out at you over it even if she is sad. Trying to make someone else feel bad just because you feel bad is never appropriate in my opinion. Hopefully you two can talk it out and she can slowly start to understand where you're coming from. It would kind of surprise me if at least some part of her doesn't already understand given the circumstances though

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★~~Questing~~★

Donator — She/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 18:34:31 )


@Starlight: thank you. I can understand how she is upset too. I really wanted her to come and see me and where I live and this wonderful city. It’s just too dangerous. I think my sister thinks it will be ok because she flew from CA to PA in July to see my mom and didn’t get it but numbers where different back then and she quarantined. Here she would be getting of the plane and coming straight to my house. Plus I don’t know where her BF has been. They don’t live together.

@0v7: thank you. I couldn’t live with the guilt if something happened to my mom or if something happened so any of us. Just cause we are young doesn’t mean we couldn’t end up with long term COVID. I was hoping we could have made it a group decision instead of just me but it is what it ya. Thank you for your kindness. You aren’t spending it alone either right?

Maybe we can do it virtually. I don’t know when my sister will speak to me again but probably before Thanksgiving.


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Voltie — He/Him Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 19:17:42 )

"You've had too much of the digital love -


@Totalanimefan: Yeah, it's a heavy thing to deal with honestly. I dunno if I'm joining my family for turkey day since they tend to be... harsh, to put it nicely - I'll probably grab food and go to my room.


You want everything live, you want things you can touch."
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I quit Voltra. Read my profile.

Donator — She/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 19:26:54 )


@0v7: you do whatever makes you the happiest.

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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 19:33:35 )





*hugs*
I don't think you're in the wrong. I think what would really ruin the holiday season is for your family to catch Covid. You're doing the right thing, looking out for them, even if it causes pain now. I think your sister will calm down when she accepts that really you didn't have much choice. It's your house and no one can expect you to host when you're so understandably worried about their health.

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Donator — She/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 21:52:18 )


@sunny: Thank you. I'm starting to feel less guilty about it. It's sad but the right thing to do. Yeah that's true. If they did come I just would have been a nervous wreck the whole time and wouldn't have been able to enjoy myself.

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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 21:58:55 )





@Totalanimefan: <3 they will understand in time! and you will be able to see them and celebrate with them soon, just not now <3

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Donator — she/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/23 22:44:03 )
You didn’t ruin thanksgiving!
Everyone I know in America is canceling their thanksgiving plans. Things have taken a bad turn the last few weeks and it’s just too risky!

I understand being disappointed, it’s always so nice to see family and get together for the holidays; but this just isn’t the year.

And airplanes!? Heck no! I mean, that ticket should have been canceled a long time ago, planes and airports have been some of the most high risk places to go, no one should be flying.

You’re totally justified in canceling. I understand if your sister is upset to lose money canceling their plane tickets, but they shouldn’t be upset at you for canceling.

Some people are acting like going to a party is more important then their life. And I’m more like: I love my family enough I’m trying not to kill them, thanks. >.>

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Donator — She/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/24 00:05:19 )


@sunny: I'm hoping it will be soon. I'm hoping that my sister can come safely in April (depends on vaccine timing and case numbers in the US) but if not it would have to wait until summer.

@Lina: Thank you. I do hope that other people cancel. The numbers are just too crazy right now.
I agree with you. It would be nice, but 2020 isn't the year to see others. :( I hope 2021 will be safe. Yeah I talked to my sister about that last week. I was ready to say no but she was like well it's direct flight and I'm going to wear a face shield and a mask (which is good) but I don't know if it's enough when others aren't going to be that safe. I saw pictures and videos of airports from last week and this weekend. No one was social distancing and not even everyone was wearing a mask!!
Cause of Covid she got a full refund, well actually credit. That she can use through 2021. So she didn't lose out on any money. No fee.


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Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/24 00:15:41 )





@Totalanimefan: yeah I saw on the news today that they hope to have the vaccine ready to everyone at the beginning of Spring. It is only a little while to wait. It will be over soon.

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Donator — she/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/24 00:19:28 )
@Totalanimefan: she didn’t lose money? Then she seriously has nothing to be mad about.
Disappointed: for sure! Understandable!
Mad: no, get over it.

I’ve been sending greetings cards for every holiday (even little ones) and calling my Grandma more than normal. Because we know we won’t see each other. And Christmas is kind of crazy this year. I’m like fully embracing the holiday season and a little happiness. Everyone is getting fun stuff in the mail this year!!

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Donator — She/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/24 00:25:06 )


@sunny: That's what I keep telling myself, but also I'm worried that what if something happens and it's not ready for everyone by Spring. I hope it all comes together.
@Lina: Yeah I hope she's not mad anymore.
I should send Christmas cards to people. I feel like I'm really bad at knowing what to say.


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By Ghost
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@me
I'm friendly and will chat with anyone!


Donator Posted 3 years ago ( 2020/11/24 00:26:21 )





@Totalanimefan: There are like 4 different vaccines so far, I'm sure everything will be fine <3

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currently: new novel who dis?

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